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Review of Baby 11  Open in new Window.
Review by abbensettsr Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
The emotional content of this piece is definitely potent. I think that you can work on making certain ideas sharper so that they hit a little bit harder like "You know before I would tell people that I could hear music when I was walking, eating, looking at them and they wouldn't believe me. Now I know it was my heart playing that music for them, those were my feelings converted to the nice soft sounds" If you could make it more clear that this music is metaphorical and cannot be heard by others I think that the contrast of the fact that it plays within the writer for others will make this section pop whereas otherwise it might seem muddled.
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