A Change Of Heart

While sitting on the window seat, Gwen Lambert gazed out on the snowstorm. The weatherman had said that this was the worse winter storm that had ever been reported in our area and there would be much more to come.

Drinking her morning coffee, she couldn’t help but think about all that had happened over the last year. She had lost her father within the last nine months, her five-year-old brother, Robert, had become even more of an irritable nuisance and her mother just didn’t understand. Or at least, that’s what she thought. Her mother had been forced to take a job to pay the bills, leaving her to babysit all the time and that made her mad.

She could be out with her friends having a good time if only she wasn’t tied down watching the shrimp. It wasn’t her job to do the dishes, vacuum, wash windows or any other chore as far as she was concerned. Although the weather had stopped most people from attending work, there was still much that could be done around the house. But Gwen just didn’t feel like doing anything and decided to brood by herself in the privacy of her own room.

In the corner were all her dirty clothes, her jewelry was spread all over the place and the tv was on but the sound had been turned down. Gwen’s stork-looking legs stuck out from under her nighty, her shoulder-length, caramel-colored hair flowed over her shoulders like silk. She didn’t like the fact that her head looked more like an oval track.

Everyone told her that she had pretty ocean-green eyes and long legs, but she wasn’t happy with her boney, pink cheek’s OR her hips, but she realized she would have to live with them.





She could hear the washing machine and dryer running downstairs, the smell of bacon cooking and the obnoxious sounds of her brother as he attempted to sing along with the music on the radio. Robert was like most male children! He liked getting down and dirty when the weather was nice and the sun was out, but being cooped up for the winter was more than a girl should have to handle.

When the weather became cold, Robert would spend most of his time on the family computer or watch the television, which was also located in the living room. Mom and Dad had always said that with the computer in the living room, we would be less likely to get into trouble.

There had been plenty of times, she could have strayed from what she was doing and found herself going somewhere she shouldn’t be and not knowing when they would come into the room, made it all that much harder to stray. It had been hard on the whole family after Dad passed away. Tears ran down her cheeks as she thought about how much she missed him and the struggle they were in now that he was gone.

Taking another sip of her coffee, Gwen continued to watch out the window for another half hour before deciding that if she didn’t do something soon, she would just drive herself crazy. Rising from her seat, Gwen headed toward the kitchen to eat some breakfast before doing anything. She had always heard that breakfast was the most important meal to have because it starts fueling your body and mind.

Grabbing another cup of coffee and the paper, Gwen sat down at the table. “Good morning Mom.” Gwen said as she opened the morning paper. “A good morning sweetheart. Did you sleep well last night?” asked her mother. “No, not really. I have too many things going on in my head that I need to work out before that will happen.” responded Gwen.



“I’m so sorry baby. You are much too young to have this much responsibility on your shoulders. Just remember that we have each other and that everything will be ok, it will take some time, but we all have to deal with the loss in our own way.” retorted her mother.

Looking at Gwen, her Mother could see a lot of herself, as well as her father, in the young lady who sat before her. The waist length, dirty brown hair, sparkling personality, glistening green eyes and an hour glass figure reminded Judith of her younger years. Although Gwen had a much more aggressive and stubborn attitude definitely, which came from her Father’s side of the family.

As a matter of fact, the characteristics that she saw in Gwen had once been the same thing that had drawn her to Gwen’s father and now those very same traits were showing themselves in Gwen. Fixing herself a couple of pieces of toast and refilling her coffee, Gwen sat in silence with her head behind the comic’s page. Judith smiled at what she saw across the table and was bursting with pride.

It was about that time that Gwen’s little brother, came bounding down the stairs wearing his Spiderman pj’s and slippers. Both mother and daughter turned toward the kitchen door just in time to see Jacob enter. Just the thought of having to spend more time indoors with Jacob, was too much for Gwen to handle this early in the morning. Looking at her watch, Gwen noted that it was 10:00 a.m. so she decided to get out for a while for some fresh air.

“How much more snow are we supposed to get?” questioned Gwen. “Well, according to the weatherman, we are supposed to look for this storm to go on for at least the rest of the week.” Judith responded.




“That’s just great. I can hardly wait to spend more time with Jacob and all his crap. Mom, do you mind if I use the snowmobile some today if I am careful?” requested Gwen. “I don’t know sweetie, it’s awful outside and I think I would worry about you.” came her mother’s reply.

“Aw, don’t be that way. I’m 15 years old and able to take care of myself. Besides, it’s annoying for you to worry about me.” Gwen said as she placed the paper on the table. “Please mom? I promise to be careful! “ Gwen stated looking at her mother.

“Well, I guess that it would be ok as long as you’re careful and don’t go to a far.” answered Judith. “Thanks mom, you’re the greatest!” exclaimed Gwen as she rose from the table and headed upstairs to dress for the cold weather. Long John’s, clothes, snowmobile suit, gloves and boots all on, Gwen smiled and headed toward the back door.

Grabbing the keys off the wall hanger, she turned to exit the house, only to find that she would have to dig her way out before she would be able to venture out into the bitter cold. Taking the snow shovel from the broom closet closest to the door, she began the job of digging herself out to the garage where the snowmobile was parked. After two and a half hours Gwen had reached the garage and cleared just enough of the snow away from the garage door making it easier to get to the snowmobile. Crossing the garage past her mother’s car and stopped in front of a tarp. Gwen grabbed hold of the musty smelling tarp and gave it a yank. Dust flew everywhere making it hard to see. Waving her arms to clear the air she was able to make out the shadows of the snowmobile. Checking for gas and oil Gwen placed the key in the ignition and gave it a turn. The engine roared to life.

Gwen headed out stopping only long enough to close the garage door behind her. Where was she to go? What would she do when she got there? These were just some of the questions that were going on in her head. Suddenly, like a bolt of lightning had hit her, she knew what she would do.



Turning her snowmobile west, she headed next door. After arriving, Gwen knocked on the door and waited for a reply. It didn’t take long before the door opened and Mrs. Hawthorne welcomed Gwen into her house with a smile. Mrs. Hawthorne was our sweet neighbor and had been so helpful in the dealing of her father’s death.

“Child, what are you doing out on a day like today?” questioned Mrs. Hawthorne as she closed the door behind her. “I needed to get out of the house awhile, so I decided to take the snowmobile around the neighborhood to see if anyone needed anything from the store.” answered Gwen.

“Oh, that’s so sweet of you. I’m sure that I’m not the only one in the area that needs to get to the store and are unable because of the weather.” smiled Mrs. Hawthorne. She looked like the picture of what Gwen thought a grandmother should look like.

Was it the long, grey hair that was always pulled up in a bun that made her think of her as a grandmother? Was it the rosy pink cheeks, bubbling personality and big smile or possibly it was the plump figure that she had and the love that she showed to everyone?
Maybe it was a combination of them all that made her seem like the perfect grandmother but whatever it was, it made Gwen feel good knowing that she was able to make someone else’s life a little better.

After receiving a piece of paper with the items listed on it and the money to purchase the mentioned items at the store, Gwen headed out, climbed on her snowmobile and headed toward town. After completing that task, Gwen thought about how much better it made her feel to be able to do something unselfishly like she had done.




Smiling, Gwen decided to go from house to house to see if there was anyone that needed anything from the store. Every person that she visited needed something from the store and was glad to give her a tip for her trouble. At first Gwen didn’t want to take the money, but after being told to keep the change at each place, she decided that it would at least pay for the gas and oil that were being used. That too pleased her for some reason and made her feel all that much stronger.

WOW, she thought to herself. I’m out doing something that really makes me and lots more people happy and making money at the same time. “Let it snow all it wants, I’ll keep going out until everyone has all the things they need.” She continued thinking. Gwen didn’t really think about the money and really didn’t care about it for all she could think about were the smiles on those elderly people as she went shopping for them.

Back and forth she went, from house to house until well after dark. Looking at her watch, Gwen noted that it was 10:00 p.m. and the last time she ate was earlier that morning. Wow, had it been that long? It sure didn’t feel like it. To Gwen, the day had come and gone leaving her feeling the greatest high she had ever experienced in her whole entire life.

Arriving back at the house, Gwen put the snowmobile back in the garage and was forced to shovel herself back into the house. Once inside the house, she fell into a chair and began removing her snowmobile suit, boots, hat and gloves. Her mother brought her a cup of hot coffee and placed it down before her.

“Thanks mom, I really needed this.” Gwen said smiling at her mother. Smiling back, Judith asked “So, what have you been up to all day young lady?” “Oh mom, you wouldn’t believe what I have been doing. All day I have been going to each of the neighbors asking them if they needed anything from the store.” Every house I went to needed something so I’ve been running back and forth to the store for some of the older people in the neighborhood.” explained Gwen.
Smiling to herself and swelling up inside with pride, she couldn’t help but give Gwen a big hug and a kiss on the forehead. “What was that for?” Gwen asked looking up at her mother. “Nothing darling. You just reminded me of how precious you are to me and how much I love you.” Judith said turning toward the cabinets so as not to let Gwen see her crying.

“I love you and I guess Jacob too, but just don’t tell him I said so, ok?” Gwen queried taking another sip of coffee. “Ok, it will be just our secret and I promise never to tell.” Judith responded trying hard not to laugh.

“How were you able to stay out so long without coming back to refuel?” her mother inquired. “Oh, I’m glad that you reminded me.” Gwen spouted. With that, Gwen jumped up and went to where she had hung her snowmobile suit. Reaching into the pockets, she came up with a wad of money. Just about all the pockets were filled with the money that Gwen had so hastily stuffed inside.

“What’s all this? Where did all this money come from?” Judith said as her eyes grew bigger with each bill placed on the table. “Oh, I forgot to tell you. All the people I went to the store for insisted that I keep the change so I’ve been just sticking it in my pockets all day.”

“That looks like quite a bit of money there sweetheart. Are you sure they all told you to keep the change?” Judith continued grilling. “Yea, positive, but the funny thing was that they all paid twice as much for what they ordered and told me to keep the change. You can call them and ask if you like.” Gwen blurted out. “No, I don’t think that will be necessary. I believe you!” retorted Judith.





After placing all the twenties, tens, fives and ones in their separate piles, Gwen and Judith began counting the money. Gwen looked at her mother and said “I count $127.00, what number did you come up with?” “I count the same thing but this is crazy, why would people pay so much just so you will go to the store for them? It just doesn’t make any sense to me. What are you going to do with all the money?” Judith continued.

“Well, I don’t really know and haven’t even thought about it until you asked.” came the response from Gwen. “How about this, I’ll keep the $27.00 to pay for my gas and oil and you keep the other $100.00 to go toward paying some of the bills?” Gwen continued. “Oh honey. I can’t take your money. You worked hard to earn it and should use it to do something special for yourself.” replied Judith as a tear rolled down her cheek.

“To be quite honest, I can’t really think of anything I really want or need right now, so I’m giving the money to you to help with the bills. Just consider it rent or grocery money or whatever.” Gwen said as she finished supper and was heading toward the living room.
“Ewwww, look who’s here! Where ya been all day, dog breath?” Jacob asked while pretending to strangle himself with his hands wrapped around his neck. “Well, it’s really not any of your business But if you must know, I had to get out away from you before I finally went crazy and terminated your worthless life.” Gwen cackled back.

“Seriously, where were you?” Jacob asked. “For you information Mr. Smartie pants, I have been helping the neighbors and making money while I was doing it.” responded Gwen. “Oh yea, well how did you do that?” Jacob continued. “I took the snowmobile and went around the neighborhood to see if anyone needed anything at the store. Those that needed something told me to keep the change, so I did. Mom and I counted out $127.00 just a few minutes ago in the kitchen.” responded Gwen. “No way. No one would pay someone to go to the grocery store for them. They probably gave you the money cause they felt sorry for someone that looks as ugly as you.” Jacob spouted out while rolling on the floor.

“Very funny, you are really a pain in the neck, did you know that?” Gwen scowled. “Oh yea, pelican face. Well, I have only just begun to make your world rock baby!” exclaimed Jacob “Buzz off twerp and leave me alone.” shouted Gwen.

“Hey, what’s going on in there?” came mom’s voice from the kitchen. “Nothing mom, just kid stuff.” retorted Gwen. “Let’s not let it get out of hand like it did last Tuesday ok ?” continued Gwen’s mother. “Yea, just tell this worm to leave me alone.” blurted Gwen as she stretched out on the recliner,

“Jacob, leave your sister alone. Why don’t you go watch the tv for awhile honey.” questioned Judith. Grumbling about something not being fair Jacob passed in front of the television, turned and shook his tail, at her and made sounds like he was passing gas before he noticed his mother standing in the kitchen doorway watching him.

“Uh, guess I better head on up to my room, it’s getting late ya know.” Jacob said as he passed by the kitchen watching his mother scowl at him from the doorway. Gwen watched tv for another 30 minutes before deciding to also retire for the evening.

Before going to bed, Gwen sat on the window seat and looked at the storm. It didn’t seem like it had let up any. As a matter of fact, it looked to Gwen like it was worse now then it was that morning.








After a short, one-way conversation with her dad in her prayers, Gwen climbed into her bed. Smiling about how good she felt while helping others, Gwen decided that it would be a lot easier to carry more than one or two things if she tied the toboggan on the back of the snowmobile. The more she thought about it, the more logical it seemed. Picking up her koala bear stuffed animal and calling her Chihuahua, Choo Choo, to join her, Gwen lay back in bed and was soon asleep.

When morning came, Gwen was awakened by Choo Choo walking on her. “Geeze Choo Choo, one day that I can sleep in and you decide to wake me. Ok, I’m up, I’m up!” Gwen said.
Looking out her bedroom window she was confronted with the fact that she couldn’t see out the window. The snowstorm was still going on outside the best that Gwen could tell by the wind blowing. Convincing herself that she could still make the neighborhood rounds for groceries while doing it safely was the easy part.

Quickly dressing, she noticed that the clock on the stand next to her bed said it was 6:00 a.m. “Six a.m. Choo Choo. It’s six o’clock in the morning and you wake me early when I could be sleeping in. What am I gonna do with you?” questioned Gwen as she lifted the dog up to her face.

After making a pot of coffee and some toast, Gwen sat down at the table planning on how she should go about making herself available for people that wanted something from the store. Finishing her coffee and last piece of toast, she quietly left the house. Looking at all the snow that had to be shoveled, she knew she wouldn’t get out until around noon.






That wasn’t good enough and the thought of having to shovel one more time made her want to vomit. Cutting the snow into a set of steps, Gwen climbed out and made her way to the garage. She couldn’t understand why her mother wouldn’t allow her to use the snow blower that Dad got for Christmas last year. The thought of her Dad out using the snow blower last winter brought a smile to her face as she remembered that last year it had been the easiest winter we had, had in over forty years.

In fact, since we had so little snow, Dad never got the chance to use his Christmas present. If that wasn’t an immediate downer, Gwen didn’t know what was. That’s it, she had made up her mind that she would use the snow blower carefully and get as much done as she could before getting on the snowmobile.

A quick glance at the owner’s manual and off she went. Checking the oil and gas, she primed the carburetor before pulling as hard as she could on the rope. The engine roared to life. Gwen was hoping to get the driveway and sidewalk done before her Mother and Jacob got up.

Starting at the door of the garage, Gwen walked behind the machine thinking to herself that this machine was no big deal and was a lot faster than shoveling. Forty-five minutes later, the task was accomplished, the snow blower was back in the garage and she was able to open the garage door enough to get the snowmobile out.

As fast as the snow was coming down, Gwen realized that she could have a full time job right there blowing the snow. Deciding to do the job later, Gwen tied the toboggan to the snowmobile and cranked up the green John Deere snowmobile. Some of the people didn’t need anything but either way, they all told her how much she was appreciated.

The feeling of depression was lost when she stopped back by Mrs. Hawthorne’s house. Mrs. Hawthorne was grateful to see her again. She had made some chocolate chip cookies earlier in the morning, so we sat at the kitchen table enjoying the end product.

Glancing at her watch, Gwen jumped up and began dressing for the cold outside. “I’m sorry to be in such a hurry, but I have some other people that I have to visit today.” Gwen stated. “I’m sorry that you can’t stay any longer, I do so enjoy your company.” responded Mrs. Hawthorne. “Do you have much room on one of those snowmobiles?” she continued.

“No, not really but this morning I was able to tie my toboggan to the back of the snowmobile so I could carry more.” came Gwen’s answer. “That’s a good idea, why didn’t I think of that?” Mrs. Hawthorne asked herself. “Would you mind picking up a few items for me at the store?” continued Mrs. Hawthorne. “No, not at all, what do you need?” questioned Gwen.

“Well, I could use some laundry detergent, a bottle of fabric softener and maybe you wouldn’t mind getting me some denture cleaner.” Mrs. Hawthorne said softly. “Sure, no problem.” responded Gwen as she wrote the items on a list making sure to put Mrs. Hawthorne’s name on it. After giving Mrs. Hawthorne a hug, Gwen turned and headed out into the weather.

The toboggan worked pretty good, but Gwen noticed that she was having to take it easy so as not to lose any of her cargo. She decided that while she was at the store, she would see if Mr. Rothchild had any spare milk crates she could borrow.

Mr. Rothchild wasn’t all that excited about losing those crates, but he would allow Gwen to rent them from him. Satisfied, the deal was made. Gwen would rent the crates for fifty cents a day and when all the snow was gone, she would return them back to the store. Lashing the crates to the toboggan, Gwen began loading the groceries into them, making sure that names were placed on the register ticket for whom the packages were for.




After each delivery she would cross the name off the list and continue on to the next place. By late afternoon there was no way to see where she was or how to get anywhere. The snow had covered everything to the point that she couldn’t see to drive any further. She realized that she was somewhere on the outskirts of town on a back road but with all the snow blowing, Gwen couldn’t make out anything. Easing her way along, she was able to move but in what direction was she going? She had no idea and was starting to get scared.

Suddenly, the snow below her gave way and Gwen found herself being flung from the snowmobile. After a slight flight, she found herself in some sort of a gully. After falling, Gwen finally realized that she was face down and the snow had caved in on her. Working herself around, Gwen was finally able to melt enough snow where she could move a little. Scared, she shouted for help, not realizing that no one would hear her pleas. Pounding on the snow, Gwen tried to get the snow to release her, but her efforts were futile. What am I going to do? She thought to herself as the tears rolled down her cheek, landing in a puddle below her. Cold, wet and trapped. That’s just great! What next? After calming down, Gwen realized that she may never get out of this situation alive. With all this snow on top of her and no one knowing where she was, how could she expect to live through this? she questioned herself.

She thought about how mad her mother would be when she woke and found she had used the snow blower to clean the sidewalks and driveway. She would be worried about me and would be wondering where I was. What would her mother do when she didn’t come home? All these and more questions kept running through her head as she lay there in her coffin of ice and snow.

She realized also that there was so much snow on her that she could no longer hear the storm outside and the weight was slowly crushing her to death. Things began to get hazy and she felt light headed. She was cold, oh so cold. She did everything she could do to stay awake, but eventually even she had to concede. As she started to doze, she said a quick prayer before closing her eyes.

As her eyes began to close, she heard a whisper in her ears saying “Hold on sweetheart. Don’t give up! Forcing her eyes to open, Gwen saw the vision of her father. “Daddy, I’m trying to stay awake but it is really hard and I am cold.” Gwen whispered. “You must force yourself to stay awake. Never give up!” the voice said.

Gwen wanted to fight, but with all the weight bearing down on her, she was desperately short on air. She tried desperately to stay awake but it seemed impossible. As her eyes started to close for the last time, she smiled. Opening her eyes, Gwen tried to figure out what had happened and became aware of the noises and the bright lights around her.

“I wonder if I am in Heaven?” she asked herself. As her eyes begin to adjust, it began to register. “Hello! You certainly had us worried young lady. By the way, my name is Roxanne and I’m your nurse. How do you feel? Roxanne asked. “Tired, where am I? Gwen inquired. “You are at the hospital and you have been sleeping for the past two days.” Roxanne answered back.

Like a bolt of lightning, Gwen sat upright and gasped for air. Turning around Roxanne noticed Gwen was gulping for air. “Gwen, are you ok? What happened?” Roxanne questioned. When Gwen was able to speak again, she responded she wanted to know how she got there and if her mother knew where she was? “Your mother is here, but we have no idea who the grey-haired gentleman was that dropped you off.


“What did the man look like? Gwen asked. “Well, he was a tall man, grey hair and beard, slim, about 36 years old and handsome. He had a Navy tattoo on his forearm and I noticed that he had a scar on his forehead oh, and he was wearing a wedding band.” answered Roxanne as she took Gwen’s blood pressure.

“Oh my gosh, you have just described my father to a tee!” stated Gwen.
“So, what’s wrong with that?” Roxanne queried. “My father died on the 12th of March of this year.” stated Gwen. Goose bumps arose on both Roxanne and Gwen and the hair on the back of their necks , stood up. Glancing at each other, Gwen smiled and said “My daddy is watching over me still.” With tears running down her face, she smiled and said, “Thanks Daddy. I love you!”

Gwen was able to come home the next day and miraculously, there were no injuries from the accident. Just memories! The sun shined and the sky was clear that Saturday afternoon when Gwen took down the snow shoes from the wall along with the snow shovel. Closing the door behind her, Gwen began her walk to the area where she had been previously buried and began digging.

Minutes went by like seconds as Gwen dug through the heavy snow, throwing shovel full after another over her shoulder until she saw the front of the snowmobile sticking out. Digging the remainder of the snowmobile out of the gigantic snow drift took most of the day when Gwen noticed that it was starting to get dark. Tugging on the rope, Gwen brought the snowmobile back to life and gunned the engine to get the toboggan out also. After several tries, she was able to remove the toboggan from it’s resting place as well.

Smiling, Gwen noticed that the groceries were still in their crates which was attached to the toboggan. Looking back down in the hole where she had been a prisoner, she realized the serious depth and shivered before returning to the snowmobile. Gunning the engine, Gwen quickly delivered the groceries and apologized for being so late.

After returning home, Gwen’s attitude around the house changed dramatically. She began helping her mother around the house, her outlook on life was changed forever and her future looked brighter. Watching the beautiful sun setting on the horizon, Gwen smiled one more time before whispering “Thanks Daddy, I won’t let you down, I won’t ever quit, I promise!”



The End!