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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/akaru
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12 Public Reviews Given
12 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Xeno Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This are some good educational statements, it gives enlightenment to those people who doesn't understand these complicated yet simple things. Each line gives different perspectives and broadens the complexity, and slowly narrowing into an acceptable idea. Keep writing, and always be well! ^__^


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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Review of Dear Me  Open in new Window.
Review by Xeno Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey! I know I am talking to your current self! I just want you to know that you must continue to write with all your heart and effort.

Also remember what your past self said:

When you came here you had a couple, but now you don't seem to have as much to say. Of course, experiences can only take you so far, and you did a fair bit in sharing, but what now? Well, in this year you need to come up with an idea, and at least put a long draft to paper, and maybe more. So, yeah, it's a good plan. You go for it!
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Review by Xeno Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey! Thank you so much for this! It gave me a new idea about Quartz Clock! Very helpful and informative! This paragraph gave me the basic knowledge about the rest:

The quartz clock was developed by Warren Marrison and J.W. Horton in the year 1927. The invention of the quartz clock was an improvement to the pendulum clock that had earlier been invented in 1583 by Galileo Galilei. Unlike the pendulum clock, the quartz clock was designed to be powered by a battery to shift gears at intervals and indicate elapsed time through quartz crystals. Quartz clock is recognized as a milestone in timekeeping. “Since ancient times, man has had a deep interest in timekeeping to enhance cooperation with other members in society,” says Warren.
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Review of THE ONWARD MARCH  Open in new Window.
Review by Xeno Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey! Thank you for that wonderful poem! It truly does inspire people that everything is good and normal! Keep up the good work!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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Review by Xeno Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Let's review piece per piece.

"Life has a beginning and end, that one day must meet.
Mine has come full circle, it is now complete."

>> Now that is a strong introduction, it is brief but it tells 80% of the poetry.

"I once was here, now I'm gone.
Never had a reason to live, till you came along."

>> This phrase is really purposive; a good explanation for what an affection or love can do.

"Never knowing what our future holds,
We always planned of growing old."

>> A follow up purposive statement mixed with ambitious memory.

"My time has come to leave you behind,
You must think I'm hard to find."

>> Omniscient point of view, recalls a gloomy memory.

"I am close, I am not that far away.
I will always be with you, to help find your way."

>> A promise from the speaker to it's lover.

"Promise me any tears you shed,
are for the fun times we shared, the life I lead."

>> Now, this is a phrase where the title suits.

"Life’s choices I've made, no regrets nor shame.
If I had to do over, I would do just the same."

>> From memories to acceptance of fate. Good transition.

"My life was a journey that's come to an end,
Now I ride in peace, till we meet again."

>> With the help of the previous transition, farewell message became more painful.

"I must go now I'm not alone,
Jesus is here to take me home."

>> Adding Religious beliefs are good to poetry.

"I wish I had more time to stay,
Heaven awaits, I'll be on my way."

>> Post wishes can be a good spice, it gives more emotional vibe.

"Now here in heaven, is were I'll be.
To meet again, in heaven you must believe."

>> The death occurred and the speaker is now on the other side.

---

Poetry is a good choice for this message, it gives the message more art.
The grammar is good, and overall, this piece is a great start for you.
A little advice: You must add more words into your vocabulary, it is not a must, but specific and broad terms can be expressed even more new words.

Keep on writing, take your time, never rush. It is fine to be slow, sometimes...

"Being slow allows you to meet your inner self."

Bye.
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Review by Xeno Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Really interesting poem. Free writing is the best way to start your journey with poetry, continue on writing what your mind wants to say.
A weird idea supported by various philosophies are always unique, trust me. That is also my style. Keep on writing and give your best effort to every piece that you make.

-xeno
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Review by Xeno Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is just a normal type of poem, but it has a good description.
Keep writing!
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