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My doctor prescribed anti-gloating cream. I can't wait to rub it in!
I used to be indecisive. Now, I'm not sure... Hmmm, make up my mind? Is it as easy as the habit of making up my bed? Do I pull up the quilt, fluff the pillows, smooth out the wrinkles? Is it like make up, you know, cosmetics? Do I accentuate the lashes, rub in a cheek glow, apply a hint of colour to the lips? Now what? My mind is tidy and painted.
You should never date a tennis player. Love means nothing to them.
  •   1 comment
Also, they like to string you along. It's a real racket.
If a drummer comes out of retirement will there be repercussions?
  •   4 comments
I've often wondered that if Death has perchance a couch, does it have Reaper cushions?
What if he did so in a forest where no one was around? Would it make a sound?(sorry, philosophy joke)
Ms. TerrifyingTuber Author Icon - Sound is vibrations in air. As long as there's air, there's sound, regardless of whether there are ears around to hear it.

If the forest has no air, we have bigger problems than mystical koans.
Id like to give a shout out to all the sidewalks for keeping me off the streets.
  •   2 comments
Sidewalks do a great service to all of us, yet people just walk all over them!
Sidewalks are for crabs.
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire.
  •   1 comment
They're both spokesmen.
AVOIDABLE: what a matador attempts to do...
  •   1 comment
After a brief chuckle (thank you) I thought this also applies to family gatherings when the bull starts to flow.
A sister revered for her intelligence? Nun the Wiser
Where do library books like to sleep? Under their covers.
  •   2 comments
I have to admit, that's pretty funny. *Laugh*
Cute.
What has more lives than a cat? A frog- he croaks everyday.
Paper jam is the least delicious of all the preserves.
  •   4 comments
Pink paper jam is okay, in any case it's better than traffic jam.
Toe jam. Don’t recommend. At all. *Sick*
Jeremy Author Icon -
What do you call a beehive with no exit? Un-bee-leavable
  •   1 comment
A buzzkill.
For my American compatriots who insist upon celebrating Thanksgiving closer to the end of November instead of in October. Since there may likely be gorging indulgent feasting I present this... My stomach is FLAT. The 'L' is silent.
What key has two legs and cannot open a lock? A turkey.
  •   3 comments
Good answer, because a monkey can definitely open a lock.

Not sure about a donkey, though.
The donkey has 4 legs. LOL
Marvelous Friend Author Icon - True, but I could have asked what has four legs and a lock pick. Now I have this image in my head.
The dyslexic poet always writes inverse.
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