As the anniversary of D-Day approaches, I thought it would be appropriate to share this poem written by Audie Murphy, the most decorated American soldier in WWII. THE CROSSES GROW ON ANZIO Oh, gather 'round me, comrades; and listen while I speak Of a war, a war, a war where hell is six feet deep. Along the shore, the cannons roar. Oh how can a soldier sleep? The going's slow on Anzio. And hell is six feet deep. Praise be to God for this captured sod that rich with blood does seep. With yours and mine, like butchered swine's; and hell is six feet deep. That death awaits there's no debate; no triumph will we reap. The crosses grow on Anzio, where hell is six feet deep. . . . Audie Murphy, 1948 |
I just posted a new entry in
Please check it out and let me know what you think.
All the best, Zev |
Good morning. I recently edited and added to this story and asked for reviews. Thank you, kind reviewers, for helping me out. One review, however, generated questions of my own, remarking that... OK, let me try to put this as I understood the comment - there is too much background information at the beginning (oversimplified for the purpose of this question). That confused me. In a story I wrote a while ago (different story completely, not on this site), the reviewer told me I had jumped into the action too quickly, that they needed to know more about the main character so they could understand their reactions to what was happening. So, when I began Alan's story, I purposefully put in information to introduce him, to let the reader get to know him before he began his real adventure. I may have done this a bit ham-handedly (is this a real word, lol?), but that was my intent. What IS the best way to open a story? Should a writer jump right into the action, giving information about the character as the action moves along, or should you introduce them at the beginning? I am interested in your opinions. I am also interested in getting more reviews if you have the time. I look forward to seeing your responses.
Thanks, Zev |
On the question of the best way to start a story: the knowledge I have acquired says to begin as close to the inciting incident as possible. This could be starting in the middle of a mission to rescue a scientist that goes sideways or the months leading up to a birthday party 17 years before even getting the call to adventure. If what you are showing the reader doesn't further the plot or develop the characters, then it shouldn't be in the story. For starting a story, ask who your characters are, what your characters want (and what's in the way). Inform the reader of who the characters are; this can be done with an action scene or a quiet moment; not everything about a character is relevant at the beginning but should be revealed as it becomes relevant to the story. The Lord of the Rings begins 17 years before the beginning of the quest because it is pertinent to know who Frodo is to Bilbo and how Fordo comes to possess the ring. The actions of a special operator in a mission and his interactions with his team and the target inform the reader as to the attitudes of the character for salvaging the operation. What a character wants (and what stands in opposition to obtaining the goal) is what drives a good story. If a character wants to spend time with his family, then what stands in the way determines the start (i.e. A few minutes before the earthquake hits, weeks before trying to meet a deadline, or the end of high school before meeting the other person, etc.). Let me know if this seems to be wise counsel for you or if I confused you further. |
Good evening, all. I posted this story a while ago and let it set for a few weeks. A couple of kind folks reviewed me (noob here). Based upon the comments I received I edited the story and added more to it. Can some kind soul give it a peek for me? I am paying 500 GPs per review. Thanks in advance. Looking for honest feedback.
Thanks, Zev |