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 Each day is new; my recollection of the previous day is minimal. I’m learning to adapt. |
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Following a severe seizure, an MRI revealed a tumor the size of a lime in my brain. September 2019 is when this occurred. Situated one inch left and seven degrees from the center of my brain, the tumor touched the hippocampus. The part of the brain that handles language and memory. When someone wants to know how I am doing? My reply is, “Seven Degrees Left of Center”. |
| One of my recent writing challenges is the feeling of being a fraud. Everything I write reads like something I have read before. Though the thoughts are mine, the words seem ... copied. Even in the books I read, I find similarities in scene descriptions. Is this just a stage in learning how to write? By noticing these similarities, I'm learning more about the craft. This has become frustrating. How to tell my story, my why, yet using the same dictionary of words as everyone else. |
| This past week, I experienced change up close. My granddaughter graduated from High School. She doesn't know what is coming. Change. Gone are the daily rituals of preparing for school with the aid of a parent. Gone are the highly monitored rules of public schools. No, now, she will enter the world of self-management, a time when the simple choices of whether to eat breakfast or wear clean clothes are private, personal choices. I think she is well ready. She has already shown tenacity and independence. I look forward to seeing what she chooses to do in the future. I wish her well and send my love for a bright future. |
| Once again, I am starting a day with a near-blank slate. Yesterday had faded into that gap in my brain where things disappear. I haven't been writing for the past week or so, and it is starting to show. What I am working on is not so much the fading past as the bright future. The future has important moments, and the present is the precious moments. These are things I have had to relearn. I have spent too much time on the past or trying to recover the past, and I have missed out on some of the present. Take it from me: Learn to appreciate the present and look forward to the future. There is little to nothing to gain from dwelling on the past. |
| I took a week off because I had a problem with follow-through. The words stopped flowing. Some people may call it writer's block or a form of burnout, but it is something else. The story lost its flow. The words couldn't find the follow-through they needed to move the text forward. So, I put everything down for a few days to allow my brain to refresh. I will go back to work this week. The juices are flowing again. We often say keep writing. I wholeheartedly believe in that, but it is also okay to step back and take a break. Recharge, regenerate, and then follow through with energy. |
| Do you ever have trouble reading your work? If there is one truth about me, I am not an editor. When I reread my work, I wondered if the person who wrote it knew English or how to type. The first draft is so raw that it is almost impossible to read. That is why it is called a process. Most things make the second draft. If they make a third draft, I might be onto something. That is when the "want-to" kicks in. Do I really want to be a writer? The answer is yes; the process is part of the deal. Never give up on the process. Keep writing and reviewing and rewriting and reviewing until you are happy with something. Whether it is shared or published isn't important yet. I do say yet. Stay with the process, and the rest will eventually line up. Keep on writing! |
| What have you done for yourself yesterday? It is so easy to get caught up in doing things for other people. Did you do anything for yourself? Take a moment to hug yourself. Then, take a few deep breaths to get some oxygen. We all have things we have to do. Once those things are done, enjoy the time you have to do what you want. Self-care is healthcare. |
| As a teenager, I started writing Syfy but didn't finish it. Then, real life started. Things happened, getting in the way of daily writing practices. The next I knew, but didn't, that writing had ended up by the wayside. Now I have the time to write, but I miss the practice. It is like going to school again. The stories are there but mottled together. The brain injury doesn't help, but it does make me more persistent. So, if you are struggling to get the words out of your head, know you are not alone. Just keep writing! |
| This week has been all about crap. Writing isn't perfect on the first pass. Some people can self-edit in their heads while typing at the same time. Then there are others, like me, that write crap for hours and then spend days going through the editing process. Here is a thumbs up  to the crap writers that stay the course. Write on! |
| The next greatest gift to independent thought is writing those thoughts down. The hardest thing about writing thoughts down is not watching the errors grow on screen, at least in my experience. I get caught up in the errors, and I lose my thoughts because a misspelled word trips the process. I can't help but look at the screen as the letters appear. Then, my brain can't move past the errors to the end. I am forcing myself not to look at the screen to get these thoughts out of my brain and onto the screen before editing. Oops, I looked! Crap, now I lost my thoughts and have to fix errors. I'll be right back ... I may need to use an older text editor that doesn't catch mistakes. How about copying and pasting for corrections? Do you have any suggestions? |
| There are some days I am terrified of writing, including this blog, though the end result is okay, I guess. In the past five years, I have relearned reading, writing, and arithmetic, along with many other things. However, I still haven't learned how to cook. Maybe that will be the next breakthrough. Back to the topic -- being afraid to write. To write is to expose oneself, and that is scary. Even if you do not share what you are writing with others, you are sharing thoughts, dreams, and maybe nightmares with yourself. I say sure. I am scared  , and I have been scared for the past few years. Yet, the fear is starting to pass. The keyboard and my fingers are becoming friends again. Most importantly, I am writing, even if it is just for me. |
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Are you taking fish oil? It’s supposed to help the brain.
), I also have a brain injury, so I had completely forgotten about your blog. 
I'm SUPER glad you tagged me or I might never have read another post again. 
So, definitely use that thing that asks if you want to announce that you added a blog post. It will prompt me to read it. 
