Very delicate, almost an open-weave snowflake flittering down in the sunlight, I'd like to touch it, but touching it would end it's beauty. 'blissful greens' is my favorite part, I look out the window at the new spring growth and understand exactly what you're trying to paint a picture of. Generally I don't tend to enjoy the very sparse writing style which you've used here, but perhaps I've just not seen it done properly before. A lovely piece, thanks for sharing it.
Ellie's frantic search of her bag is a great way to open your story. Her dialogue is spot on for a teenage girl flailing in attempt to craft a clever tale. Very nice twist with the alternate assignment, something only a creative writing writing teacher would propose. A good response to the prompt, best of luck in the contest.
just a couple minor grammatical errors, in the first paragraph "kids always threaten to take of her wig", I believe you mean to say off.
In the sixth paragraph, 'Can anyone here me doing this?' should be hear.
I like the kid's outlandish tale of aliens, he's quite a charming little liar. The teacher's corrections, both grammar and regarding small pox are in perfect tone for the stereotypical witchy-looking tough cookie of a teacher. Overall it's a good effort, keep that pen moving.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/allison_k
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 6:15pm on Nov 21, 2024 via server WEBX1.