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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/ajgair
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14 Public Reviews Given
82 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of A Love So Divine  Open in new Window.
Review by PuppyPooka Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Despite my usual feelings of hatred for loose poetic forms, I enjoyed your poem. It created a clear and nice picture of the relationship. One line puzzles me: "Offered no elicit futility on the subject" - I just can't figure out what you meant by this, and I worry that it inhibits my understanding of your poem.
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Review of Bruised  Open in new Window.
Review by PuppyPooka Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Oh, I like this! Partly because it actually has a clear rhyme and rhythm (I'm rather sick of free verse), but also because it takes a simple feeling, one everyone has - the idea of an internal bruise - and expresses it neatly and vividly. I'd suggest moving your fourth stanza up into the second stanza's place; where it's at now, it seems a bit disjointed - just a suggestion.
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Review of Inside My Head  Open in new Window.
Review by PuppyPooka Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
My favourite line was "I want to sing my version of the blues," which I found quite powerful. I don't know who Marlene Cummins is - but now I want to find out - and even without knowing, your poem spoke to me. One minor note - rhythm is spelt with two 'h's, not as 'rythm'. Keep writing!
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