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for entry "Invalid Entry" Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi ,

I chose to review your item today as part of I Write.

I enjoyed your short poem.

The use of anaphora (the repetition of "Mommy, I'm bored.") nicely mirrors the way a conversation with a child can go.

You maintain a relaxed conversational tone throughout your poem, and you can just imagine the parent slowly being driven mad. I know I did that to my parents all the time when I was a little un.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!


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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


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for entry "Collector's Item" Open in new Window.
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi GERVIC Author Icon,


*Vine2**PoseyB**Vine1* *Vine2**PoseyO**Vine1* *Vine2**PoseyP**Vine1* *Rainbowl**Rainbowr* *Vine2**PoseyR**Vine1* *Vine2**PoseyV**Vine1* *Vine2**PoseyY**Vine1*
This is a review from "Poetry Review Garden [on hiatus]" Open in new Window..
*Vine2**PoseyB**Vine1* *Vine2**PoseyO**Vine1* *Vine2**PoseyP**Vine1* *Tree2* *Vine2**PoseyR**Vine1* *Vine2**PoseyV**Vine1* *Vine2**PoseyY**Vine1*


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I love your take on the prompt. The narrative reminds me of The Purge films, with people running around in costumes killing and maiming.

The poem kept me reading from start to end. I particularly liked the closing stanza. The reader gets swept along in the horror and violence of Bunnie and Bonnie, but you provide the reader with a way to stay safe, just like in The Purge.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!


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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi GERVIC Author Icon,


*Vine2**PoseyB**Vine1* *Vine2**PoseyO**Vine1* *Vine2**PoseyP**Vine1* *Rainbowl**Rainbowr* *Vine2**PoseyR**Vine1* *Vine2**PoseyV**Vine1* *Vine2**PoseyY**Vine1*
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*Vine2**PoseyB**Vine1* *Vine2**PoseyO**Vine1* *Vine2**PoseyP**Vine1* *Tree2* *Vine2**PoseyR**Vine1* *Vine2**PoseyV**Vine1* *Vine2**PoseyY**Vine1*


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I love the contrast in your poem. Although the two sections contrast, they merge to form a single image of the passage of time. In some respects the concept of your poetry form is similar to a septolet, which serves to create a single image from two different (but not contrasting) perspecives.

You make excellent use of personification in your poem to bring nature to life. I especially enjoyed the visual of winter's "choking hugs". This is something we can empathise with as it is something we experience ourselves in the depths of winter.

I also liked how the attitude of the trees changed between winter and spring. Using birdsong as the thing that makes the trees happy in spring is a nice touch.

I love the visual you create in the first stanza of "Springtime is In". The use of synonyms for colour, rather than repeating the same word, and the use of language referring to spring as a "colossal canvas" is really clever.

The last line is a really nice way to end the poem as it captures the quintessential essence of spring.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!


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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


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4
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for entry "icicle musings" Open in new Window.
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Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
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You make excellent use of personification throughout this winter poem, but I particularly enjoyed the emotional content.

The first two stanzas do a great job of explaining the science behind icicle formation, yet they are so full of emotion. The opening lines are absolutely haunting, and they are further enhanced by the reminder you provide in the beginning of the second stanza.

I love the contrast in the third stanza of the natural icicle to the artificial Christmas decorations. I did chuckle over the almost vanity of the icicle in the closing lines of this stanza.

The fourth stanza is really emotive as the icicle describes it magical ability to split the spectrum of the sun at the possible cost of its own life.

The final stanza does a great job of bringing us back to the opening of your poem. I love both this envelope sensation as it perfectly mirrors the cycle of what happens in nature, and even your icicle realises this as it voices its own sensation of death and rebirth.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

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5
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Review of Open House  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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That was a clever idea for this short story.

I wonder what it be like is something like that happened in real life. At least they seem to be able to work around their past, if not able to forgive or forget it.

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Review of Blowing Winds  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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I love the personification of the winds in this short story. It reminds me of the scene in Sound of Music where Maria describes storms as the lightening saying something and the thunder answering back.

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Review of An Important Test  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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Now that's how to tell a story in only 130 words.

The ending caught me completely off-guard. The dialogue gave away nothing of what the story was about.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!


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Review of Time's Up  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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What is with you always portraying computers as the bad guy *Laugh* Though I know they deserve it.

I like the dialogue, and Rose's last line, which should be serious, actually gave me a chuckle.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

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9
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Review of It's a Fine Line  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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This is a really moving short story. You have done a great job of capturing Sally's internal dialogue, and it is easy to see people with dementia reflected in that.

This reminds me so much of when I used to visit my great-grandmother. One day I was her son, the next day I was one of her doctors, and then on special days she thought I was Winston Churchill.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

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10
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Review of Disenchantment  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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That was absolutely hilarious *Laugh*

I loved the back-and-forth, and I thought it was like either a married couple or two kids who are friends.

Poor Mitzi. I don't know if something like that has ever happened, but that could be the next Lolcatz meme.

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11
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Review of Fun Times  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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Ah yes, the power of the Trip Advisor review.

The food was great, but the restaurant wouldn't allow me to break the law, and they dumped me outside on my ass. Overall I give them one star *Laugh*

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12
12
Review of Winter is Coming  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Well that was something different.

This is one reason why I love living in England. For me, it's winter is coming, where's my hot water bottle? *Laugh*

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Review of Your Last Chance  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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This is why you never disrespect your mother's cooking. Momma gonna make you pay *Laugh*

But I loved the opening where not even the dog would eat the food.

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Review of Bothersome  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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That was an interesting idea for a news story.

You really only get the whole knocking on a neighbour's door asking for something and end up being dragged in for tea and biscuits with the old folks.

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Review of Charming  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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This is a nice tale on the Prince Charming story.

I'm not sure what to make of Mark. Even his closing lines sound more sarcastic and cruel than genuinely caring.

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Review of Mystery  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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A mystery indeed.

Jody sounds like the quintessential bullying big brother, but George isn't about to let that stop him. George has successfully solved one mystery, but now he has another one to solve.

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Review of Christmas Lights  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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This is a nice little Christmas story.

I liked the image of the poor dog with all the Christmas lights wrapped around her. Good to see Santa and his elves out checking who's been naughty and who's been nice.

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Review of Bad Dream  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Well that's a crazy dream. I've had some odd dreams in my time, but that one takes the biscuit.

So Mary is a bit of a sleepwalker. It's interesting that sometimes people will do things in their dreams and when they wake up they find they've done something similar.

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Review of Enough  Open in new Window.
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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This is absolutely priceless. You've created a thoughtful piece of flash fiction in only 169 words.

I wondered just what you could do with a story this short. You provided so few details to the couple, and then the story looked like it was going to finish so abruptly with Jodie leaving you could hardly call it a story. But then you gave us the last line.

The ending is great, and it turned the whole thing into a complete story. I wonder just what kind of stories all the flies on all the walls in the world could tell us.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

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Review of Push the Button  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Well that ending really sucks! *Laugh*

I wonder what on earth went on to warrant that kind of ending. I really like that aspect of this story as it allows the reader to make up their own story.

So the pair of them were only following orders. Something used far too often to defend the worst atrocities humans have committed.

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Review of Rules of the Road  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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That was a little different. Not the usual type of story I've come across so far.

It's an interesting little story, and I wonder how many people there are on the road like George with no license and who can't read the scenes. Based on what I see of drivers here in London, I don't think any of them passed their driving test *Laugh*

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Review of Prime Memory  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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It's very important for the geewhiz to function correctly *Laugh*

I loved the nerdy sciency stuff. I can just imagine Harry having a large science book and beating George about the head with it.

I had to laugh when Harry this is rocket science.

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Review of Still Life Shot  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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This was a funny story.

I love the detail and imagery you include. I liked the dominoes of the falling over in the the third paragraph. The final paragraph conjures the song of thold old woman who swallowed a fly.

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Review of The Puzzle  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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It is so sad when someone has this kind of memory issue. My grandmother had senile dementia, and this is so familiar.

The idea of the puzzle being a memorial is really poignant way to end the story.

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Review of Glitter  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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Now, those are some deep down Covid crazies *Laugh*

I like the pace and build-up of the story. I also like that you took the prompt and incorporated yourself into the story.

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