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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/aesquad
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15 Public Reviews Given
15 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Radioman Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.5)
Your poem carries a powerful message - the
Second Coming. I'm unsure about the word Son. First reading I thought you meant Sun. Second reading I thought you meant Son. After the third reading I'm on the fence.

Either way. I think you've done a great job.
2
2
Review of Jubilation  Open in new Window.
Review by Radioman Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Very effective. I though of a mother relieved to hear the door open at midnight, knowing her son returned home from his first date unscathed.

Fine job.
3
3
Review of Done  Open in new Window.
Review by Radioman Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (1.5)
You have some graphic scenes and it held my attention to the last word. It would be more vivid with some extra descriptions. I assume George was kicking and screaming when dragged from bed. And I would have liked to know the purpose behind this. At the end you stated he is going next door, but we don't know why. Was it mistaken identity, or had this person gone off his nut. It would be more powerful if you set it up in the beginning, like extended road rage? Keep working on this. You have something here.
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Review of A Note to Self  Open in new Window.
Review by Radioman Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (2.0)
I think this is a great free-verse poem. It carries an important message. You done well.
5
5
Review by Radioman Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (2.0)
Your story hooked me from the start. And it kept me reading to the last line.
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6
Review by Radioman Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
Great little story. Every class has a clown. Some are funnier than others.

You hooked me right from the start. I fell in line with the students and the teachers. There are a couple of nits. In the second paragraph I thought he came around on his own. But that's probably just me, always jumping to conclusions.
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Review by Radioman Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.5)
Very cool. An entire afternoon bundled into seven lines. Been there, done that.
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Review of The Night  Open in new Window.
Review by Radioman Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
This poem has a lot of depth and emotion, bu it left some unanswered questions. Who where they? Was it a volcano. Does it really matter that I know?
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