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| So I'm getting into some really fun times in my rewrite, making a totally altered scene in the same slot. I'm a little confuzzled however, since my character is a little kid (Eleven). She's destined to be the 'emotionally intelligent' one, but she's been the victim of a lot of benevolent gaslighting. (You know, calling her legitimate visions 'imaginary friends' so that she doesn't piss off the neighbors.*) And I'm thinking that the parts where the kid is accurately describing the feelings of the adults might be too much. Or it might not. I mean, she's telling me stuff I didn't know and I might have to adjust it. E.G.Her voice had the growl of anger but the vibe in my belly was one of fear. My fuzzy head told me I was safe with the pixies, and Myrrha–she couldn't stand knowing I had been out of her reach. I wished someone could teach her how to live with that kind of fear–the kind that you couldn't fend off with a sword. Anyhow, so I'm wondering if that's too much precocious or, if it is exactly the kind of thought that a kid would have in that situation? I mean if she were the kind that could read the room. Not being all that good at reading the room it's hard to tell. *I just realized where this storyline came from... |
| Added a new entry to my blog: This one fuses writing technique with self help. Literally turning your experiences into grist for the writing mill at the same time that you gain perspective. https://www.Writing.Com/authors/jotokai/blog "Emotional Control/writing/Memoir"  |
Hook or Pass? Opening a chapter For your consideration: the start of a chapter, of a scene. POV: eleven year old apprentice swords-girl who decided to wander about in the cursed woods (unarmed) thanks to the advice of spirits her guardians don't want her talking to. Believing she completed her mission with her "imaginary friends" Sigrun is lost. I tiptoed beneath the looming trees along the lonely road, ducking beneath the thorny brambles. The helpless crunch of stray leaves beneath my feet echoed in that hollow space as we blew aimlessly about in the night. In the dim, rusted light of the false moon, the surviving brown and orange leaves clung precariously to their home. The stars above abandoned me behind dark, angry clouds, and the wheel tracks wandering from Wilt's Bridge had been all but swallowed up in the wild. Struggling to guess which way to go, I pulled at my thin white shirt. Vainly searching for armor–for shelter and warmth against the night–I clawed at the material. Tell me friends: Read on or Pass? |
Hey Joto-Kai   , your query has jumped into my brain like a gnarling earworm. if this is to be your opening how about a little more hook. "The forest waited for Elara, its ancient roots stirring with each new footstep. In its shadowed heart, where the air thrummed with moss and dark memory, a hidden path shimmered into being, summoned by her presence. Elara, bound to the woods by a tie deeper than blood, felt them claim her at last. She stepped forward, the trees bowing in quiet reverence, as she began a journey destined to weave her fate with the soul of the wild." What's ya think? |
Joey's Ready for the Hunt  - What do I think? What do I think... I personally think it's awesome. Inspiration is always good. |
| Joto-Kai - To borrow from an old interview with George Orwell back in 1929... "I like that you were inspired use what you will and deposit the rest in the nearest dust bin." |
 I'm so unbelievable... unbelievably...  [I want to say harsh things about my intelligence, and that's only going to further drive me into confusion. So, suffice to say, it's unbelievable that I haven't been awake to this.] I've been trying to write out my rewrites without loading into my mind the stuff of the scenes. Predictably, having ambushed my brain, it's been typing "No comment." So I think the next step is to develop an interview that will get me started each time. |
| I've added a new entry to my book, "Thoughts of a Mad Man" : "Emotional Control: Pulling out of a skid" |
| Eggcorns are misheard phrases that make good sense. My favorite is "spread like wildflowers." Supposed to be "spread like wildfire." But really, it's a different metaphor. It implies something both slower and more beneficial. If you pass around real smiles they spread. It isn't like wildfire, and it isn't insidious like something viral--it plants a seed that has to grow, and take root before it can spread. So, kindness spreads like wildflowers. We need this eggcorn to spread-- To Spread Like Wildflowers |
| I've added a new entry to my book, "Thoughts of a Mad Man" : "Emotional Control: Six Second Response" Raven  |
| So I've revised my little girl heroine's attitude. Turns out that if Sigrun has that much faith at the beginning--and it's not totally misguided--that signals the story is over close the book. It also turns out that if she really should have that much faith, and she doesn't, well that's a perfect way to start a story. In this case, part of her story is to find out that everyone who loves her gives her pushback because they know that being chosen by the angels is a bed of rosebushes--it smells sweet but it's bloody awful trying to get any rest. |
| I've added a new entry to my book, "Thoughts of a Mad Man" : "Emotional Control: a first trick to learn." |
| Entelechy: from Telos, purpose; to infuse with purpose. If Jay thinks that success begins with the bestseller list, and: Kay feels success beginning with the decision to open the doc, who will have more motivation? Entelechy is when thinking about a certain purpose becomes habit forming, causing you to subtly find more and more expressions of that purpose to the point where you may not even notice when you've achieved your goals because you enjoy the work. |
| A daily rush write in which you babble on the page is a liberating and powerful practice which works in terms of shaping. At first the plan is to keep up the cursor movement. Don't worry about coherence, just let the mind babble on the page. As you do it, enjoy the play at it and be very approving of whatever you get. Remember you can delete it after you record that you did it. But what happens after a while of doing this is that sometimes your mind latches onto an idea and starts writing coherent paragraphs out of thin air. And then perhaps after a while you stumble on a pattern that creates plot, or at least narrative like the MRU and you learn that it's really easy to keep at that in the fastest speed you can type. The key is to set your expectation for something that you can always achieve, and approve of this, while also being open for that next level. Each time you actually jump up to the next level, your mind will notice how you react. Eventually, if you keep your expectations gently low, you will begin to notice a subtle improvement. This comes from learning. The reason you can't write anything passable at this rate is the same reason a baby can't walk: they haven't done it before. If you lived in a society of babies your ambition to walk without a walker would be considered nonsense. But with experience you can convert that. Remember that there are people who tell off-the-cuff stories in person. They're relatable and interesting. So it can be done. |
| Sean Webb's equation of emotion allows us to either empathize (reverse engineer) emotion, or to construct it as needed. I won't bore you with the symbols, he's much better at that than I, not being a mathematician. The difference between POV's standard for this situation (expectation and/or preference) versus POV's perception of events equals/Generates POv's emotion Now each person can have several, conflicting standards and several confusing perceptions. That's what makes for more complex emotion. Jack can be glad that he got something off his chest, irritated that Jo provoked him to it, embarrassed that he did it so sloppily, ashamed that he was so easily provoked, and satisfied to think that Jo will be embarrassed when she thinks of it. One slip of the tongue. Now not all of these need to be delineated in every paragraph, but they increase your appreciation and constitute that 90% below the surface that Hemingway talks about. I guess. |
| Take this first as a writer then as a wisdom idea--the warning you need. If you're writing a book about a character who finally realizes, in the end, that they is the villain, what would be the last line. Here is mine, for what it is worth: If I had given myself the permission to be wrong, to loosen up and enjoy the game... This didn't have to be, if I had not taken things so seriously. |
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