A living suicide

I cut my wrist
And hope no-one sees me
I clench my fist
In hopes that no-one feels me

Hear me cry in my sleep
Hear me pray that i would die
And my soul would be yours to keep
Feel me shake and you would weep

I look up into the sky
And I wonder why
Why do I always have to be the one who hurts
Why do I always have to be the one who's face is pushed in the dirt

I look around me
And all I see are happy faces
I look around me
And I see no hated faces

Yet when I look at me
I see discrimination
I see hate
All I see are mistakes

I cut my wrists
And hope no-one realises what I have done
I clench my fist
In hopes that more of my blood would run

I know what I have done is wrong
And yet I continue to do it
For I am too far gone
I let my blood run to get out of this hellish pit

I look up
And I see light
I look up
And I feel no fright

But maybe its too late
I feel my body go cold
To me the lights look like heaven's gate
With the gate made of gold.

I cut my wrists
And hope someone finds me
I clench my fists
In hopes that my blood does not run dry

I fear the future
I fear the past
I fear the present
But it will not last

I accept death like any other
For death is inevitable
I fear life for what it brings
But life is survivable

I see the future
I remember the past
I live the present
But it will not last

I feel the wounds
I feel the pain
I feel the agony
And the disdain

But for now
My future is bright
Except for the wounds
That cannot be hidden from sight

Those stay where they are
To remind me of worse days
Because the feelings of pain are never far
But the scars reveal how far I've come
And I realise I can suppress
The fears that come.