That's the truth! I always seem to find ways of putting myself right where there is possibility of exactly that, but somehow usually manage to stay safe and unharmed. Someone greater than me is looking out for me, of that I am certain.
Hey, My heart goes out to you. I can relate. I'm Bipolar also. They diagnosed me as manic-depressive years ago, but it still took years for a diagnosis. I'm doing much better these days, but still have my highs and lows. The combination of Lexapro and Abilify has been the greatest help. I've tried a lot of different medication combos, and I have to say that just adding Abilify has helped me greatly!
My furbabies are everything to me. They're always near. I have two terrier-mix little girls. I wouldn't even want to think of what life would be like without them. They may be dogs, but they're good for hugs, cuddling, and talking to. They've been with me through thick and thin. You're so right, they are definitely perceptive. They know when you need extra attention, and they know when to keep an eye out for you. They are definitely a blessing from God.
If you ever need to talk or just rant, feel free to write me. I hope you're feeling better.
LeJenD, you're not by yourself. I've battled depression in cycles throughout my life so far. I think in some ways, it's hereditary. As an adult, I have become convinced, that my Mom had undiagnosed Bipolar Disorder. When she was feeling "good," she'd take my brother and me to "the big town" to play all day. When she was feeling "bad," I had my hands full counseling her for hours. Who knew that wasn't a teenager's job?
Poetry has become such a balm for my soul. The depression is still there, but it seems to bring some level of relief when I put my feelings down in a poem. Amazingly enough, some of my best poetry has been written when I was depressed. The Lord has graciously given me the gift of poetry.
BTW, dogs are quite perceptive animals. Mine is lying on the floor near me as I write. I think she's a gift from God, too.
Today is the first day since my grandmother passed away on the 8th that I haven't been kept busy with work. What does that mean? I finally have all the time in the day to dwell on my loss and nothing to keep my mind off it. I loved my grandmother dearly. We watched "I Love Lucy" and countless classic movies together. She is the person responsible for introducing me to Shirley Temple movies and the like. I don't know if I can watch any of those old movies any more without crying. That's what I have been doing in my free time since the 8th, crying. I know this is affecting my mom even more and it pains me that I cannot be there to comfort her. My only balm is that my grandma lived a long, full, happy life. She would have seen her 94th birthday this August, but her mortal coil just couldn't keep going anymore. She fought death off as long as she could but in the end, even this stubborn feisty beauty had to give in. So my heart should be soothed, right? That now she's with the Lord? But is she? Do Atheists go to heaven if they were once Christians or decided to give their lives over to Christ at the very last minute? I don't know. I still feel her around me. I can still hear her sassing everyone. Maybe she isn't really dead in my heart and mind. But it still hurts and the loss is real. Now, it's just one day at a time. One minute at a time. Goodness! I loved that woman!
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