My god, this was simply amazing! The rhyme and rhythm are impeccable, your word choice is spot on, and the repetitive of the opening line at the end was melodic! Solid piece!
Dang, I felt this in my bones. Just know you're not alone! I think most of us are tired. Your piece made me ache for you, for me, for all of us. I hope you get some rest - not just a nap, but some ease of mind, a balm for your weary soul. This was such a powerful and poignant testimony. Thank you for sharing it and best of luck in the coming months! May the sun shine bright in your corner, friend!
I don't know if this was a poem, but it certainly FELT poetic! I loved your use of alliteration. And the sentence "I am profitable" was almost shocking after the lively descriptions. I really enjoyed this piece, and I'll be thinking on it over the next several days. It was extremely provocative (in a good way) - nostalgic and tragic without being maudlin or macabre. Gosh, you managed to really move me in such a small amount of words!
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