Offing your Stars (K---Unaliving---your Darlings) I have a beloved piece that began as a chapter, "In the Face of Apocalypse." The story is heavily seasoned with the world building that came in with the first book of my unpublished series. For years I've been driving to distill enough of my world building to keep the reader up to speed. And you know, I've almost got it. Almost! Which a shame. We barely glimpse the story of Talesh, struggling with a malignant identity that has no place in the new world. Or maybe it's a good thing--it's a story I needed to tell, not one I had the power to tell. |
Love putting deep lines in a character's mouth so it sounds like something else. In this case, Feles is sounding diabolical--as a peddler of a kinder, gentler Borg tech, as a dangerous analog of the Founders, and not valued for her insight. "Not in fascist coordination," Feles whispered, "But in seeing and being seen---that is the great power of the link." "Resistance should not.... StarTrekFanfic" ![]() |
An old Facebook post, this is a true story with names changed. (Seamus is meself.) One of very few memoir bits, very very short. Lemme know if you like it. "Trixie Dips" ![]() |
It helps when you've something to say. "Write what you know." I think it means take the stuff you know, research the stuff you care about, and then try to cover it up with all the fun stuf you imagine. Amateur writers copy; mature writer's steal, opines T.S. Eliot. Don't just copy reality; strip it down and repaint it so that nobody will guess it's based on some boring normal reality. |
I agree. The question shouldn't be, "Has this been done before?" It should be, "Has this been told in the way I'm telling it?" |
"Resistance should not.... StarTrekFanfic" ![]() So I've got another story for attention. You may've already seen part of it, I think it is at least complete. Have you ever been where you would sell your soul to help a family member? Darro offers such a deal to a beautiful vendor of repurposed Borg technology... but is his suspicion in the right place? Three parts, worth the read. |
I am still overeager but my first draft of the Star Trek fanfic is out. I added it to chapter 3 because the wordcount was too low. "Resistance should not.... StarTrekFanfic" ![]() Note this is in a crushed Federation where humans rely on Ferengi 💊 medicine. And some would turn to the Borg for protection. Started on the way to a hospital bed.... |
I've just added a chapter to an item in my portfolio:
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Two pages in to my library book and I need the red, editor's pencil. It should be "Selten's exacting, Vulcan mind" unless you mean by "Selten"s exacting Vulcan mind" to suggest the proliferation of "slipshod Vulcan minds." I assure you that not even the less disciplined Romulan mind is ever slipshod. Good thing it is an ebook. |
Yeah, I hate it when I run across something like that in a book I'm reading. The worst of it is, I don't if I should be disappointed in the author for making the mistake, or ticked off at the alleged proofreading program whose autocorrect function thinks it knows better. ![]() |
Soldier_Mike ![]() I might have to puck more carefully for my pleasure reads |
If the chemical is keeping you sane is a medicine that counteracts that still an antidote or is [t]here a better word? Edited for typos |
Depends on the context of what you are writing but there are different words that can replace it, especially when knowing that some poisons can be medicine and some medicine can be poison. Every ones body is different so you can honestly use any word that you deem fit for that person. It can be " medicine", Medicinal Concoction", "remedy", or something of the sort. Hope this helps. |
The L.E.X.A ![]() |
Title pick? Seeking reviews and comments too "Let their eyes paint me..." ![]() So what title is most appealing for this low stakes fantasy story. Feel free to comment a title or even make comments on the story here if you're not ready for a review. Spider Elves Night Bazaar Let their Eyes paint me... If we only had the time. Stupid for a wizard |
Ooh, I love how you've rewritten it since I reviewed it. It's easier to follow and more vivid. And the titles... Let their Eyes Paint Me echoes the themes of inequality and racism and also highlights the simple act of painting which comes into play at the end. I really like the way this is coming along ![]() |
You open the software because you have something to say and that means you are a writer. Just thinking how excited your message had you causes you to edit and polish and that means you are doing important work. These tiny adjustments have often more power than you think. And even if your message seems banal, speak your truth, for the natural course of wrds may flow still more to you. |
So I have a new piece, 1600 words. It follows an adventure from Sigrun's world, Oliver, as he navigates the tensions of his home city. I would love a review. Bear in mind I am overeager on getting my work out, I do award GPs. "Let their eyes paint me..." ![]() |
I have maybe returned in my writing as I have finally started to plot a story from the reader's perspective. In place of these visions of camera angles and the events, I am like, OK, the reader feels annoyed because it looks like the POV is being superstitious and stupid. We see how X is serious with all the benefits that come with what she wants. And finally convinced of his sincerity, he decides to take her help. Then he succeeds in finding his goal, reconnecting with the hidden bastions of human civilization. The reader cheers only to gasp in horror as the help causes him to betray (against his will) the people he has been seeking. But fortunately the Untrusted agent is able to warn them and pull it back, showing that his trust in her was well placed. Now all I need re the beats that show why he is doing it and make it look like he is wrongto resist. Or a story where Oliver gets help for hated Spider elves who are being bullied. Oliver's friend steps in and stopstat. People cheer. Then Spider elf wants to give Friend a gift and he refuses in disgust, becoming violent with Oliver for dishonoring them. Of course when Oliver's room is being vandalized just after the elf that warned him to stay out steps in and shows him how to use the gift to pass inspection despite the paint. Was the vandalism for taking on the unpopular cause? Oh yeh.....but he also gained a powerful net of allies that will help him. Point being I have the emotions mapped out rather than the plot, the second less so. |
Doing a customer service survey and the servant did fine. It says, "Please rate your experience on a scale of one to four." I hit the help. It says, "Please rate your experience on a scale of one to four. The customer service rep's professionalism was... For Help, please hit the #." Now somebody please tell me, based on the text of the above information, if I liked him should I rate him a four or a one? And does anybody this stu.... |
Yep. The bank I use (one of the biggest in the country) did this. "Please rank your customer service on a scale of 1 to 5 using the keypad." I hit "1". I got a phone an hour later asking me what was wrong. I told them nothing. Everything was great. Why did I hit 1? It just said to rate. I thought 1 would be like first, and so the best. (I knew what I was doing, BTW...) Nowadays it says, "On a scale of 1 to 5 where 1 is the lowest and 5 is the highest, please rank your customer service." I'm not saying I changed it; I'm just saying that a num ber of us caused a change. |