What a wonderful poem! It's such a creative example of how sometimes, we as humans can't understand everything God has worked out in His plan for us. It's a wonderful metaphor. I especially like how you used the single word "God" in line 5 for emphasis before moving on to the main message of your poem. It really brings the focus back to Him. Fantastic work. :)
Wow, this is great. You really hit the nail on the head in terms of how messed up the system is. It's a shame, but a lot of the government really is "all about money." What makes your story stand out, however, from the common complain-about-government sort of stories, is the message. A call to everyone to govern (or vote, for us non-political folks) from our conscience, regardless of what the establishment or money tells you. Maybe if more politicians read this sort of thing, this country would be in a better state than it currently is.
Just a quick question: is there a reason why you mentioned two different characters with coincidentally similar names to car manufacturers? It seems like too strange of a coincidence for both characters to have it, unless it was important in some way. Someone once said that (for short stories) if you mention a gun hanging on the wall in the first paragraph, it sure as heck better get fired by the last. For something as small as notes about last names, it's really not that important; it's just something that stood out to me.
I think my favorite part of this poem is the multitude of themes expressed in five short stanzas. From the meaning of life and work versus play to love and self esteem, this poem really exhibits the multitude of conflicts and factors that influence how a person's character can be formed. As a person probably more like the narrator's sister, (s)he really makes a case for letting go of life a bit more than our busy, stressful world will let us think we can. Fantastic work!
I love this! You can really picture the vibrant shades of green you are describing in this poem, which is especially good because you don't ever use the word 'Green'! The only criticism I might have is in line 2. You were shortening "beneath" to "'neath," right? You might want to add an apostrophe before the word to stand for the bit of the word you cut out ('neath), so the reader doesn't get confused. Other than that, fantastic work!
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