I gave you a Four Rating. This was a fun read. The style was a little tongue in cheek and lifted it above what to me would have been average.
The story as such was well thought out - but not over deep on detail. You still kept the flow moving well ...and you even kept the rhyme scheme! I also liked that you managed to give the verbalization a bit of an old-world accent by your word choice.
Take care,
Chris
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