This story has the foundation necessary to construct a touching little tale of childhood friendship. But it reads like a quickly tossed off first draft. The characters are all recognizable types but they are not uniquely fleshed-out people. The plot points in the relationship between the child and the bird are all in place, but they are simply planted in place like road signs and carry little emotional heft. The parts of the story begging to be the most affecting are recounted with the same matter-of-fact summarization as the rest of the piece. Too much show, not enough tell. The spelling and grammar are also all over the place. I don't want to be too hard on the story. Its heart is in the right place and it clearly means something to the author. With some rewriting this could be as moving as the best of Judy Blume. It's just not there yet. Don't take these criticisms too hard. Keep writing, keep being tough on yourself, and you will start to write stories every bit as touching as this one wants to be.
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