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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/aedenalexander
Review Requests: OFF
9 Public Reviews Given
9 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
You'll get a whole review from me. I'll look at the details along with the big picture; I'm great with spelling and grammar; plot holes and flow breaks will be addressed; I won't go line-by-line unless asked specifically, but I will gladly go paragraph-by-paragraph, so long as your work isn't terribly long.
I'm good at...
Pointing out issues with plot, flow, and accuracy.
Favorite Genres
Fantasy, sci-fi, psychology, mythology, history, occult, dark
Least Favorite Genres
Mystery, children's, crime/gangster
Favorite Item Types
Short stories, fiction, novels/novellas, chapters
Least Favorite Item Types
Essays, articles
I will not review...
Poetry (it's just NOT my strong suit)
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of PK Chapter 1  Open in new Window.
Review by Aéden Alexander Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
This is a unique rendition of the story of Pandora's Box, and I found myself actually enjoying it, even though I know the real myth. The idea of self-preservation spurring Pandora to open the box was a welcome change-up.

With so little introduction to Pandora, though, the freaking out seemed a little out of character, since the rest of the text makes her seem unsure of herself, and then suddenly, she's boldly threatening a Titan. It just seems unlikely.

Keep writing, though! I want to see what happens (and I'm actually a little concerned about Epimethius's well-being after falling on the open box).
2
2
Review by Aéden Alexander Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Awesome! I mean, obviously, it could use some work as far as grammar and spelling and general all-around story-line, but since that's not important to the story itself, I'm just focusing on the humor here, which is great. "So was my safe word. So could mean anything." I'll definitely be walking around saying "So" whenever I encounter an awkward situation. Or any situation, for that matter. And the iconic bursting into flames when I was expecting him to spawn neon or something was genius, what with the tossing in the random normality into an otherwise absurd story and all. I enjoyed it quite a bit, and actually laughed out loud in certain places (which doesn't happen, like, ever), so I'll be waiting for the rest of it.

So. Hehehe!
3
3
Review by Aéden Alexander Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Very original. I love the whole new world you've created here. Most people try for an alternate version of the real world, but you pulled off a whole new one. Good for you. Fantasy often can't be truly fantasy unless you create a world with its own rules, like you did. The familial ties were a good idea, but if your story goes on for quite a while longer, I think it would have been better to hold off the big fight between sisters until later on. Of course, tossing all of the surprises in right there at the beginning can also be a good strategy, as it keeps people interested enough to keep reading.

My only possibly negative criticism is that you seem to have used up all of your secrets. The first chapter alluded to quite a few possibilities, mysteries for you to uncover as the story went on, but by the end of chapter two, you'd already uncovered them all.

That's all of my input for now. Thanks for the entertainment! I'll be back to read more when you have it, by the way. I liked it lots.
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