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Review of The Sound  Open in new Window.
Review by Centrinox Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Your short story is very well written, gramatically solid, and error free concerning spelling, syntax, punctuation etc. I could find very little, if anything, to make editing comments about which is a fairly rare occurence for me.

The story flowed well and the characters were fairly well defined. My only character hitch was with the father. The relationship seems to be strained for some reason and that is my hitch. What is the reason the father would make a comment such as "Do you stay up nights trying to come up with new ways to embarrass us?" No where in the story is there an indication that his parental relationship is strained so I was rather surprised by this. Also, why is it easier for the protagonist to make up a story about gambling than to just tell the truth? Does he believe the truth is not believable?

Anyhow, pretty good though predicatable ending. I don't know how I would have ended it differently or if there even is a different way to end it.
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