awww this is so cute and tells a whole other story from below that actual words. True emotions are really felt really expressed through out this. This had a great rhyme scheme, which I know is really hard to do. Absolutely love it. This is all really true and down to earth, and from the heart.
Though this was a bit confusing it had a good story behind it. It could not hold my attention during some parts but in others i couldn't keep my eyes off the screen. I would try making things a bit mare clear to help the flow of the words. I lied what you were trying to say, but I was just say it a little bit differently. Thanks for sharing, overall a good job.
Haha this is great, I love how you put a different twist on how hyperboles are normally perceived as. You made it into the newbie newsletter, congrats. Thank you for sharing this with us. I enjoyed reading this, good job. I liked the fact that I could say that everything said here was true! Good job and keep it up.
This was great to read. I had to do a lot of thinking while reading it, so I could truly get the whole idea of the poem.
There were some great comparisons in this piece! In the last paragraph you kept putting '...'within the line I don't think that that is necessary for the piece.
Overall good job!
This is great! A lot of the things that you said are so easy to relate to. Everything that was said was true. I really like this, reminds me of the plot of The Fault in Our Stars by: John Green.
You may want to go and check the capitalization in this, I saw a few mistakes.
There was a great use of symbolism in this poem. This poem was very unique and had some good points to it.
It tells a good story about a mother and a child. Thank you for sharing your good work on WDC. I would try to make your ideas more clear in your writing, but still really good job.
Hey, NEWBIE! First of all welcome to WDC! Thank you for sharing this piece, it seems as though I am really on the beach as I read this. You did a great job of painting a picture in my head. The summary really caught my eye!
Thank You far sharing your good work!
This piece was great, it was really inspirational, and I loved it.
Great piece, with a great message that we all should have engraved on our foreheads.
Check this line:
"all of us at some point on our life will end up going downfall"
should it be "in our life"
This made me smile! Great Work!! I really liked this one in particular, the mood changes throughout the piece even though it is not very long, and that's very good. Great Job!
My favorite line is:
"small but strong
not easily put out"
I just love that. Thank you for sharing, keep it up!
Beautiful! I could clearly see the deeper meaning behind this piece, and I could relate to it tremendously.
The use of symbolism that is used in the piece in amazing. The idea is clearly showed throughout the piece and you stay on topic. Loved Loved Loved this piece. Thanks for Sharing!
For some reason this reminded me of "Call of the Wild" by Jack London.
I liked the piece and how you really tried to show the wolf's true feelings. It was a little to vague for me but had some good points to it.
Tip: I would add more detail, it was almost too mysterious.
Try to balance all of the mystical things about the piece with some more clean straight facts.
Oh my I love this piece. I can relate to it more than you know, wish that others could see the world like this.
In the fifth line you may want to look at the start of the line, could make a few changes there. I would start it like you started all of the other lines "Is it you". It would make more sense that way, but that is just my opinion.
Wow, that was very deep. It has a whole other story from the underneath, it forces the author to read from between the lines, not on the lines.
I like writing that makes me think about things in a different way.
Just would add more of a middle to the story, it has a great beginning and end, but the middle could have more of a deeper meaning. Great Job so far.
Keep up the Good Work,
Addy S. :)
A deep honest reflection put into beautiful words. It tells how things really are in the world, and how time can help with all of the struggles that we as people go through.
Check for typos and capitalization errors.
Keep up the good work,
Addy S.
great poem!
just a personal peep peeve on the line "Have their curtains now drawn" you may want to add "now" into the beginning of the line, to make it more clear on what you are trying to say
great adjectives used in the piece, really made the whole story come together
keep up the good work,
Addy
great job!
it had a bit of question to it which i think goes along great with the piece
really tells the story, love is shown in a different way than it is normally seen, but in a good kind of way
great piece to read and I like how it made me think
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/addyseeley1
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 3:38pm on Nov 28, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
