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 |    My primary Writing.com blog. |
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Logocentric (adj). Regarding words and language as a fundamental expression of an external reality (especially applied as a negative term to traditional Western thought by postmodernist critics). Sometimes I just write whatever I feel like. Other times I respond to prompts, many taken from the following places:  "The Soundtrackers Group"  "Invalid Item" "Blogging Circle of Friends " "Blog City ~ Every Blogger's Paradise" "JAFBG" "Take up Your Cross" Thanks for stopping by!  |
(302 words) "Invalid Item" | March Musical Monkey Madness Day #9Prompt ▼ Were The Muse and Andre a one-hit wonders in the sense that they only had one song and one tour together as an actual performing act? Technically, that's correct. But that's not to say that The Muse and Andre stopped being collaborators. After all, you can't call a concept album an "odyssey" without putting in an enormous amount of work, and Andre frequently relies on the creative efforts of The Muse as he puts his magnum opus together. In that way, they're a lot like Lin-Manuel Miranda and Alex Lacamoire. Aaron Sorkin and Thomas Schlamme. Steven Spielberg and John Williams. Gwyneth Paltrow and Huey Lewis. It's an open question (albeit among very few) whether additional collaborations between The Muse and Andre would have catapulted them into the mainstream. Both are staggeringly talented musicians, but were perhaps ahead of their time. Christian metal and folk metal hadn't really been combined before (or since), and when you throw in their mutual love and incorporation of K-pop... well, the overlap on the Venn Diagram for that one is pretty teeny tiny. Still, Andre is undeterred in his mission to bring Breakdancing My Way Through The Bible: A Folk Metal Odyssey to the public. He continues to work on it in his off hours from the Banana Bar, and frequently finds himself running ideas by The Muse. These days, the two of them mostly collaborate via a private Discord server that was set up for them by a Banana Bar patron who couldn't settle out his tab one night. They've been using it ever since, both because The Muse is currently on his South Pacific Island Nation tour, and because neither of them can figure out how to Skype or Zoom. Plus, both of them agree that the Tenor GIF keyboard is far superior to Giphy. |
(367 words) "Invalid Item" | March Musical Monkey Madness Day #8Prompt ▼ After modest success on local radio stations, Andre and The Muse's record label decided it was time for the big leagues and set them up on a world tour. Okay, maybe not the "big leagues" (Los Angeles and New York and Chicago are expensive!), but definitely the concert world equivalent of a minor league Triple-A affiliate. Okay, maybe more like the double-A farm system. Their United States tour included stops at the finest dive bars, public amphitheaters, and empty warehouse spaces the following cities had to offer:  Calexico, CA / Mexicali, MX* Yuma, AZ Las Cruces, NM Kileen, TX Texarkana, TX Murfreesboro, TN Sandusky, OH Flint, MI Fort Dodge, IA Bismarck, ND Bozeman, MT Laramie, WY Vernal, UT Winnemucca, NV Bend, OR Redding, CAThe record label was a little tight on funds, so The Muse and Andre often had to sleep on the tour bus (which was actually the label president's rusted-out 1987 Ford Econoline 150 Camper) and found themselves having to work to earn their meals. "Corporate events with coordinators who couldn't care less" and "weddings that had lost their DJ at the last minute" were their real bread-and-butter during this tour. Sometimes quite literally, because they found themselves often subsisting on leftover table bread and pats of butter. The world tour being a "big success" was somewhat of an exaggeration on the part of the label to hype up their two biggest performing artists at the time. Still, if you consider the fact that they started the tour with zero albums sold and ended the tour with... checks notes.... fourteen albums sold, then it was quite a success. * The opening set of this show was held in the parking lot of the Jack in the Box on Rockwood Avenue between 1st and 2nd Streets, with the second set following from the dining room of "FLAUTAS Mi Nuevo Ranchito" off Calle Agustin Melgar. Some people accused the label of pulling a stunt just so they could say it was a "world tour" spanning multiple countries. (Those people were Andre and The Muse.) (They also happened to be correct.) |
(317 words) "Invalid Item" | March Musical Monkey Madness Day #7Prompt ▼ NOTE: This song is set to something along the lines of the first song ("Siegfried's Song" - 00:00 to 02:53) Andre and The Muse's first hit song together ended up also being their first foray into Christian Folk Metal. The Muse, well known bad boy of the Christian music scene, joined forces with Andre and his folk metal roots to come up with the following song: (rasping, wailing vocals) Jeeesussss King of Kings Son of the Living God Alpha and Omega Jeeesussss Come have your way with me Help me to really see What is now and what will be Oh pretty, pretty plea(se) (rasping, wailing vocals) Jeeesussss Fountain of Living Waters True Vine Lamb of God Jeeesussss (fading out) The Way The Truth The Life The lyrics are short, of course, but intended to be repeated over and over again for nine and a half minutes straight. The success of this track is what ended up inspiring Andre to develop his Breakdancing My Way Through The Bible: A Folk Metal Odyssey in a similar fashion where, if played straight through and only once, the concept album is done in about twenty minutes. But, out of respect for his fans, and to bring resonance and gravitas to the material, the repetition of the lyrics has BMWTTB:AFMO currently at a run-time of nearly eight hours. While Andre admits that this will likely be problematic from the standpoint of booking venues and playing enough shows to offset the cost to stage everything, he has to give the source material its due, and obviously if one is to do a K-pop-inspired folk metal magnum opus on the glory of God structured in parallel with the Holy Bible, one best come prepared to wrestle with it for a while. Bathroom breaks during the show are highly discouraged, so please don't bring any beverages into the theater... for your own sake. |
(305 words) "Invalid Item" | March Musical Monkey Madness Day #6Prompt ▼ Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes. Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton. Brandy and Monica. Jay-Z and Alicia Keys. Beyonce and Lady Gaga. Everybody knows that, as a musical artist, what you can accomplish on your own can often pale in comparison to what you can accomplish with another talented performer. Since the beginning of the modern recording industry, duets and musical collaborations have become hit songs, breakthrough concept albums, and ways to create exciting new sounds for audiences to enjoy. Which is not to say that the collaboration between Andre and the mercurial artist known professionally as "The Muse" was purely about public exposure or money, even if it was mostly about those things. Andre's portative organ playing was renowned in the world of folk metal, but he had very little exposure to mainstream rock. And The Muse was looking for a new sound to supplement the guitar-bass-keyboard-drums quartet that's been so popular among rock bands for years. It all started late one night when The Muse finished a set early and decided to wander the streets in search of some late-night life. He was walking by the Banana Bar when he heard the haunting sounds of a portative organ doing a rendition of Van Halen's "Panama." He wandered into the bar and the rest, as they say, is history. The Muse invited Andre up to his hotel suite to discuss a potential collaboration. After spending the night in a booze-and-narcotics-infused creative frenzy, they awoke to a trashed hotel room, a ten thousand dollar room service bill, a basically finished song, and two-thirds of the first act of Breakdancing My Way Through The Bible sketched out. They also woke up in a completely drained jacuzzi tub wearing each other's clothes, with no memory of what led to that. And they've been working together off-and-on ever since. |
(315 words) "Invalid Item" | March Musical Monkey Madness Day #5Prompt ▼ Andre is as susceptible as anyone else to getting earworms (the songs that get stuck in your head, not those gross things that cats sometimes have to get medication for). The tune du jour changes from time to time, but the one he's currently been stuck with for the past few months has been "We Don't Talk About Bruno" from the Encanto soundtrack. Which isn't surprising, really, as that's a very popular song among kids and their parents right now. However, Andre was never one for following the status quo, and he does have a background in folk metal to consider, so he's instead opted to have a heavy metal cover of the song by Skar Productions featuring Alina Lesnick: Obviously Lin-Manuel Miranda's lyrics are genius, but for those of you who find the Disney version a little too tame, or have ever thought to yourself, "This song from a family-friendly musical would be way better with someone absolutely shredding a bass," then this might be the right choice for you. Love kids' songs but don't want to be caught dead blasting them from your car stereo at a stop sign without some sick speed drumming? Maybe consider this version of the song. This is exactly the song that Andre needs to get into the mental headspace necessary to work on his Christian K-pop folk metal passion project. Just a couple quick versions and guitar riffs are enough to get the creative juices flowing. He's even considered inviting Skar Productions (and Lin-Manuel Miranda, obvi) to collaborate on a couple of the tracks. But even if it's a no from them, he'll always have this sensational match-up to lift his spirits. Andre can't see himself replacing this song with another earworm anytime soon, although he might be tempting fate by listening to a number of different grindcore covers of Eddie Money's "Take Me Home Tonight." |
(348 words) "Invalid Item" | March Musical Monkey Madness Day #4Prompt ▼ Andre's initially studied under Terence Fletcher from the prestigious Shaffer Conservatory. While most people avoided Fletcher after his abusive methods were laid bare with his treatment of Andrew Neiman, Andre's parents thought to themselves, "Well there's a guy who knows how to push others to achieve greatness." They immediately enrolled a young Andre in the music program at Shaffer and specifically requested Fletcher mentor their son in the ways of the portative organ. Fletcher, of course, was more than happy to find a new student with nearly as much promise as Andrew. Fletcher worked with Andre and it was an environment brimming with positive energy, creativity, and mutual respect. On graduation day, Fletcher pulled Andre aside and offered his favorite pupil some kind words of encouragement as the collegiate chimp was about to embark out into the professional world. For better or worse (mostly worse), Fletcher made Andre the monkey he is today. Both in terms of his musical ability and his psychiatric bills. Andre also studied under other great organists like Steve Winwood and Booker T. Jones, but he doesn't really like to talk about that out of respect for their privacy and fear of breaching their NDAs. After a youth spent studying under some of the finest organists and music teachers, he was ready to strike out on his own. Just a monkey and his portative organ in the city. Andre spent two years playing the finest subway stations and park benches the Big Apple had to offer. And, ultimately, it was those two years of living on spare change and old bananas that taught him more than anything. He honed his craft and sustained himself on nothing but his love for music and reclaimed bananas from the dumpster behind the Whole Foods at 7th and 24th in Chelsea. Whenever people ask Andre which musical greats taught him the ropes (or pipes, at the case may be), he will often say Fletcher. Or Steve. Or Booker. But in his heart of hearts, his greatest teacher will always be The City That Never Sleeps. |
(350 words) "Invalid Item" | March Musical Monkey Madness Day #3Prompt ▼ During the first of Andre's two appearances as one of the musical guests on Saturday Night Live, he really hit it off with Ariana Grande who was hosting that night's show and for whom he was performing backing vocals (and backing portative organ-ing, of course). After the show, they split a half-dozen donuts from the 24-hour Dunkin' in Rockefeller Center. While Andre was a little miffed at only having half a French Cruller to himself before the svelte songstress scarfed the rest of them, he had to admit that the idea of a collaboration appealed to him. The plan was to debut their new song at Yankee Stadium during the home season opener of the MLB season. Unfortunately, while Andre was riding the M train to the stadium, a portly passenger parked himself on top of Andre's portative organ and pancaked it to pieces. And unlike guitars or keyboards, you can't find them at just any music shop. Desperate times called for desperate measures, and the only place Andre could find a viable replacement was at Holy Mother of God Church down the street from the stadium. In a panic, Andre broke into the church sanctuary, disassembled their organ piece by piece, and transported it to the stadium where he erected it again on the infield where he was to perform with Ariana. Was he four hours late to rehearsal? Yes. Was the game postponed on account of instrumental interference with play? Also yes. Andre was arrested for trespassing, grand theft pipes, and organ trafficking (although he's pretty sure that last one was a misapplication of the penal code). Needless to say, he was fired from the gig and Ariana Grande had to distance herself from him for P.R. reasons. While all that was to be expected, he had to admit that it hurt a little when he discovered he had been replaced by Curious George doing a soft-shoe number to accompany her singing "34+35." Anyway, that's the story of the one time Andre was fired. And why he has an irrational loathing for The Man In The Yellow Hat. |
(430 words) "Invalid Item" | March Musical Monkey Madness Bonus PromptPrompt ▼ I wake up with a pounding headache thanks to the hot afternoon sunlight blaring down on me. Where am I? It appears to be some sort of back alley. Why does it stink? I'm in a dumpster. Thankfully it's mostly empty. Why am I cold? I appear to be wearing nothing but a sombrero. Getting to my feet, I crawl out of the dumpster and strategically move the sombrero south of the border to offer a modicum of decency. Peeking out at the busy street beyond the alley, I noticed the street sign. Avenida Benito Juarez ... HOW DID I GET TO MEXICO?!? Last I can remember, we were all at the Banana Bar celebrating Adherennium Dr of Phoolishness's birthday. Andre had given him an extraordinary gift in promising to name a major character after him in his magnum opus . The drinks flowed like a river (as did Andre's portative organ melodies), and everyone was in good spirits. At least until ... well, things get pretty fuzzy after that. I borrowed a phone off a nearby tourist who took pity on me with a "been there" look, and called up Andre at the Banana Bar. I had so many questions. "Andre?" the person on the other end of the phone asked. "No, I'm looking for Andre," I reacted in surprise. Andre was always at the Banana Bar. "H-He... he's missing," the voice on the other end of the line stammered. "I thought you might be him calling to tell us he's okay." "When was the last time you saw Andre?" "The night of Adherennium Dr of Phoolishness's birthday party. On the 3rd." "Wasn't that last night?" "That was four days ago." WHAT HAPPENED TO THE PAST FOUR DAYS?!? "I see..." I began, not really knowing how to finish that thought because I didn't. "Andre and a bunch of friends made a particularly strong batch of Rumchata Banana Cream Pie cocktails and, well, it kind of went downhill from there." I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. Those damned drinks. Every single time I tell myself it's the last time I'll ever drink one of those infernal drinks ... and every time someone (usually Andre) talks me into trying it again. On the plus side, if Rumchata Banana Cream Pies were involved, waking up naked in Mexico four days later would be considered by many to be getting off light in the consequences department. Now I just have to figure out how to get home. And how to find Andre. |
(342 words) "Invalid Item" | March Musical Monkey Madness Day #2Prompt ▼ While Andre is a true renaissance monkey when it comes to musical genres, where he and his portative organ really shine are in the up and coming Christian folk metal scene. Everyone knows that folk metal has been around since at least the 1990s, and Christian metal goes even further back into the 1970s. But Christian folk metal is relatively new, tailor-made for audiences who say to themselves, "Sure, Korpiklaani is great, but would they be even better if they sang about Jesus?" It's like Heidevolk meets the Holy Spirit, Geasa inspired by the Gospel ... a faith-based Finntroll!   All that said, Andre's favorite artist is obviously BTS. Obviously, he could point to any number of reasons why BTS is his favorite artist right now: J-Hope's sweet dance moves, V's  Insta, or even Jungkook for the sheer number of internet trends he's created. But what it really comes down to, more than anything, is that Andre respects their truth and sees himself on parallel journey. Just like BTS, he strives to make his portative organ playing "smooth like butter." Just like BTS, every performance is an exercise in, "light[ing] it up like dynamite (whoa oh oh)." And just like BTS, Andre gives off serious K-pop boy band energy everywhere he goes (seriously, the lady apes cannot get enough of this guy)! One day, Andre hopes to marry his two passions and create something in the Christian K-pop folk metal space. It's an ambitious project, to be sure, but after so many years as a successful performing artist, Andre is now content owning and operating the Banana Bar while he works on his magnum opus concept album. The work in progress is currently entitled Breakdancing My Way Through The Bible: A Folk Metal Odyssey and he hopes to debut it for the public some time in late 2022. If you're a regular of the Banana Bar, you might even be surprised by Andre testing out his new material with an occasional impromptu setlist! |
(417 words) "Invalid Item" | March Musical Monkey Madness Day #1Prompt ▼ My very first visit to the Banana Bar was also the first time I experienced Andre's brilliant musical stylings. As a talent scout for a number of popular late-night shows, my job is to find new acts to perform live on the shows. I've been doing this job a long time, and I had grown tired of yet another singer/songwriter strumming their guitar, or keying their keyboard. I had been longing for something new. Imagine my surprise when a pint-sized primate by the name of Andre took the stage with a portative organ ! I hadn't seen one of those since my time at Julie Ard [sic], and my jaw hit the floor while I marveled at the dulcet tones that this soulful simian was able to produce. I knew immediately that I had to book him on one of my shows. Probably not any of the actually popular ones, but definitely something of the "Late Late Late Late Night" variety, the kinds that battle with informercials for the attention of insomniacs at two in the morning. That first introduction was a long time ago, though. Years before Andre bought the Banana Bar. Back when he was just a musical monkey with a dream trying to make a name for himself. Andre and I got to know each other over the years as he worked his way up from Late Late Late Late shows to the Late Late Late shows to the Late Late shows to the "big league" Late shows. I learned that his first love was the actual (non-portative) organ, but those prove very difficult to transport on road tours and gigs around town, so he opted for a more transportable version. I learned that he's played with a number of other recognized performers in the "portative" space, including Umberto (master of the miniature upright bass), Bartholomew Bartovsky (the world's premiere player of the baby contrabass balalaika), and Hamish Hazelton (celebrated virtuoso of the dwarf hydrophone). He's also rather proud of that one time he ended up doing an unintentional duet of "Endless Love" with Sting while they were both standing in line at Pink's Hot Dogs in Los Angeles. |
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