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| I am allowing myself the luxury of writing freely. If I jump from subject to subject like a grasshopper, so be it. Sometimes that's just the way my mind works. “Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough.”-Og Mandino (1923-1996) Essayist, Psychologist I remember a cedar tree in the front of the house where I lived as a child. Periodically it would overgrow enough to leave only a narrow space to walk on the little sidewalk entry toward the front of the house. My father would take some tool I can't remember & cut it back to bare branches to allow this same process to repeat, again & again. This cedar tree did not have cones, it had odd shaped hard little green seeds. I had never seen another tree like that one. The reason I mentioned 'hard' in the description is that they could be used to pelt an unsuspecting person entering the walk way. I was usually that unsuspecting person & my brother (may he be granted eternal rest) was the one who fired these seeds at me. I say 'fired' because that's how they felt when they landed. He was just throwing them at a high rate of speed, but they left welts like a paint ball gun had shot them. But paint ball guns wouldn't be designed for another forty years. "Memories warm you up from the inside. But they also tear you apart."–Haruki Murakami Living in a small town in West Texas in the 1950's was a unique upbringing. It was still safe for children to roam about the neighborhoods with impunity. Although there were incidents that made it unsafe, those were rare occurrences. I used to go across the street to help an older man clean his chicken coop, gather eggs & get paid a quarter for chopping weeds. His wife was an 'invalid' & got out of bed only to play the piano & sing hymns. I really enjoyed singing with her. After singing she would serve angel food cake with canned fruit cocktail. Sadly, I encountered a practicing pedophile who was 'grooming me'. One time inside the dark, smelly chicken coop he started 'tickling' me inappropriately around my upper thighs & groin. I knew it was wrong but was too afraid to say anything to anyone. I finally told my best friend, she told her mother & her mother told my mother. That put the end of my visiting with them. A new girl, without a mother moved into the neighborhood & started visiting him all the time. I knew what must have gone on. I carried that guilt for years. |
| Note to self: What made me think I could get a puppy when I'm disabled & 67 years old? She's high energy. I'm NOT! She bites a LOT. I'm working with her on that daily but I look like I've been savaged by a cat with scratches all over my arms. Also bruises from where she nips & runs. She always manags to nip the same spot. I'm sleep deprived & cranky. The only time I can get online to do book reviews is if she is crated. I know a year from now she will be well behaved & all this will be a distant memory. When we take a ride, she's a love bug. That's what keeps me going. Then she's a real joy.  |
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