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 |   Reflections and ruminations from a modern day Alice - Life is Wonderland |
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Reflections and ruminations from a modern day Alice - Life is Wonderland  Welcome to the place were I chronicle my own falls down dark holes and adventures chasing white rabbits! Come on In, Take a Bite, You Never Know What You May Find... "Curiouser and curiouser." Alice in Wonderland    |
| "Blog City ~ Every Blogger's Paradise" DAY 2506-- February 28, 2022 Prompt:“The fear that all this will end.The fear that it won’t.” Rae Armantrout In your opinion, what are things or behaviors that won’t end in this world? I wish I was in a better mindset this morning. I think that my entry is going to come across overwhelmingly negative if my dark mood affects my words like I fear it will. This weekend we learned that for the first time in two years, the schools were lifting the mask mandates, meaning masks would no longer be enforced in the classrooms and on the buses. It has been a long time coming. We have after all, paid our dues. My daughter is vaccinated and has diligently worn a mask in public all this time. I thought, having learned the news of her mask emancipation, she'd have rejoiced. Instead, this morning, she donned the mask as usual - even taking some backup masks for her bag. When I reminded her she didn't need to wear one, she insisted that she was "fine with it". I hadn't wanted to pressure her but it unset me in a very fundamental way. I realized sadly, that my daughter has been conditioned, either by fear of the virus or the simple habit of donning the masks for so long that she can not remember or appreciate the days when they were not mandated. Perhaps she fears another outbreak would bring back the dark days of remote learning? Perhaps she thinks it is what it is expected of good students now? Perhaps the mask has given my shy daughter, another layer to hide behind and it has become part of her? It is hard to know, maybe it is a little of all those things. I fear it will take longer to shed the masks now and that it will be on some level, some unfortunate "new normal" that becomes acceptable. I for one, am done with living in fear from one viral outbreak to the next. I'm tired of seeing people outside in the parks, wearing masks or driving alone in their car, mask firmly in place. I'm tired of business that tell me I need to wear a mask to enter now, after the mandates have been lifted. I'm upset that my grandmother, who is very hard of hearing, still has to struggle to hear the masked surgeon during her consultation and kept turning toward me for help. I'm done with seeing masks litter the roadside and discarded masks in parking lots everywhere. It may be an unpopular opinion, by in my opinion, I'm done with masking for those of us who have done the vaccines and boosters. I fear there are sectors of the population who will always deem masks as necessary and welcome those same rolling mandates to return with every new iteration of covid or the like. "Blogging Circle of Friends " Day 3399: February 28, 2022 Prompt: Environmental: “But Man is a part of Nature, and his war against nature is inevitably a war against himself.” — Rachel Carson: Use this quote to inspire your blog entry. There is so much about this prompt that triggers me this morning... We have done immeasurable harm to our planet and precious little to quell those abuses despite our advanced intelligence and technologies. It is the ultimate definition of being short-sighted. We continue to over harvest and pollute our resources without devoting enough efforts to alternative energy resources, plant-based alternatives and conservation. It is hard to even educate oneself because wading into this planet's environmental woes leaves one feeling desolate and overwhelmed. Floating oceanic trash heaps, rapid deforestation, the increasing footprint of human occupation across wide, previously undeveloped locations all around the globe -- are all flashing, red light warnings that should be heeded with much more concern than our future generations have for them. There have been enough movies and series about humans tipping the Earth past its tipping point and paying the price. I've never been a fan of those apocalyptic disaster films in part because at the root of the plot, it a moral that this planet is fragile and can only take so much before it revolts, before it breaks in some irreversible way. I recently started watching the new SnowPiercer series on HBO. The premise is that in an effort to combat a global pandemic, scientist fired some compound into the atmosphere that triggered a new ice age. As a result, the remaining human race is forced to perpetually circumnavigate the globe on massive train called SnowPiercer, until the Earth thaws enough to allow re-population to occur. While I appreciate the unique concept, I found the back story unnerving and uncomfortable. Flashbacks in later episodes featured frightened, masked citizens trying to come to terms with their planet essentially shutting down around them. There was desperation and fear, shame and guilt. Could a scenario like this ever happen? One can almost reason that yes, it seems entirely probable that one bad decision could be the one that finally brings the Earth to the brink. Our family vacations every summer in the outer cape. The pristine landscape of the coastal forests and massive dunes always brings my heart back to center. It would be heartbreaking to see trash littering those wide beaches or floating just offshore where we have watched passing mobs of seals or witnesses the occasional whale spout on the horizon. |
| "Blog City ~ Every Blogger's Paradise" Day 2495 February 17, 2022 Prompt: Share a list of activities that put you in a good mood This prompt is a delight today because I was just making a mental list of my personal "mood boosters" the other night, somewhat randomly, as I tried to rally through these last weeks of winter. I found my list was substantial but rather short... Writing something that I believe is good...improves my mood most significantly. When something comes easily, flowing naturally from me it brings me a sense of peace that is really unrivaled. It anchors me when I am feeling unmoored. It gives me confidence when my confidence is shaken. It gives me meaning when I am feeling lost and purposeless. A close second is reading a good book, either in bed under warm covers or in front of a fire or in extreme cases of emotional rescue...in a bubble bath. Spending time at the barn with my gelding. There is an uncanny connection I can find in his big, brown eyes. I find serenity in his soft nickers and the way he can just "hold space" with me. I typically put in some solid physical labor at the barn and I find that it makes me tired in a very contented way. I am always leaving the barn in better spirits than I arrived with. I found that during COVID and the long weeks working in isolation in my home...watching the birds brought me a lot of joy. I moved my work station to the window that overlooked my feeders in the backyard. The visiting wrens, cardinal and yellow finches were my constant company at a time when I needed to feel connected to the world in a new way. I still enjoy taking my breakfast with the birds before work. Those are the big ones then there is a host of others.... Music is something I use to improve my mood. I have wide and varied tastes. I play music at work, and while I cook. I've recently discovered true crime podcasts too. I am a novice when it comes to yoga but I find it to be a great mood booster for me. I enjoy coloring with my daughter and playing with our dogs. I have never been one plagued bouts with depression but when I feel the dip in my spirits, one of the methods above is a reliable way for me to kick the melancholy to the curb. "Blogging Circle of Friends " DAY 3388 February 17, 2022 “Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear.” —Franklin D. Roosevelt Do you agree or disagree with Mr. Roosevelt? Have you ever been in a situation that you were so frightened but found the courage to overcome? I have always been medically phobic. I have a strict, "don't warn me just do it" policy when it comes to medical procedures. I schedule and then cancel doctor's appointments on a regular basis. Three months ago my sister in law was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. She made me promise to keep up on my annuals and take care of myself. Seeing her go through chemo is horrific. It is heartbreaking and it is hard to wrap my mind around the courage it takes for her to put herself through that trauma for the chance to gain a year or two more of life. For her, life is more important that her fear...and she is fearful so very much of time I know. She is an inspiration to me in so many ways but none more than this. She sees a beautiful life beyond the sickness and for that, she will walk through hell. I don't know that I have will ever face anything even close to what she is dealing with but if I had too, I hope I have even a little bit of her bravery. |
| "Blog City ~ Every Blogger's Paradise" Day 2493--February 15, 2022 Prompt: Charles Darwin said: “A man who dares to waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life.” Then, someone else said, “You won’t have this Tuesday again. Make it count.” What do you say? I don't think I was completely and fully conscious of the passing of time until I had my daughter. These days, I seem to measure time in her development, in the passing of her milestones and in the rate at which she is growing into a woman before my eyes. Facebook, (are we still calling it that?) has this neat feature called timehop where from time to time, your old videos and images from the past will appear again in your feed. Now, after a yelling match with my soon to be teenager that morning, I can be treated to a old video of her heading off to her first day of preschool. The rolling eyes and shrugging shoulders are transposed by the sweet visage of my once upon a time toddler smiling up at me, those tiny hands wrapped around the straps of her stuffed turtle backpack. That memory feed is like tapping into the days we can never get back, the moments that fade like smoke as time rolls forward. Am I making all the Tuesdays count? Not likely. Isn't it human to not realize the value of what we have until its gone? Am I treasuring every moment, even the difficult ones? It is hard to remember to do that some days...some days I feel lucky just to get through a day without an argument or conflict. I used to want to slow time, to capture the moments so I could savor them, I could turn them around and around in my mind and feel everything for just a little while longer. Time moves faster when we are watching someone else. It feels that much more precious of a commodity in our lives. "Blogging Circle of Friends " Day 3386: February 15, 2022 Prompt: "The world belongs to the enthusiast who keeps cool." William McFee What do you think? I am not altogether sure what a "cool enthusiast" would look like it today's world. I just have the intrinsic knowledge that I am not one. I run hot about most things to begin with. I try, and fail, to be casual about a lot of things. I know people who seem to coast through life, maintaining a balanced existence that certainly makes it seem like they have the world at their fingertips. I am not one of those people. I am too type A, too uptight, to overly-concerned with things. I actually googled William McFee. If its the same writer, he is Canadian and favors stories about the sea. It does seem to make an odd bit of sense because those people I mentioned knowing...they happen to be boaters. I have to wonder if there is a connection to those that spend time on the sea and those who approach life with a measured patience? Something to ponder on... |
| Day 2492--February 14, 2022 Prompt: “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” Lao Tzu What are your opinions on the subject? Loving someone means letting down the walls and opening the doors that we so often hide behind. It means taking a risk with our hearts and that grows exponentially harder the more times we have been hurt. Courage begets courage, I suppose that is what Lao Tzu might mean. I believe it is always harder to love someone than to be loved by someone...at least that has always been the case for me. It may be the case that I have forever been pulled toward difficult loves, that they are loves shrouded by challenges, compromises and complications. My loves have always felt harder than they needed to be but they have shaped me, ultimately made me stronger and braver in the end. On the whole, I would have to agree with with Lao Tzu here. Blogging Circle of Friends Day 3385: February 14, 2022 Prompt: What is your favorite quote about love? Why is it your favorite? Who said it? "There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.” Friedrich Nietzsche I don't have many quotes on love in my repertoire. I supposed I lived a large swath of my life in a jaded landscape of difficult loves and as such, I tend to be less romantic than some. I like to think I am a realist when it comes to love and so the Nietzsche quote appeals to me a lot. Love so often feels like madness itself. It can turn you inside out. One minute you can be deliriously happy and the next, you can find yourself lost in hopelessness. Sometimes I think that love is made to take us on a unforgiving up/down journey I think, because without those lows, maybe we could never appreciate the highs. There is so much we are exposed to today, so much potential to become desensitized that life seems most well-lived in the manic ups and downs...where we "feel" the very most. Otherwise, how could it be true that my most passionate relationships were also the ones that brought me the most anguish and pain? The line between love and hate can be so razor-thin at times. Love is a complex thing for a reason, it really does require more than just largely commercial holiday to honor it... |
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