Linericks

(Dad )

There once was a slippery old eel (deemac )

Who'd slipped many a fisherman's reel (Roscoe )

He said, "Whaddya bet // I can slip through his net!" (Dad )

Blindfolded - I'll do it by feel! (DS )

There once was a silly young nutter (Rhyssa )

Who couldn't tell margarine from butter (deemac )

If he spread them on toast / he'd like butter the most (Roscoe )

But said "Marge!" cuz B words made him stutter. (deemac )

A little old lady from Troon, (DS )

Fell in love with the Man in the Moon (deemac )

From down on her knees // said sir, if you please, (DS )

I'll polish your craters 'til June. (DS )

while reading in bed late one night (Rhyssa )

Heard two tomcats having a fight (deemac )

With a squirt from my hose // direct to it's nose, (DS )

I never discovered their plight (Dad )

Next morning I woke with a frown (deemac )

For my bed had been turned upside down (PCGuyIV )

The ceiling light's on the floor / and you know what is more (Dad )

My pajamas had been swapped for a gown. (DS )

On my way to grammar school (Dad )

I stopped off in the vestibule (Dad )

I was in a great mess // Had I dreamt that I dressed? (DS )

And why was I riding a mule? (Dad )

Oh, I guess I shouldn't have eaten that cheese... (DS )

Three Cheddar chunks and two Bries (deemac )

they tasted so good // but in all likelihood (Rhyssa )

I'll come down with a dairy disease. (deemac )

'Tis said that life's best things are free (deemac )

And bad things happen in three. (Dad )

I'm sure it'll be fine // to write this third line, (DS )

and hang any cost to me (Rhyssa )

On a pub crawl with me oul' mate, O'Shea (deemac )

We met a Martian who wished us "Good day!" (deemac )

Then the man from Mars. //. Started eating cars! (Dad )

which drove us pub-crawlers away (Rhyssa )

First limerick that I ever wrote (deemac )

Was based on a Shakespearean quote (deemac )

swift of wit wasn't hard // when I called on the Bard (Rhyssa )

Willie approved, but I shall not gloat. (Dad )

Is it t'holiday that kept writers away? (DS )

Did they find other word games to play? (deemac )

So they'll come back again. //. Should I offer them gin? (Dad )

Better not, in case rhymes go astray. (deemac )

A clumsy old baker played Rust, (DS )

His baguettes he dropped in the dust (Dad )

he said "five second rule" // and then set them to cool (Rhyssa )

Adding Multigrain seed sign I trust ... (Roscoe )

.Her cookies I expected to be delicious (Dad )

They turned out to be quite atrocious (Dad )

My esteem for her tumbled / in same way cookies crumbled (Roscoe )

'Twas sugar-caster-calorific-eggs-vanilla-docious! (deemac )

I'm gonna show off my handstand (Dad )

While appearing on American Bandstand (Dad )

Gonna knock them for six /with my breakdancing tricks (Roscoe )

My performance will make every fan stand. (deemac )

while learning to knit a wool sock (Rhyssa )

I was watching a film by Hitchcock (deemac )

I got Vertigo / looking out Rear Window (Dad )

Now my sock'd fit the ear of Mr Spock. (deemac )

Said I, 'the C-word' gets closer each day, (DS )

Presents for Grandkids for which I must pay. (Dad )

Video games is their cry / no cheap toy can I buy (Dad )

With luck, might be paid off by May. (deemac )

But first, a turkey we shall eat (Dad )

with stuffing and yeast rolls and sweets (Rhyssa )

With leftovers no worries / we shall have them in curries (Roscoe )

Eating 'til we can't stand on our feets. (DS )

After turkey comes American football (Dad )

an oversized behemoth free-for-all (Dad )

Well it's great for a fan // But not for this man, (DS )

I prefer bona fide pub crawl ... (Roscoe )

The day is coming for us Yanks (Dad )

the day upon which we give thanks (Dad )

There'll be Turkey & Yams // And musical Jams, (DS )

and lots of our kin who are cranks (Solace.Bring )

An old friend called by today (deemac )

A suggestion she wanted to display. (Dad )

she was sure she was right // and proclaimed in bright lights: (Rhyssa )

"Deemac! Please come out and play!" (deemac )

Tis said Texas ladies are feisty (deemac )

The kind that guys better be nice tae! (deemac )

If challenged to a fight / they'll scratch and kick and bite (Dad )

Seems an acquired taste, like ice tea (Roscoe )

I'm leaving, on a jet plane (deemac )

and the tune tends to drive me insane (Rhyssa )

Has it ever occurred //. just get on the damned bird (Dad )

To my existence, that song is a bane. (Dad )

OT:. Actually, I rather like the song, but just the same. (Dad )

On topic: Oh, don’t go trashing poor John Denver’s name (Allan Charles )

And have now just arrived here in sunny Spain! (deemac )

John was a great songwriter // and in Flor'da it's brighter (Dad )

Yep, I’m in Flor’da, the heat’s melting my brain (Allan Charles )

Though, for once, the weather is cool (Allan Charles )

So I may change from cotton to wool (deemac )

I’m shivering and freezing // but at least not pollen-wheezing (Allan Charles )

And with my blankets, I’ll still wake up in drool (Allan Charles )

Wreck the mall this Christmas season (Dad )

Smash things up without a reason (Dad )

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