This, is FASCINATING! I consider myself relatively smart but cryptos still baffle me. How long does it generally take before reaching 20 GP mined? I'm at a 4k total with zero mined yet.
Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!
cute story, just wish it had some sort of twist, like Wade's first job was in the attic and he created himself a little oasis of escape while his wife thought he was working on fixing stuff in the attic
Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!
interesting, think i'm going to go searching for more political poems after this. it's not till the end that I even have a clue which side you're leaning on, or even if you're on a side; and I like that.
"As they fold blindly and aimlessly
Towards every wayward,
Unison, frothy discourse."
could be Republicans, they are certainly more unified than, Dems, but it could also be Dems
"Of this notorious, yet functional
President of the wealthy
And working Union. "
now, my favorite word here is "functional"
are you supporting Trump or merely pointing out that this is the politician we deserve given our careless and wanton approach to politics over the past...ever
perhaps I don't know enough about sports but the end didn't make much sense to me, sounded like forced rhymes: "Own the grooves, Earth’s shorter axis.
Tomorrow’s built and where the max is;
Just keep vying, no new taxes. "
tomorrow we'll keep striving for the 'max'? perfection? ok
'no new taxes'? taxing workouts? i dunno, disappointing end
"Gravitate toward being clutch.
Doing more serves as the crutch;
Attempt to shoulder these and such."
doing more is a crutch? how so? over performing maybe and making more mistakes?
'such' sounds like a very forced rhyme; perhaps "Attempt to shoulder these 'too much' " as another nod to working too hard and "doing more"
this poem makes you think but not quite in the way you intended I think, I'm more distracted with the clumsy rhymes than the good moral of the poem
I like how you use words like "superb, stylish, and classy" I feel like you're looking at their clothes and how they keep themselves together, not just their looks
I take it you like to do stuff in the car?
Interesting how you say "We might pose a subversive and chancy question" that's a cute way of saying 'talk dirty'
I like the word usage in this poem but overall it's too vague, instead of using terms like "we might" and "their homes" try telling a 1st person narrative to draw the reader in and make them feel like a part of the story, or better yet, make them want to be you
ooooo, I like how you juxtaposed a mirror with an earth crystal/jewel
interesting piece, would appreciate some capitalization for some sort of style
not sure I get "placed together again"; I assume that's referring to the broken person who doesn't like what they see in the mirror but it may not quite work with the crystal analogy but then again maybe a geology lover would know better
the last line puts me in the mind of 'uniqueness is better then our own trivial expectations of beauty'
I like how you start out by explaining your fairy's name.
I also like how you number and label all your various collections.
I for one am curious as to what makes a rising star. I've always been a bit jealous that I wasn't picked out and sponsored when I first arrived, but the yellow case made it all better
I look forward to returning and perusing your port at my leisure.
I found my way here by way of the random "Read and Review" link.
sounds interesting, i like that she's most afraid of losing her job, what will she do to keep it? probably go to counseling, but how/where/when will she find relief and what pitfalls will trip her up along the way?
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Comedy Review!
Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!
Initial hook: it's amazing how brainwashed we all are, I couldn't think of another answer first if I tried
Theme: Un-da the Sea!
Atmosphere/Tone: random comedy
What I liked: diversity of answers
A few parting comments...
wish you were around to give the background on this one and so I could see the related item; proud of myself because I chose "I eat pineapples for breakfast!!!" cuz that sounds tasty right about now...'yo mama!' was a good one too...
It's impressive how many responses you guys got on this poll!
Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!
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Comedy Review!
Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!
Initial hook: too cute, love the title and mostly successful rhymes!
Theme: #unplugged
Characters: typical 4.0 suburban tech family
Setting: digital home to the natural wilderness
Atmosphere/Tone: Millennial; digital; then familial
What I liked: use of the pizza emoji!; tweets from the birdies;
“It Sprg Br8k,” replied my son and
“smh…girl ain’t got no butt for that dress”
To Facebook my daughter posted that mess HA!
A few comments/suggestions I had:
(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)
“..., starting tomorrow”
I then heard a gasp of guttural horror we maybe be stuck with the pseudo rhyme, but to help the flow maybe: 'Then I heard gasps...' OR 'Then came the gasp, 'O the HORROR!'
A few parting comments...
I'm impressed that a Dad knew so much tech-crap jargin, I had to look at your Bio to get a glimpse of your age or at least what you do for a living; 43 at time of writing, gives you Kewl Kredits ;-P even as an Engineer you could choose to stay out the loop but sounds like you enjoy dallying with the rest of us silly creatures!
Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!
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Comedy Review!
Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!
Initial hook: I like these 'what if' analogies
What I liked: the premise
A few parting comments...
were their more characters? I'm not that familiar but I remember Gilligan, Professor and Skipper then "the millionaire and his wife, the movie star, and...other people ;
haven't they had celebrity survivor? it would be amazing to see the actual actors have to survive for a week or two, but the surviving cast is probably too old...time for a reboot!
what even prompted this topic?!
was thinking 3.5 stars but this trip down memory lane (theme song's stuck in my head) and the imagination spark bumped it to 4
Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!
Favorite lines: Somehow it's time
For appointments I made
...
To now be recognized and kept.
This is almost eerie because it's like 'what appointments are those?!'
Interesting: your double use of "somehow", trips me up when I hear people use that in real life, as if their actions (or those made by the world) are of no consequence
oooo, I like-a this; the color and center justification works well; nonet's are fun, think I'll do a few for NaPoWriMo
only suggestion: comma after first line
thinking too much: 'drops to set' makes me think it's at least past noon, but since poem is so short this doesn't add much but is a nice puzzle piece to fit the syllable requirement!
This is a
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Comedy Review!
Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!
Initial hook: the topic drew me in and the 'golf course' story flow of it kept me interested
Theme: the strength of abstinence
Storyline: workaholic turns church volunteer end in an exciting rendezvous with his wife
Atmosphere/Tone: bit exaggerated/print version of a joke mature/old men tell their friends
Dialogue: I liked the characteristic of the pastor was paying attention to the couple every week then his inner monologue towards the end
What I liked: the willingness of the husband to go along with the test
A few comments/suggestions I had:
Grammar Nazi stuff don't start sentences with 'and'/'but';
the young people they will be working with, [comma] that it is the best policy."
A few parting comments...
the first two lines make me think this is a true story, is it true? what happened after this, did the husband make more family time?
Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!
cute, very straightforward, I can imagine you writing this while sitting in a park...or on my college campus (then again, at my school the squirrels would probably mug you and run off with your writing utensils)
if there is a pattern, it's not obvious, I suggest posting the style
3.5/5 because on it's own it's just not...exciting/interesting enough, though it looks like a great warm-up piece and would go nicely with an illustration
Having gone through a break down and coming out the other side a much more self-possessed individual, I feel even more strongly about this particular stigma.
It's all about ego really....
I think everyone suffers from mental 'illness' for the simple fact that we all have brains [supposedly].
It's safe to say everyone will get physically sick/ill at least once in their life. So then why is it not safe to say every living being will experience varying degrees of mental health in a typical lifespan?
Thank you for sharing!
4.5/5 because I like to see headers/bold/some form of topic separation in OpEd pieces.
I can see this next to a vibrant spring mural depicting all of these things. On it's own I recommend playing with the text colors and line placement [for instance, centering the text would bring more life to it].
Without even listening to my first poem I know I LOOOVE THIS IDEA! I just want to give the same suggestion I gave the WDC Live program:
I can't always watch YouTube at work and it takes up bandwidth when not using WiFi. In addition to videos, can you also suggest mp3 submissions to be placed in a podcast? Also, in the interest of space conservation, adding dropdown lists for those with more than 5 poems would be awesome. If interested in either, I am available to help!
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