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 May the dreams you hold dearest, be those which come true, and the kindness you spread, keep returning to you! Kindest Regards, Lilli   |
| You're a powerful mind. I wish your intensity. Any advice? I'm captivated by the twisted inch of our souls. The dark one. I became a fan of your writing. I can relate it to a very close friend of mine. Thank you for inspire me. Eva. |
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Keep shining and write on! 
... i try to stay centered/balanced, it has not been easy (especially for someone who Felt so ... strong), but i try to remember that life/the Universe/god does not give anybody more than they can carry, & that as a (blessedly) strong spirit, it takes a Lot to keep me on my toes, And that it is okay to be human, do your best to love, be grateful for all i am blessed with... and, ...sometimes i seem to forget (my self), and that That's okay, too
... when my (younger brother passed, my Dad (a strong, self made man) whispered to me, "i made a mistake", & i said, "what do you mean?", and he replied, "I should have spent more time with you boys, not 'The Business' "... and i pitied him right then, & realized i had been consumed, my whole life (long before i Even knew it) with a driving need to not 'get to the end' & realize i had 'gotten it wrong', misunderstood what was Truly important in Our time here, .. so i said to my Father, "Well Dad, i never felt you respected my choices, in my life...".... & he looked in my face, and he said, "Chris, I've respected you every f***in day of my life"....
though we don't "know each other", i know we Do 'know each other', dear Eva, & i am sending you baskets full of Peace, Love, Hope, Faith and aloha... and hoping you Are Happy...
your dear friend, and fellow writer, christo
anyway, Dad (who much later i realised i had mistrusted on a very deep level from the age of 4) & with whom i had a very typical relationship for those days - ie- (i felt like) he was always 'on my case'; later i realised he was "'doing his best' to produce the man he understood i was destined to be"; but basically would not-have-had a very strong sense of myself, if i hadn't escaped Every year (he would drive us all down there, maybe spend a week, & then go back to NYC, to run the bakery, appearing again, in late August, to return me to the world where i "was not a very 'good lad' "; but luckily, those months, each summer in a small town, the first grandchild of (eventually turned-out to be) 34 grandchildren, & i was, forever, the 'golden boy' (the "apple of his eyes"), in his world, and he paraded me among his friends as a young prince (so smart, so handsome, on my way to someday being a true Major Player, in whatever field i chose), and This is the 'view of myself' I chose to Believe (as opposed to the ever-disappointing, ever-angry, view-of-me (which seemed to be all my Father ever-communicated to me)
this has gotten Long and (after so many years out-of-touch, possibly a boring, self-aggrandising waste of your time. i want to stop right there, and ask, "how has your life gone, been going?). when i last remember, you had become a 'published writer'... fiction? Non-fiction? poetry? nor have i ever felt like i knew much (your age? your 'field-in-life'?) about you: are you (by now) a married woman? with children? are you "happy"? fulfilled? political? religious? i don't even know Where you live? ( for some reason, i always thought of you as Italiano? )!!
i'm out of 'letters' (i will have to 'go back & edit some 100 words...
i hope this has not been a rude & unwelcome 'blast from the past', & that i hear from you, (but if for any reason) you don't/can't/won't respond, i want to leave you knowing how much you meant to me, as a writer & more
christo