%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 |
My blog, where I store those thoughts rattling around my brain |
|
Welcome to the insanity of my mind! Please excuse the cobwebs and clutter, I've been meaning to clean the place up a bit... Stop in and read some of my nonsense whenever the mood strikes you :) |
| Why is it that some of the most poignant art is created through human suffering? This is a question that has plagued me for years. My best work was completed during some particularly tumultuous circumstances, which is frustrating when attempts to recapture it are futile at best. Is this a symptom of mental and emotional pain? Enduring the crushing pressures of society, distilling emotions until they morph into a breath-taking diamond? I'm constantly reminded of things I've seen - media I've consumed that echo this message of overcoming hardship to develop your voice. 'Beauty is pain', one model says to another. Perhaps there's something there. We can take a bodybuilder, bulging with pound upon pound of hardened muscle. An Adonis, carved from living marble. It's truly remarkable how some individuals can transform themselves in this way. But not many understand that it requires tremendous effort and devotion to a brutal lifestyle. A strict diet regimen, research, and supplements, not to mention years of burning limbs, dripping with sweat. All this so strangers can nod appreciatively when shirts come off. It's one thing to know it takes effort and another to actually experience it. So I'll ask again, is beauty a byproduct of pain? Or does the agony merely elevate the ecstasy? Let's explore this a bit further. Would you be interested in a handwoven basket, if you saw it? Well, what if that basket came from a war-torn country, crafted by starving children? Does the human element add to the monetary value or is it merely an ethical dilemma? I question how much of art is expressed through real pain and how much of it is manufactured to drive up the asking price. Of course, not every situation is the same. But I wonder if some of it isn't artificial. But on the opposite side of the spectrum, starving artists are a real thing. Why, it's common knowledge that many of the greats were penniless, overlooked during their time, and only became a sensation posthumously. But I wonder if this wasn't the reason behind their success. Let's say you had a passion for filmmaking and directed some low-budget movies with interesting ideas, what would happen if you were given an unlimited budget but gave up most of your creative control? Could the next film you direct really be called yours? It's a bit like the ship of Theseus. I wonder if notoriety and wealth have more of an influence on artists than we realize. I would have a tough time turning down a multi-million offer for a teen romance novel, even though I despise the stuff. It's a hard position to be in. There's a saying that it's better to be nine people's favorite thing than being the ninth favorite of millions. Where am I going with this? I'm not entirely sure myself. My initial question was why anguish creates such haunting rhapsodies. I think the answer lies in the duality of man. Comedians have the uncanny ability to twist reality and subvert expectations with hilarious results. Yet, they tend to be depressed and suffer from a variety of mental and physical disorders. But why are they so good at skewering society? Humor is a coping mechanism for many. When life is beating you over the head, isn't it better to see it for the cruel joke that it is instead of curling into a ball? Comedy is the opposite of tragedy, but we cannot have one without the other. So it is with our favorite funny people. They have an innate understanding of humor from experiencing emotional trauma and other hardships. I think this is why the (arguably) best art comes from pain. We manage to bundle our fears, worries, insecurities, and other personal demons into self-expression, which elevates it above the rest. Is it healthy? Heck no. I'm not advocating this by any means. I just find it fascinating that we can turn some of our worst flaws into something exquisite. |
| Skateboarding is a complicated experience. For my birthday, a friend of mine bought me an impressive-looking board in the hopes that I would join in on his hobby. It would be rude to dismiss such a gift, so I agreed. While the prospect of zipping around concrete streets and performing reckless stunts always made me feel a bit hesitant, I was moderately experienced in snowboarding. Snowboarding is such a delight and I made sure to take full advantage of the season this year. Who knows how long we'll have snow? But skateboarding... that's a whole 'nother can of worms. My sense of balance was better than I expected but the intricacies of controlling this foreign vehicle were something I have yet to understand. Foot placement and reflexes are king. And a healthy amount of recklessness/confidence is necessary. But despite the goading of my friends, I could do little except practice riding around and not falling off. Getting old doesn't help either. I'm a bit of an odd duck, born in that strange era where two generations overlap. I can mingle with people older than me but still relate to the younger crowd. Walking between these worlds is a bit surreal at times. You feel more mature and outdated with the Gen Z kids but are a bit too frivolous and inexperienced among the Gen Xers. This duality can make it hard for me to get excited about things my friends do. Is it merely the cynicism of adulthood or the knowledge of previous experiences? I think that's why it can be hard to learn new things as you age. All the information you've attained can be detrimental compared to a young fresh slate. So much to unlearn before you can soak in new skills. As for me, I'm going to be practicing my ollies and discovering some painful lessons. Wish me luck! |
| Each day, a new beginning with constant struggle. If your problems start winning better learn to juggle. Stay the course and don't look back Hesitation is defeat If confidence is what you lack keep moving to the beat. This river will wash you away, an unforgiving tide, leading weaker wills astray unless you keep stride. Don't lose focus on those goals Fight with all you got On this road are countless souls who started and forgot. |
All I know Time is a valuable thing Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings Watch it count down to the end of the day The clock ticks life away If there was an organization that specialized in Time, creating a task force that hunted down chrono-criminals with extreme prejudice... Yours truly would be in BIG trouble. I'm a murderer. Yes, you heard that right. There is blood on these hands, typing out the twisted details of my last spree. This weekend, I tracked down Father Time and brutally killed that sucker. Never even saw it coming, poor bastard. One second it was Friday evening and the next thing I knew it was Monday morning. This has happened before, don't get me wrong. It ain't my first rodeo. I'll just have to lay low for a bit and do some work to maintain my cover. But it's so hard not to get back into bad habits. Already I can feel the urges itching, pushing me to gather as much Time as I can and put it in the trash can outside. Oh, is that wasteful? You have no idea. I always thought it was interesting how we all view this incorporeal concept in unique ways. You value your time. There is a price on it, an agreement that you will invest it with the employer of your choosing in exchange for a weekly stipend. Time is money, after all. But it's more than that. I'm a devout believer in taking my time with nearly every facet of life. No need to rush, each move requires careful consideration. Pushing urgency on me only seems to result in digging in my heels. My time is precious and I'm very selfish. Does the word sound weird yet? It's going to by the time you finish this entry. There is something to be said about how we judge things at various points in life. As a kid, you could spend hours doing nonsense your older self would scoff at. "Look, I built a house made out of toothpicks!" But all you can see is a gross misuse of your temporal budget. "Get back to your homework," You sniff. Experience adds a new tint to the lens through which we view the world. Trial and error give us the lessons we should have learned long ago, but it's never too late to practice what you preach. (Oh that's rich, ya damn slacker. Get off the blog and start writing.) Excuse me, I do what I want. Lose the attitude, dude. (Oh yeah? Do you plan on making up for the days you missed? So far you are negative 2000 words buckaroo.) Unless you count the words I just typed... (Cheater cheater pumpkin eater) Can I please finish? You're actively derailing my train of thought here. (Like you finished your last hundred stories?) .... you done? (.... yeah.) We still on for poker tomorrow? (Only if you want to lose money) Uh-huh. You're gonna eat those words, buddy. Sorry about that. Now where was I? Oh yes... I was talking about my nemesis. Time. Of which I am running out. Story of my life. Now if you excuse me, I have responsibilities to ignore and a long day of procrastination planned. If you need me, I'll be setting up a high-stakes poker game. Come by if you'd like me to deal you in. You'll have a great time, I promise. |
| Someone once told me that writing is a lonely business. Quite right. There's nothing but your mind and the blank page, a setting where you control the entire show and have no one to turn to in the midst of it. Small wonder many authors question themselves. Who else is there to reign us in? All editing happens after creation. (Unless you nitpick as you go, an extremely slow and frustrating process.) Have you ever read an old story and find yourself wondering how you managed to get everything right on the first try? That rarely happens again, relish it. I sometimes wonder if I wasn't possessed by the spirit of an ancient playwright, occasionally you have lightning in a bottle and fail to replicate those results on the next try. Come back, ghost! Finish what you started here, my mind is mush. Back to the drawing board, I guess. One week left until I have to present my story to the rest of the Mad Geniuses. *cracks knuckles* Let's get to it, then. |
| If life was like a video game, consequences could be fixed by loading a previous save, and trying again with useful knowledge. The simplest tasks would be lucrative, farming takes on a whole new meaning, nobody would get lost because the right way is always filled with enemies. Each stranger has a quest for you Gaining experience adds strength plus a handy skill tree to unlock insane physics-defying powers. Death? Why that's only temporary a button press, a loading screen then we're back! But unfortunately... you forgot to save three years ago. Nobody gets hungry or sick, (unless those are built-in mechanics) Health is restored instantly Just by walking over bandaids. I would be someone ridiculous an oversized sword on my back wearing questionable clothes which I looted from a dumpster goblin. Give me wings, a jet pack, springs for feet, An open world to wreak mayhem with my friends and a villain to vanquish after an especially difficult boss fight. If life was a video game, would we win? Or is it destined to be played forever always chasing that impossible high-score across our digital universe. |
| I was looking online for tips to get back into writing and found several exercises. One of which was to simply just type whatever comes to mind, stream of consciousness style. So here I am, rambling on about nonsense. A few of my fellow writers agreed to collaborate on a project. Well, that isn't quite right, we opted to pick a prompt and work on something to keep our imaginations active. So far we have a bunch of nonsensical ideas and are voting to pick one from the pot. I just wish I could figure out how to keep going on the projects I started. Discipline is something I am sorely in need of. Can I hire someone to lock me in a room with nothing but a typewriter? Not even a computer, those are far too distracting. Just give me an old-fashioned writing instrument and keep me away from anything remotely technological. Why are phones so addicting? Damn those cursed rectangles. They seem to absorb all of your time and leave you wondering where the day went. It's no wonder why people are so apathetic these days. Why bother going outside when you can live vicariously through others? Why bother thinking and formulating your own ideas when you can watch a reaction video telling you how to feel? Hm, this is becoming a bit of a rant. Did I work off enough rust? Is my brain ready to get back to storming or am I going to mindlessly wander through the internet and giggle at cat videos? Truly, this modern age is a tricky one to navigate. Guess I should get back to hacking away at the keyboard and throwing stuff at the wall to see what sticks. Hopefully I can stick with my goal of 1000 words a day. Some days I can get twice that and not break a sweat. And then we have today where I struggle to get out a mere hundred. Wish me luck, dear readers! |
| I just realized I didn't post my thoughts on the finale. While the first two episodes were excellent, this was a bit poorer in terms of quality. There is a time skip and it presents an interesting concept but it goes nowhere fast sadly. Instead of going for a more science fiction route and uncovering the secrets of Dracula, (like how the first episode began), this final chapter chooses an emotional climax which it achieves with some success. But this comes at the loss of more interesting storylines and time spent meandering with characters that I never had much interest in. The "new" Agatha is a bit lackluster and spends most of her time fawning over the charismatic count and cleaning up his messes. She never is angry with him, even when he murders dozens of people. It's almost like they shrug it off, as if he can't help it. The poor thing was hungry, after all. But while the finale falters in places, there are some brilliant bits here and there. Dracula is in fine form here, devilishly cheeky and ever ravenous. Seeing how he navigates modern society was interesting but it felt a bit strange how nobody wants to hunt him down and study his blood. There was a moment where I thought the Van Helsing Organization was going to be the world's supernatural task force, hunting down monsters and capturing specimens for further research. This is something many movies and shows have tried and failed. Perhaps that's why the writers opted for a subversive twist with Renfield. But one wonders why Zoe didn't fight it more, that was a bit odd. My favorite part had to be the children of the night reference, it was a morbid scene that was built up nicely. Overall, wonderful show with some fresh new ideas. I just wish they stuck the landing a bit more. |
| Well, that was quite an episode. Dracula was in rare form here, making himself known to everyone and chewing up the scenery (and several unfortunate souls). If I had to make any complaints, it was that some of the characters made typical dumb horror movie decisions. If not for that, it would have been a perfect episode. But it's still incredible. I want to talk about it but there's too much I don't want to spoil. Agatha is amazing here, with wonderful development and excellent dialogue. Her chats with the Count were my personal highlight. Great twists as well, I confess they got me! Not as gruesome as episode one but still bloody enough to satisfy my appetite :D Watch it! You won't be disappointed. |
| Initially, I had my doubts about the 'new' (2020) Dracula TV show, seeing as there have been dozens of movies and shows depicting the infamous count and his unquenchable thirst. What new ground could this rendition break, I wondered? Hasn't it all been done to death? (Or undeath) If not for the constant goading of a close friend, I would have been content to ignore it and go about my business. So how was it? Roughly halfway through the first episode, I was hooked. There are some rough patches to be sure and some creative decisions I was not a fan of but overall it was a solid piece of horror. Each episode runs about the same length as the average movie, so there is plenty of Gothic goodness to sink your fangs into. Dracula himself is absolutely wonderful. Equal parts witty and wicked, he oozes charisma and malice whenever he slinks on screen. The other characters are played with varying degrees of success, but they are fairly serviceable against the brooding backdrops and twisting halls. Most of them are going to die anyway, so just sit back and enjoy the show! I'm only one episode in with two more left in the season but so far it has 'remixed' the classic tale as we know it and given a bit of freshness to those musty pages. It's a bit too modern in terms of sensibilities, especially with a certain nun who is very much out of place in the late Victorian era. At times her dialogue is a bit too... smug? On the nose? "Religion is a waste of time, God doesn't care, I'm only in a convent because like many women I'm trapped in a loveless marriage so I can put a roof over my head." I paraphrase of course. These are fine lines and I don't disagree with the message but it's a bit odd to have a character spouting this in a period piece. It would be comparable to a peasant in medieval times lamenting the woes of feudalism and demanding a democratic government be instilled. Anachronistic. That's the word I was looking for. Agatha Van Hellsing is a character with anachronistic views and it takes me out of this very immersive show. Dracula can get away with it at times because he is an immortal being who reads minds and acquires knowledge through blood. A few cheeky quips here and there aren't out of line. But a sequestered nun? Oh but she's a scientist too. Guess that makes sense...? Minor nitpicks aside, I grew to appreciate Agatha but I wish she was a bit more well written. I won't even comment on Mina. I'm getting ready to watch the next episode and will post my thoughts :) |
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
