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Logocentric (adj). Regarding words and language as a fundamental expression of an external reality (especially applied as a negative term to traditional Western thought by postmodernist critics). Sometimes I just write whatever I feel like. Other times I respond to prompts, many taken from the following places:  "The Soundtrackers Group"  "Blogging Circle of Friends " "Blog City ~ Every Blogger's Paradise" "JAFBG" "Take up Your Cross" Thanks for stopping by!  |
Ooh, this is a great prompt. I'm also a little conflicted because I think - for me - I would choose different years depending on whether reliving that year was purely an exercise is going through the same experiences all over again, or if it was an opportunity to change things that would then have downstream effects back in the present day. If there aren't any downstream effects, is it an opportunity to do things differently just for that one year? Hmm ... you know what? I'm going to answer all three!  If I could relive one year of my life and it was purely an exercise in experiencing that year all over again, I think I would choose 1999-2000; my senior year in high school. There were so many great moments that year ... I finally felt like I was growing more confident in who I was as a person and I had a solid friend group, I finally got over a girl I had been pining over since middle school and started enjoying life (like school dances) with friends ... I discovered my passion for filmmaking through school projects where I got to make short films for the first time ... as cliche as it is to say, I'd go back to high school because I remember that as a really fun, carefree time in my life. It'd be fun to go back to that time for a bit. If I could relive one year of my life and it was a chance to live just that one year differently, I would definitely choose 2020. Even though it was during the pandemic and during the uncertain time when we were fostering the kids, and I don't love the idea of reliving either of those things, that's also the one year of overlap between us starting to foster our kids and my mom being around before she passed away. We ended up staying home and sheltering in place in our tiny little apartment because we had no idea how long the pandemic would last; we only saw my parents in person a couple of times that year, and we weren't able to be there with her when she passed. If I could live that year again and change something, I would have absolutely moved our family home so we could have all spent that last year together. I would have loved to have spent more time with my mom, given my kids more time with her, and lived somewhere that wasn't a cramped apartment for an entire year. If I could relive one year of my life and it was a chance to change the downstream course of my life, this is where it gets tricky because I love my life. I'm not sure I'd want to actively change it as much as just get a glimpse of what would be different if I had lived my life differently. Most of these are probably career related. In 2004, I was working in the financial services industry and got my first job in the entertainment industry. What if I had stayed working in financial services? In 2005, I was up for a job at Marvel but didn't get it (and it wasn't until 2016 that I made my way there through a different job); what would have happened if I had been at the company a decade earlier? In 2018, I left Marvel for another ill-fated job; what if I had stayed? In 2022, I was offered a job at Apple but I turned it down to stay at Marvel; what if I hadn't? I have a lot of "what ifs" about career choices I've made over the years. Not so many about the rest of my life, which I think turned out pretty good, all things considered. |
It's totally fitting that the Blog City prompt about procrastination is one that I left in my inbox for almost a week before getting around to writing an entry about it... I hear a lot of people say that procrastination causes them to not get anything done, and I don't think that's the case. Procrastination, to me, is the end result of some other causation, rather than an actual casual factor on its own. For example, I've procrastinated on going to the gym and losing weight, but procrastination isn't what caused my lack of progress; the procrastination and lack of progress was the result of multiple casual factors including exhaustion, over-scheduling, insufficient motivation, etc. People procrastinate for all kinds of reasons, but I think the most common ones - at least for me - are laziness, fear of failure, and poor time management and/or lack of preparation. Poor time management and/or lack of preparation is probably the most common reason why I procrastinate. I've been meaning to clean out the garage for months, but that means I have to buy a bunch of boxes and bins, I have to spend hours sorting things out, make a bunch of trips to the dump and donation sites, etc. The fact that there are multiple steps and I have to do something first in order to prepare to do the thing I actually need to do is a huge cause of procrastination. Same with other home improvement tasks like hanging pictures, repairing a small gouge in the drywall, repainting, getting a new bookcase that needs to be assembled, etc. ... if there are intermediary steps, there's a good chance I'll procrastinate until I can devote time to getting the whole thing done all at once, even though my brain knows that smaller incremental steps are possible. Of course, sometimes I'm just lazy. It's been a long week and I don't want to do the dishes right now, so I let them pile up in the sink a bit. Or I could be getting the Christmas decorations down but I'm at a really good part in my current book, so I don't want to get them right this second. A lot of procrastination is the result of times when, if I'm really being honest with myself, I just don't feel like being particular productive. And while that can certainly be a problem if the procrastination is getting to the point where it's causing problems or nothing is ever getting done, that's one thing ... but I'm also realizing as I get older that adulthood is just one never-ending to-do list, and I also think it's okay to not pack every single moment of every single day full of productivity goals. Lastly, the most insidious cause of procrastination for me, if I'm really being honest with myself, is a fear of failure. It's why I haven't written anything substantive (more than a short story, or a poem, or an essay here or there) in years. I'm afraid that the thing I write won't be very good, so I put off actually starting. Heck, I've probably put off exercising and losing eight because a part of be is afraid that I'll put in all that time and effort and I won't be happy with the results. I'm the kind of person who is used to being "pretty good" at most things, so the idea of taking something on where there's a very real possibility of failure because it's outside my comfort zone can be a leading cause of procrastination ... especially when it's paired with the "poor time management and/or lack of preparation" thing I wrote about above. It's easy to convince myself that instead of actually writing, I first need to do more prep: more research, more outlining, more listening to interviews with other writers about their process, etc. It's easy to convince myself that instead of actually going to the gym, I first need some things first: new workout clothes, a better playlist to listen to, more research about what kinds of exercises I should be focusing on. The two things I really need to stop procrastinating about are my writing and my health. I'm really hoping that I can buckle down and make some progress on both in 2025. |
To qualify for my Watch List every month, the following has to be something that I've watched that's new to me. It doesn't necessarily have to be a current show, but it can't be reruns or rewatches of something I've already seen. So if I'm including it in this list, it means this month is the first time I've watched it. I'll put "DNF" (Did Not Finish) next to anything that I stopped watching and have no immediate plans to finish. Movies  Bad Boys: Ride or Die Canary Black Dirty Harry The Hateful Eight My Old Ass Transformers One WolfsMy favorite movie this month was probably either My Old Ass or Wolfs, both of which were pretty entertaining. Aubrey Plaza was great in the former, and it was a fun take on a coming of age movie, and for the latter, it's always fun to see Brad Pitt and George Clooney in a movie together where you can just tell they're having fun. And the premise of two different fixers showing up to help get rid of a dead body was a fun premise. Transformers One was also a lot of fun and probably the best Transformers movie since the old animated one from the 1980s. The rest of the movies, though, were just kind of blah. Bad Boys: Ride or Die continued the trend of the movies in that franchise getting progressively worse, and Canary Black was an entirely forgettable spy thriller that didn't have a single story beat that hasn't been done a thousand times. Dirty Harry was incredibly dated at this point, although I can understand why it was so popular in the 1970s when it came out. And I'm finally getting around to watching Quentin Tarantino's most recent movies. I actually worked on this one back in the day but never watched the final cut. It was okay except for - like so many of Tarantino's movies - being way too long and self-indulgent. Television Agatha All Along The Day of the Jackal (Season 1) Formula One: Drive to Survive (Season 1) The Old Man (Season 2) Only Murders in the Building (Season 3) What If...? (Season 2)With the exception of the second season of The Old Man (which is really slow), I really enjoyed all the other shows I watched this month. Agatha All Along was super fun, and I finally got around to watching What If...? (Season 2) in preparation for the next season; I'm now officially caught up on all the shows I've worked on at Marvel. Only Murders in the Building (Season 3) was pretty good, but I think the first and second seasons were way better and this one felt like the premise was getting stretched a bit.My favorite for most of the month was The Day of the Jackal (Season 1), which is a really great remake of the prior movies (and the book they were based on). I've really been enjoying it and was ready to put it as my top pick of the month ... but then I watched Formula One: Drive to Survive and got absolutely hooked. It's a Netflix docuseries where each season follows one year in the Formula One season, complete with interviews with the drivers, team principals, journalists, etc. It's a great introduction into the sport and I'm definitely hooked on both this show and the sport in general now. So much goes into Formula One and I find it all fascinating. Highly recommended for anyone who likes sports docuseries. TOP PICK: Formula One: Drive to Survive (Season 1) RUNNER-UP: The Day of the Jackal (Season 1) |
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