to be honest, i'm not really a great reader of love poetry- normally i find it unbearable unless Bejeman (can't spell) or yeats wrote it, but i'm prepared to admit this was a excellent one. only thing i'm not too sure about is the word 'gazed' (last line of second-to-last verse). i just think its not urgent enough; gazed is quite a laid back word for such a powerful moment. but it doesn't ruin it or anything.
i particularly like the repetition of 'i almost didn't see you'. very effective. so all in all, well done. :)
i don't know if i'm missing something here, but it seems a bit like a paragraph or two of dark-sounding words to me, not really a poem. and i think it may have been somewhat ambitious to rhyme macabre with candelabra. that said, i thought it was rather amusing in a gory kind of way.
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