Basketball Practice Got Cut Short

Part 7

Mr. Menendez told the story to a very angry and very large, strong young man, who looked like he would slug him. Probably only one punch would knock the 5’10” 170 pound Juan Menendez out cold. Ryan’s anger cooled somewhat when he heard the whole story, that Mr. Menendez didn’t act maliciously. But he couldn’t understand how the chemist could create such a dangerous formula and how the pharmaceutical plant could have such lax security.

As Ryan slept on the couch in the family room and Jeff in his bedroom, Juan Menendez was up the entire night, mixing chemicals. He had finally finished a blue concoction. At about 5 o’clock the next morning, Menendez took an ant and dabbed a drop on the ant. In a blast and a puff of bluish smoke, a six foot-long ant stood before Menendez…SUCCESS! Mr. Menendez quickly shot some of the green, shrinking potion at the ant, which returned it to ant-size.
Menendez woke up Ryan and Jeff and had them come into the lab. The three guys returned to the work room. Ryan, who was still shirtless, opened the lid to the Altoids container, waking up the tiny, slumbering jocks and coaches. Once the tiny team members got dressed and laced up their tiny sneakers, Mr. Menendez carefully removed the tiny boys from the container and back onto the glass slide. He placed it under the microscope and spoke to the tiny boys: “I think I reached a breakthrough to return you all to your normal sizes! I will need one volunteer, as I can only enlarge one of you at a time. But I must warn you: I do not know the effect this will have on humans.”

‘Bear’ stepped forward. Bear, the formerly 6’6”, 255 pound post who had short-cropped blonde hair, dark eyebrows, green eyes, and a light brown goatee, walked out to the edge of the glass slide, as Menendez lowered his fingernail level with the slide. Bear walked out onto Menendez’s fingernail, feeling very nervous about being on such a colossal finger. Menendez carefully placed Bear on a spot on the floor marked with a red dot, about the diameter of a penny. Bear was wearing a white sleeveless T-shirt, green shorts, and white Nike high tops; but all that could be seen of the tiny post was a speck of green, from his shorts. Without wasting a moment, Menendez sprayed the blue liquid onto Bear…

…After a burst of blue smoke, Bear stood before them all—back to his 6’6, 255 pound self!

“WOO-HOO!!” hooted Bear, as he ran to Ryan. Ryan and Bear smacked ‘high fives’ hard and hugged. Bear picked Ryan up as he hugged him hard. Tears flowed from his ruggedly handsome face…it was a touching moment. Bear walked over to the microscope and looked down at them. The tiny boys hopped around for joy…the shrinking can be reversed!! The tiny team members slapped high fives, hooted, and hollered. “Guys, look! It can be reversed! We’re saved!!” wept Bear for joy.

Jeff went out to the kitchen and returned with boxes of ‘Honey Buns’, ‘Ho-Ho’s’, and Twinkies, along with a bunch of bananas and a bowl of oranges. The tiny team hadn’t really eaten anything since before practice. These treats would tide them over until breakfast could be made. Bear scarfed down a banana and ate a Twinkie in one bite, all within ninety seconds of being enlarged!

The next player to be restored was Ryan’s best friend, Jim Tanner. Then Blake. Then Coach Perkins. Then Coach Green. Then the athletic trainer. Then Cole. The restored McKinley High School Varsity team was filling the work room, all hugging and smacking high-fives; Menendez tried to remind the enlarged guys to keep the thunderous noise down for the guys who were still tiny. At last, only one player was left to be restored, Little John. Only Little John and Wally, the mentally-handicapped man, were still tiny. Wally—by far the tiniest at a mere 3/16th of an inch—refused to go; he kept grabbing guys and pushing them to the edge of the glass slide so that they could be enlarged. “Little John! Little John!” the guys chanted, looking down at the two remaining tiny specks.

Just then, Jeff stepped up and looked down at Little John through the microscope. “Yo, Little John. I’m sorry I was such a jerk . I’m—I’m glad you’re going to be all right!” Jeff began, “I..I want to tell you now, before you grow back, so you know that I mean it. That I wouldn’t be just saying it ‘cause you’re big. I want to show you while you’re…well…puny and all, that I respect you.”
Jeff placed his finger gently on the glass slide next to the quarter inch tall Little John. “Are we cool?” asked Jeff.
Little John nodded his head as he looked at Jeff’s eye through his end of the microscope. He walked out to the 14 year-old freshman’s fingertip and patted it, while Ryan patted Jeff on his shoulder in approval.

In the meantime, the tiny, ‘roly-poly’ Wally ran over and patted Jeff’s fingertip, too. Jeff smiled down at Wally. “How’s it goin’, little guy?” whispered Jeff. This time, Little John grabbed Wally and began to push him out to the edge of the microscope slide. But Wally resisted: “You go, Little John. They need you. I can stay a bug. No one needs me.”
However, the guys looked on and began to pump their fists as they chanted “WALLY! WALLY! WALLY! WALLY!”
“WE MISS YOU, WALLY!!” called out Blake.
“COME BACK TO US, WALLY!” called out Ryan.
Little Wally crouched and held his ears; they guys were getting pretty loud.

Just then, Bear broke his THIRD (!) Twinkie in half and popped one half into his mouth as he stepped forward. The soles of his huge, size 16 Nike high tops bumped heavily as he walked toward the microscope. Ryan looked at Bear and noticed that Bear looked more like 6’8” and 280 pounds, rather than his normal 6’6” and 255 pounds somehow, but Ryan just shrugged quietly to himself. Meanwhile, Bear lowered his face—dark with dense stubble--very close to the two tiny teens on the glass slide. The tip of Bear’s nose was about an inch from the 3/16ths of an inch Wally on the slide. Bear swallowed the chewed-up Twinkie, licked the crumbs off his lips, and whispered very quietly and gently to the tiniest of the tiny specks: “Come on, Wally. Don’t be afraid. It’s still me! I’ve always had your back! Go next, please?” Wally could see a few remains of the Twinkie half and could smell Twinkie on the giant’s breath. Wally loved Twinkies, and Bear knew this! Wally would walk on hot coals for a Twinkie.

The big, blocky basketball jock was extremely gentle, lowering his face very close to the two tiny teens. Bear was smiling warmly. Then, me made a funny face, a face that always made Wally laugh…a face that impersonated a blowfish; crossed eyes, pursed lips, and puffed-up cheeks!! Bear was always fond of little Wally. For those who knew Bear and Wally, this was another very gentle, touching moment.

Bear then held up the remaining half of the Twinkie: “You want this, little man? Aw, I’m sorry. You’re wa-a-ay too tiny. You gotta be a least—a quarter inch tall to get the Twinkie! [Tsk, tsk] Too bad, little man! Well, since you’re just a teeny, weeny little dude, I guess it’s mine—“
Bear opened in mouth and moved the Twinkie half toward the huge, cavernous cave.
With that, Wally began hopping around and shaking his nearly microscopic fists:
“NO! NO, Bear! You HAD your Twinkie. Gimme it!!”
Wally quickly hopped off of the glass slide on the microscope. Fortunately, Bear quickly moved his huge palm to catch the tiny, mentally handicapped man. Wally into Bear’s waiting palm, which was huge and beefy.

With the Twinkie half in his one hand and tiny Wally in his other, Bear smirked and said “Hey, check it!” He held his palm right over the remaining half of the Twinkie, and Wally jumped right onto it! The 3/16th of an inch tall mentally handicapped man was barely the size of a sesame seed on a half of a Twinkie that, to him, was larger than a submarine! Wally was beaming as he scurried across the length of the Twinkie half that was being held between Bear’s thumb and fingers. Wally climbed down onto the part that was broken and plopped into the white, creamy filing burrow his way into the massive Twinkie. It was as if Wally died and went to heaven!! Everyone rolled with laughter. Wally soon disappeared inside of the Twinkie! Seeing this, Bear called out between chortles: “Wally! Dude! Where’ya going?” Bear gently squeezed the Twinkie, causing the white filling to slowly bubble out. Bear squinted and made out Wally’s tiny head, poking out in the middle of a white, creamy-filling gob. He scooped the gob up with his forefinger and had it and Wally balanced on the tip of his forefinger. Wally, a white little speck due to his adventures in the Twinkie, was placed on the penny-sized spot on the floor, and was restored to normal size! Bear hugged Wally, patted him on the head, and handed over the remaining Twinkie half, which Wally happily popped into his mouth!

Little John was the last one left on the slide, the tiniest varsity player for McKinley High. The guys started calling him ‘Micro John’ in jest. As he walked to the edge of the glass slide, a spider suddenly landed on the slide from a thin strand of web that went up to the ceiling! It was going for Little John! Little John ran away from the edge of the slide, with the spider in pursuit. Jeff lowered his face to the slide and blew. The spider was blown off the slide and onto the workbench, were it was quickly squashed by Bear’s fist. But Little John was blown off the slide, too! Menendez saw that a beaker full of the green shrinking liquid was sitting at about the spot Little John would have landed. A sick feeling filled all of those crowded into the work room. If Little John landed in the beaker, which seemed likely, Little John was gone.
Menendez, choked up, explained that the formerly 6’9” center was now shrinking to atomic size…and beyond. Little John would shrink to the point where an ATOM was as large as the Milky Way galaxy! That means…no air…no oxygen…no nothing….
“Damn…” mumbled Ryan, as he glared at the beaker, tears streaming down his cheeks.

“WAIT!! LOOK!!” Jeff was pointing at Ryan’s bellybutton. The guys came in for a closer look. Clinging to Ryan’s thin patch of hair around his belly button, was a speck the size of a piece of lint…about a quarter-inch long. It was Little John!! Jeff blew him harder than was thought; Little John was blown onto Ryan. Thank God Ryan was shirtless; it was easy for Little John to grab hold of the rope-like hair! Eventually, Little John ended up in Ryan’s palm. He carried the tiny center to the red spot on the floor. In a poof of blue smoke, Little John was back!! Little John embraced Ryan hard, dwarfing Ryan after only seconds ago being caught up in Ryan’s body hair! Now could Little John and his buddies laugh about this; but hanging from Ryan’s belly button, Little John didn’t see any humor in it! Little John and Jeff hugged: “Thanks, man. You…you saved my life!” said Little John to the freshman.

The varsity team was stoked. And they were hungry! Though it wasn’t quite six o’clock in the morning, everyone was wide awake. And they had a mission: to get Coach MacGregor and enlarge him. But first, BREAKAST! Bear led the way, out of the workroom and to the kitchen. Suddenly, BAM!! Bear whacked his forehead on the top of the door frame. “Damn!” yelled Bear, rubbing his head. “Why do you have such a low door frame??”
Menendez said nothing. He only stared, first at Bear, then at the other guys. Menendez whispered: “That’s a seven-foot high door frame.”
Ryan noticed that guys who he thought he was taller than were now taller and bigger than him. Little Wally, who was only five foot tall or so, was now nearly six feet tall. “Oh @#$%!!” exclaimed Ryan, Jeff, Menendez, and the entire team, in unison!

Part 8

Meanwhile, Jon MacGregor woke up at about 6:15 in the MacGregor house. Jon decided to spend the night at his parent’s house, to console his mother and to look after his very tiny father. Jon was able to use a Q-tip to remove his tiny father from his ear. He placed the minute Coach MacGregor on a cotton ball on the ledge of the sink in his bathroom. Jon showered, dressed, and gathered his dirty clothes and threw them in his backpack . He sat at the edge of the bed to slide his size 14 feet into his motorcycle boots. Jon walked into the bathroom and squeezed some toothpaste onto his toothbrush, not even thinking of his ¼ inch tall father. As he brushed, the cap of the toothpaste tube fell to the floor. As Jon bent down to pick it up, he thought he saw an ant scurry toward the cap as he reached for it. but didn’t think anything of it. Jon brushed his teeth, slapped on some cologne, and walked over to the tub to replace the towel he had used. He took a Kleenex and blew his nose a few times, then stepped out of the bathroom, tossing the used Kleenex towards the waste basket. The wad bounced off the edge of the basket and landed on the floor as Jon walked out, the ‘clump, clomp’ of his boots echoing loudly. It was only when Jon was halfway down the steps to the kitchen that he remembered about his dad. He had placed his tiny dad on a tiny wad of cotton on the bathroom sink! However, he didn’t remember seeing it around! Jon raced back to the bathroom, nearly in a panic.

Overnight, Coach MacGregor rested as comfortably as he could in the cotton wad on the sink. However, when Jon first awoke, his movements caused the cotton wad to be blown off onto the floor, next to the sink. Coach used all his might to hang on as the cotton ball glided gently to the floor, thankfully out of the way of Jon’s bare feet, which slapped across the floor. After Jon was done drying off, Coach decided to venture out, hoping to find a way to be seen. At Coach’s tiny size, it took awhile to cover only a couple of inches.

Coach MacGregor was in the middle of the bathroom floor when he felt the low, ominous tremors…before he could shout “Oh no!!”, Jon’s enormous boot sole thundered down onto the floor with a blast: “CLOMP!!!!” Then Jon’s left foot smashed down a centimeter in front of the terrified father, who was waving his hands and hopping around; anything to be noticed; “CLOMP!!!” thundered the left boot, which picked Coach off his feet and sent him airborne. He landed on his rear and slid on his shorts as a five-story high motorcycle boot heel clomped heavily in his path! Coach smacked into the heel, knocking him out cold!


When Coach came to, everything was dark. He looked up into the darkness and about three stories overhead, made out an orange “Harley-Davidson”… OH NO!! He was RIGHT UNDER the arch of Jon’s boot!! MacGregor was paralyzed with panic. Thank God Jon wore biker boots…had he been wearing sneakers or a flat-soled shoe, he would have been squashed!!

Jon shifted his foot slightly, the enormous boot heel scrapped against the linoleum, causing Coach to grind his teeth. Light flooded in…Coach was no longer right under Jon’s boot but was lying an inch from the ball of the foot. Suddenly, ‘THUD!!’ The cap from the toothpaste tube landed on the hard floor with a crash. As Jon’s gigantic hand reached down to grab the cap, MacGregor ran toward the hand, figuring that he would be spotted. MacGregor saw Jon look right at him, but simply did not recognize him; he was too small!! MacGregor was frustrated and scared. How could anyone find him at this size. He was 324 times smaller than life…where regular-sized people look RIGHT AT HIM and still do not see him! Coach MacGregor was knocked off his feet again when Jon stepped around in the bathroom in those heavy, thundering boots. Jon’s right foot crashed down, nearly on top of his poor, tiny father, causing a gust of wind that blew MacGregor around on the floor. Within a split second, the heel from Jon’s left boot slammed loudly and hard within a half inch from the battered little speck of a man. Coach was blown across the floor and into a colossal, WET wad of Kleenex! The thundering of Jon’s boots stayed in MacGregor’s head even after Jon left. The old coach was lying on the floor, bawling his eyes out. How far he had fallen!! He was simply another bug to be crushed on the floor that the man who ruled his house.

After a few minutes of searching the bathroom floor with the magnifying glass, Jon found his petrified father next to the wad of Kleenex. He used the tweezers to pick up his tiny dad by the waistband of his undershorts, apologizing profusely. Jon brought his father down to the kitchen and fried up some eggs, MacGregor watching from the top of the kitchen table. As he cooked breakfast, Jon told his dad about all the events of his life—how his business was going, how his friends were, girls, and so forth. Jon scooped the eggs onto the plate and placed it on the table, where it towered over the minute man. The blast of the plate landing on the table nearly knocked the less than a quarter-inch tall man over. Jon again apologized, but was growing frustrated over how frail his father was at this size: "Damn, I can hardly do anything around him.” Thought Jon to himself.

Jon picked up his dad again with the tweezers and placed him on one of the slices of toast. Coach was filled up by just a few crumbs He even impressed Jon by diving off the edge of the toast into the yellow pool of egg yoke. The yoke was thick, but the little man had a blast doing the breaststroke in his son’s breakfast as Jon looked on, chuckling merrily and calling out “You da man, atom man!”. Jon gently fished his dad out of the egg yoke with his fork. The coach was totally in awe of the enormity of his son, the spitting image of Vin Diesel with that “chrome-dome”, which Jon wore because, like his father, his hair was thinning.
Coach MacGregor began to feel insignificant, powerless—which he was. But MacGregor found himself feeling comforted by Jon’s thundering yet gentle baritone voice, which seemed to rumble across the valley, sort of speak.
After breakfast, Coach MacGregor cleaned off in a few drops of water in a bottle cap as Jon put on his black leather gloves and jacket. Earlier in the morning, Jon had called over at the Menendez house, where he happily learned that the shrinking could indeed be reversed and that the entire basketball squad was back to their regular, basketball-playing size. MacGregor was overjoyed. Even if he would stay tiny, at least his boys would have a chance to defend their title!! Coach was placed into a small pill bottle, which was cushioned with another cotton ball. Jon held the closed bottle in his gloved hand for a moment, then slid it into the pocket of his leather jacket. They were off to the Menendez house.

Jon roared his bike into the Menendez driveway, parked the bike, and began to proceed up the walkway. Suddenly, Ryan, who was dressed by this time, went out the door and stopped Jon: “Uh, we are meeting out back.”
Jon wanted to know why, considering the cold winter morning, that they were waiting out in the backyard, of all places!! When Jon reached the back yard, he stopped in shock. The varsity team wasn’t TINY anymore…that much was true. But now, Jon was looking at a group of dudes who were sitting on the ground…who were ENORMOUS!!! Bear stood up and dwarfed the Menendez house…he had to be at least 20 feet tall!! One of Bear’s Jordan sneakers was large enough to be used as a bed for a small child!! ‘AAAHHH” screamed Jon, who alarmed his tiny father, Coach MacGregor, still inside the pill bottle. Of course, Coach had a worse reaction when seeing his enlarged team. Each guy was around 15 to 20 feet tall!!! To him, they towered well over a mile in height. When Bear and the other enlarged team members tried to say hello to their tiny coach, they couldn’t even see him…to these 20 foot tall guys, Coach MacGregor seemed barely 1/16th of an inch tall.

“What’re we gonna do NOW!!” boomed a 22 foot tall Little Jon, ‘We STILL will have to forfeit our game to Centerville!!”
The guys were upset at Mr. Menendez and upset at the Centerville players who were responsible for this. They were threatening to go to Centerville and level the place, with their new-found size and strength. Bear wanted to smash Menendez’s house to splinters and had to be restrained once already!
“Well, so much for basketball practice today!” though Ryan, looking up at his now giant friends.

Part 9

Well, eventually, Menendez was able to straighten out the problem. The team was able to be returned to their normal sizes. However, Menendez needed more time to work on an enlarging formula that could be used to enlarge Coach MacGregor, but wouldn’t make him grow and grow infinitely. Poor Coach MacGregor would have to stay tiny and, thus, miss the game. It would be far too dangerous for a man 324 times smaller than life to be out on a basketball court with so many colossal athletes and fans.

As game time approached, tiny Coach MacGregor tried to not think about the game. He knew that the assistant coaches had everything under control. But he also realized that there may not be a bigger game against a bigger rival than Centerville.

During Coach’s ‘tiny’ spell, Mr. Menendez constructed a hover craft from lawn mower engines, an old motorcycle side car, and steel propellers. Menendez shrunk the hover craft for the Coach to get around easier. The flying contraption was about the size of a honeybee and enabled MacGregor to get around his house easier and safer than being on the floors. Coach had an idea. He boarded his hovercraft and flew in the direction of his son, Jon, who was going to the game. Without detection, he flow it into a large cavern in Jon’s leather jacket…the pocket was like a huge, soft, and warm cave. Even as Jon rode to the game on his motorcycle, Coach and the hovercraft were secure deep in the jacket pocket.

Coach heard and felt the thundering roar of the crowd at McKinley High School. As soon as he felt Jon stop moving, he boarded the hover craft, started back up, and took of. Coach zoomed out of Jon’s pocket. He kept low, hoping not to get spotted by Jon, who would be pissed to know that his very tiny dad was taking such a foolish risk on his life by being in this gymnasium. He flew about an inch over the toe of Jon’s right boot, as Jon tossed some popcorn into his mouth. A kernel of popcorn plummeted from Jon’s hand and smacked right onto the hovercraft. The craft was forced onto the tow of Jon’s boot, just as Jon moved his foot. Coach was able to get the craft under control and flying as it was getting knocked off the toe of the motorcycle boot. Coach piloted the craft through a crack in the bleacher and dove under the bleachers.

Coach MacGregor flew up between two huge Nike joggers and over a pair of knees. He was in the student section. Coach flew over the head of a kid in front of the knees he flew over and landed on the bill of a Nike ballcap. The game was under way and Centerville had a 12-9 lead. Just then, Coach saw Ryan break with a rebound, driving it down the court and going in for a lay-up. This caused the owner of the ballcap to get excited, knocking the tiny coach and hovercraft loose.
Coach tried with all his strength to hold on and to gain control of the craft. He flew right in front of the nose of a handsome African American teen, who furrowed his brow and swatted at the tiny man as if he were a fly. Fortunately, the teen missed, and Coach flew off, over the bench of the McKinley team. Jeff Menendez was sitting the bench, so Coach flew over to him. He flew the craft right by Jeff’s ear and yelled. But at his tiny size, and with the noise of the gym, there was no way he could be heard.

A time out was called, and Jeff got up near the huddle. Coach kept up, buzzing around the freshman’s ears. Jeff noticed some tiny thing buzzing around him, but thought it to be nothing more than a large housefly. When coach flew an inch from Jeff’s nose, Jeff furrowed his brow and swung his large, mighty hand: WHACK!!! Coach was knocked clean off the hovercraft, which was destroyed on impact. Thank goodness, Coach avoided most of the direct blow, but was knock off the craft really hard. He hurdled across the air, right into the huddle. He saw that he was being thrown toward a head full of short, dark brown hair with the bangs spiked up as kids where them nowadays….wait a minute…that’s RYAN’S head!! Whoosh! Thud! Went the coach as he brush across the forests of hair and landed right on Ryan’s scalp. Coach laid there completely still. He worried that if he moved around too much, Ryan would scratch the less than ¼ inch tall man out of his scalp, crushing him under hard, strong nails. The scalp was wet with sweat and smelled of sweat and a sweet shampoo scent. Coach held on for dear life as play resumed. Coach felt even smaller than his actual size, he felt like nothing more than just a piece of vermin on the head of a colossal high school athlete in a competitive, strong game of champions. From the tiny coach’s perspective, it felt like he was living a mythological tale…caught as a tiny, mortal, helpless spectator in the midst of immortal gods, god-like beings and colossal giants capable of crushing cities in the palms of their hands.

Coach held on to the thick strands of hair, drenched by massive beads of sweat. Over the course of the half and overtime, Coach MacGregor made it to the spiked-up bangs, which towered 50-60 feet to the ¼ inch-tall coach. By the start of the second half, Coach made it out to the edge of this dark-brown “forest”. Light broke through as Coach reached the edge. Ryan’s fleshy forehead gave way to a frightening drop of nearly 2,080 feet!! Coach wrapped his arms and legs around the gelled-up, gooey spiky bangs as colossal Ryan ran the court, his thundering footfall, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, SQUEAK!! SQUEA-AK!! BOOM SQUEAK!! BOOM BOOM!! jostled the teeny tiny man up and down, up and down. Coach had a great view of the action, that was for sure!

Suddenly, disaster!! Coach saw one of the Centerville guys stick his foot out, tripping Ryan. The fall knocked Coach’s legs free of the strands of hair. Coach tried with all his might to hold on, but his arms were getting weak from hanging so long. In only a second, Coach lost his grip, right as Ryan fell face-down on the floor. Ryan got up with the help of Little John, but Coach, who only fell about an inch into a pool left by sweat on the floor, was now in a mess of trouble!!
Coach frantically swam out of the sweat-drop pool and onto dry hardwood just as a colossal towel steered by a colossal sneaker mopped up the sweat. Coach barely missed getting swept up and squashed, but he swallowed hard as he heard the official re-start play. The tiny man was on the court just under the basket of the biggest basketball game in the state!! ‘Oohhh God!!” shrieked Coach. The teams were moving toward the goal, away from Coach, but the thunder of the boys could be felt hard by the tiny man. Suddenly, as is the case with such as fast-paced game as basketball, Ryan grabbed a rebound and was running and full force up the court…right for Coach MacGregor!!! Coach was knocked over by the force of Ryan’s left foot, slamming down about 15 inches away. Coach looked up as Ryan’s Air Jordan sneaker sole hovered overhead…time slowed to nearly a standstill for the tiny coach…less than ¼ of an inch tall, about to be flattened by his star player. The sneaker sole descended quickly…all went black….

Coach MacGregor opened his eyes. He was still on the hardwood court, still in the gymnasium, STILL ALIVE!!!! “But how??” wondered Coach. Then he paused. Coach screwed up a relieved smile…the tread of Ryan’s sneaker!!!! Coach was small enough to, when lying flat, fit between the tread in a sneaker sole without getting injured if the giant steps just right. Ryan stepped just right to step on but not squash his very tiny coach!! Just then, BOOM!!! The heel of a New Balance sneaker slammed down less than a quarter inch from the tiny man. Then BUMPP!!! The ball of a colossal Nike sneaker thundered down with the magnitude of a 10.0 earthquake and inch from the tiny, middle-aged coach. The ball, which to coach appeared larger than Epcott Center in Florida, dribbled “THUD!! THUD!! THUD!!” inches away from Coach, until the giant passed the ball across the court. Coach was right in the middle of the action, as arena sized sneakers and a 30-story tall basketball boomed and thundered and squeaked around him and as the colossal, booming bass of the ‘mega-giants’ blasted as giant teen players, ranging from 1,800 to 2,100 feet in height, barked out directions to teammates. Once again, however, Coach barely avoided getting squashed!

A white, New Balance high top, worn by a Centerville player, slammed down right on top of the old coach; once again, the poor man was spared, as he laid flat out, fitting between the tread in the heel of the sole once again! But this time, there was something sticky…either remains of gum or God knows what…which held MacGregor between the tread! Coach was stuck between the tread on the sole of a Centerville player’s sneaker!! Coach passed out from fright and severe vertigo as the giant ran, dribbling the ball. Everything kept going light, then dark, light, then dark, as the giant’s foot made contact with the hardwood floor. This scared the hell out of Coach, who knew that he was still in danger and that luck would not see him through the whole night!! After a minute, the giant was fouled and walked to the foul line. In the process, Coach became unstuck from the sole and laid on the floor, right between two size 16 New Balance high tops, as the giant made his free throws.
The gym was getting hot. Industrial-sized fans were brought in and were turned on during a time-out. McKinley was ahead 57-55 with three minutes left. The fans created a gust that sent Coach MacGregor across the court and toward the benches. The speck-sized man, feeling pretty humiliated by having his pants fall off in the process, rested between the toes to a pair of the McKinley team-issued Nike high-tops. He heard the voice of this giant blast overhead...it was Bear!! Coach ran over to the right sneaker….the lace was coming undone!! Coach scurried up the lace. He had climbed about an inch when a whistle blew. Oh no, Bear was being substituted in!! “AAAHHH!!” groaned Coach, as he was violently jarred on the loose shoe lace, trying to hang on for dear life. Just then, the official noticed that Bear’s lace was coming undone. He knelt to tie it…and made a surprising discovery!!! J

Another time-out was called by Bear as he hustled over to the bench and showed his tiny find to his teammates. They were completely shocked to see the tiny Coach, laying ‘spread eagle’ on the ball of Bear’s hand. Coach stood up and began to yell. He wasn’t mad at them…he wanted them to keep their heads in the game. And the team members knew this, even though they couldn’t hear him. As he yelled, hopping in the giant jock’s palm, the team members felt a rush. Wow! NOTHING could keep our coach away from this game. Not even the fact that he was 324 times smaller than life! Not the fact that he risked his life being out here being barely the size of a grain of rice!! Not the fact that he was nearly stepped on a squashed numerous times. HE could still be here and be in the game, they thought, by God, WE can be, too!!

Coach was passed into Jeff’s palm as Bear and the rest of the team rushed out to finish the last few seconds of a game that was now tied 68-68. In an extraordinary display of teamwork, the ball was stripped from Centerville and driven down the court by Little John. Seeing that he couldn’t make a clean shot, he passed to Blake, who passed to Ryan, who made the last second jump shot!!! McKinley won!! The roar of Jeff and the other on the bench nearly deafened Coach, but he didn’t care.
After much celebrating on the court and in the locker room, the team showered and prepared to head home. After dressing, Ryan looked for Coach MacGregor, but no one had seen him for a few minutes. Ryan looked all around on the benches and on the floor, but he didn’t see any tiny creatures running around. Finally he looked over at his basketball shoes, which rested in the locker below Ryan’s game uniform. Some movement caught his eye. Sure enough, tiny Coach MacGregor was on sitting on the mid-high ankle collar of the sneaker, obviously the victim yet again of another wind gust. But MacGregor was safe, sitting on the shoe and waving to Ryan. Ryan gently picked up the shoe and chuckled. “Damn, to you, my shoe’s big enough for you to play football in! You have a big pair of shoes to fill when I graduate, don’t you, coach?”

EPILOGUE

Ryan brought Coach MacGregor back to his house, where a frantic Mrs. MacGregor and Jon MacGregor were searching for the tiny man.
A few days later, Coach was returned to his normal size, but not without leading a practice at his tiny size. Even while being less than ¼ of an inch tall, he could still make them run. With the help of a special sound system, he could finally be heard and even yell climb into Ryan’s palm and chew him out, telling him to move his ass or he’ll sit the bench. When Coach was restored (much to the chagrin of the team, considering the hard practice they had endured) Menendez destroyed the shrinking formula and his notes that led to the creation of the formula….at least, they all HOPED they were forever destroyed. But…you never really know! J

THE END