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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/annette
Review Requests: OFF
5,256 Public Reviews Given
6,160 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I give in-line comments. That means, I will copy your whole story into the review box and then leave comments in a different color or font or size within the text.
I'm good at...
I can give you some pointers for US-English grammar or spelling if needed, but if the whole story is in need of grammar and spelling fixes, I will only give you 1-2 examples.
Favorite Genres
Action/adventure, fantasy, sci-fi, steampunk, dieselpunk, electropunk, cyberpunk, romance, adult, mystery and more.
Least Favorite Genres
I will not read vore, zombies, horror.
Favorite Item Types
I prefer short stories.
Least Favorite Item Types
I do not review poetry or whole novels. I also don't review texts that don't have any paragraph breaks.
I will not review...
Do not ask me to review unfinished drafts without an attempt at an ending. Do not ask me to review anything with violence toward children or women. For each of those events, I will stop reading and rate 1 star. That is the contract you enter into if you request a review from me.
Public Reviews
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Review by Annette Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome to WdC from "Review a Newbie" Open in new Window. & "The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.




Your username and handle seem to be related to the way that this piece reads. You've worked very hard, as early as the first years of school, toward a specific goal. Now, this goal seems to be off-limits. I can understand that attempting something for nine times and still not see the end of it can feel daunting and, yes, it does take away hope.

One thing that I can tell you is that you are a very good writer. This text is factual, yet emotional. It is informative, specific, and gives a good bit of background.

One thing that I am not clear on is what a "Chartered Accountant" is. This may be a difference in countries. I live in the USA where accountants are usually CPAs, meaning Certified Public Accountants. I am not sure why it's called "Public" since most of them work in the private sector.

So far, I have only taken one accounting class. It wasn't hard, it wasn't easy. It just was there. Of course, the next classes are bound to be much harder.

I hope that you don't give up on your dream. At this point, you've made it too far to give up. I wonder if a vacation, or just not taking the next available test but one in a few months from now will be the one that gets you over the hump.

Keep on keeping up!

Annette
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Review by Annette Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Reviewing signature for the B.E.A.R. Fund.


Hello TammyRicheson Author Icon,

I noticed that you just joined. Welcome to Writing.Com. It's a fun place to be.

The text makes me wonder whether you identify as Native American or native of another area. Your list of animals and the reasons why you adore each of them is well presented. I could follow your descriptions easily.

If you want to expand on this piece and make it a little more professional, consider a few edits. Numbers up to ten are always spelled out, so the second word here should be "one" instead of 1.

In the sentence with the bald eagles, you go from plural to singular. Choose one and stick with it.

I can't agree more with your assessment about wolves. They are very versatile group members.

If/when you have the time and muse, add a little something to your Biography. Just as much as you're comfortable with, but also enough that readers can get a little background about you to help with the understanding of your writing.
3
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Review of Dreamcatcher  Open in new Window.
Review by Annette Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*




The intro line gave some of the story away, but you still achieved to make this story come to life with the details you gave it.

My favorite part is how you describe the jostling, snarling, and finally tearing of the web. Super vivid!

There weren't any spelling or grammar issues that would have jumped out at me, so I don't have anything to say in regards to that.

Annette
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"The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.
4
4
Review of June 15--Dog  Open in new Window.
Review by Annette Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*




As a (still relatively recent) pet owner, this piece hits hard. I was obviously aware of puppy mills, animal hoarding, and the sad reality of the shelter system. Only when my cat adopted me was I confronted with the harsh reality that companion animals endure. Sure, those who have loving homes are living charmed lives. The millions of others barely survive.

Your piece was very immersive since it was told from the dog's point of view.

You have one instance of a misplaced "a."

"It literally is a trickle down affect." This should be effect.

Heartbreaking but also beautiful story of a pet who gets its deserved loving home.

Annette
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"The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.
5
5
Review by Annette Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*




I discovered this blog inside of "Behold! My Solitude " Open in new Window..

Those Simpson versions of you and your daughter are a hoot. How did you do that? I wonder what my family would look like.

The blog announces to be a daily blog, and there was an entry yesterday, but then the one before that was from last September. Keeping up anything every day is very difficult. At the same time, it can be easy if you let yourself cut corners on some days. For instance, "Complex Numbers" Open in new Window. has been going for two? three? four? years every day by now. But there are days when the entry literally says: I'm traveling in XYZ place and have too much fun to write about it. So cut yourself some slack in length and quality, but push through to make it daily. See how far you can get.

Very attractive header for the blog.

Annette
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"The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.
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Review of Leave Your Prints  Open in new Window.
Review by Annette Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


Hello Sunny Author Icon


This is a cool place you've set up for visitors in your portfolio.

This has an attractive banner and the small amount of text explains the intention of this item well.

I noticed that you have a lot of links in your portfolio header, but this forum here is just a simple "leave a greeting" place.
I wonder if this page would benefit from a couple of links to your favorite writing so that people who come to send you a review know where you would like them to look first.

Annette
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"The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.
7
7
Review of Seashells  Open in new Window.
Review by Annette Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Huntersmoon,

This is a fun acrostic. You definitely achieved to create an image in my mind.

I wonder if the presentation would be more striking if the text were centered.

What is "shussing?"

Seashells are also sometimes homes for creatures that didn't make them.

Very pretty.
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Review of Saviour  Open in new Window.
Review by Annette Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello John Johnny Johnson,

This very short piece makes a bold statement. However, the world can also mean someone's life or their immediate environment. So, getting saved by a son is entirely possible even without being Superman's parent.

The second sentence is a little cryptic. It makes me want to ask questions, but I'm not sure what the questions could be that would yield an answer.

Great job writing a whole story in two sentences and ending it on a cliffhanger.
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Review of The Bradbury  Open in new Window.
Review by Annette Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Jeff,

I read over the "The Bradbury Contest" Open in new Window. page and I find that the updated rules are much more clear. I now fully understand how these to forums fit together.

I love that you have a merit badge for the winners and one for the donors set up. That way, everyone can have a hand in this, but those who go the distance also end up with a special prize.

I will try my best to take part.

Annette
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Review by Annette Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Jeff,

After reading over both of your Bradbury forum pages, I think this one can use a small tweak.

At the top of each forum page, you give the same call to action: "We're going to put that theory to the test, and challenge you to write 52 short stories in 2025!"

This contest page looks like it's designed to get one entry per month since the rounds go from the first to the last day of each month and the entries have to be labelled with the month name.

This raises the question whether contestants are allowed to / expected to write four entries each month?

Leaving the call to action the same on both forum pages is probably okay, but there needs to be a sentence that makes it iron-clad that this page is for 12 or 52 entries in 2025.

One more question: will there be prompts for the contest rounds?

Even with all of my questions and confusion, this is clearly a five star page. I hope I can keep up with it.
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Review of give me a job  Open in new Window.
Review by Annette Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello Yanatea,

This short bit of writing reads like a cry for help. The title that asks for a job makes it clear that you're not here for a handout, but for a way to earn enough so that you can afford food and other things.

Starting out with a lowercase first letter and ending with a cut off word gives this piece an added feel of desperation. Very good use of writing to not only convey a message but a feeling too.
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Review of Turkey Trifecta  Open in new Window.
Review by Annette Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello TGI Fisher,

I found this piece on Read & Review.

The three turkey poems are a fun and silly treat.

Those turkeys all meet the same fate, but each of them in a unique way.

Turkey Trot was clever like Wilhelm Busch.

Chef's Special had a funny pun ending.

Turkey Surprise was the bomb!

Perfect spelling, good font size and perfect use of white space.

Well done!
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Review of Fish Eyes  Open in new Window.
Review by Annette Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Norma Jean Trent,

This story is kind of dark, but the tone that you chose made it kind of funny in the end. Although it wasn't funny for the first person narrator. The good news is that, since they are able to tell the story, they survived being thrown through a window and into a cold river that stinks of dead fish, oil, and sewage. I hope they took a nice hot shower after that.

Fun read!

Annette
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Review of Traditions  Open in new Window.
Review by Annette Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Dave Author Icon,

I am here with a review for your holiday themed poem because I am taking part in "12 Days Of Christmas 2024" Open in new Window..

Earlier, I saw a similar poem. I like that you chose to decorate your tree with a *Star* at the top. Not only that, but you also made good use of green, red, brown, and bold along with festive *Bulbp* decorations. Your poem truly looks like the kind of tree that could be in someone's house.

A few weeks ago, I thought about getting a giant Christmas tree for this year. And then I remembered that I have three cats. They would either eat it or jump on it. Probably both. So, no tree for us.

You are so right that children expecting (and deserving) presents for Christmas is an old tradition. Although it's been very commercialized, there is still something warm and fuzzy about seeing kids get a wished-for toy. That's a feeling that can't be bought.

Very pretty poem.

Annette
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Review by Annette Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Marushka Author Icon,

I am here with a review for your holiday themed poem because I am taking part in "12 Days Of Christmas 2024" Open in new Window..

The intro line about the bathroom that sprang a leak before Christmas is hitting home. That exact thing just happened to me. The workers just finished the drywall yesterday and we still have to get the plumber out to put some of the pipes back together.

Yup. The poem confirms it. Water. Drywall. Fans. It's all there. It was all here. What a mess that it was the commode!

The ending of the poem, upbeat and with a positive outlook, made everything better. Of course, it might be a little tight with sharing a bathroom. But everything will work out in the end.

As mentioned, this one hit home. I hope that it won't ever happen again to you or to me.

Merry Christmas.

Annette
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Review by Annette Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello ChristineB Author Icon,

I am here with a review for your holiday themed piece because I am taking part in "12 Days Of Christmas 2024" Open in new Window..

This is very funny story to read. It made me laugh at the end.

A couple of observations. This piece is listed as poetry, but it's really a short story or micro fiction.

I like how it's not very clear if the actors are actual ghosts that are having fun with each other or if they are fully alive actors who are pretending to be ghosts.

The way the Ghost of Christmas Past takes the word "present" literal and ends up giving Mr. Scrooge, who is a scrooge, a present in a big box was a good way to play with words.

Why did you add Ms. and Mr.? These ghosts could have just had their names without those added titles. Although they aren't wrong either. I was mostly surprised by Ms. Poltergeist. I thought that's more of a job description than a name.

Keep writing.

Annette
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Review by Annette Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Jacky Author Icon,

I am here with a review for your holiday themed story because I am taking part in "12 Days Of Christmas 2024" Open in new Window..

The ending is too funny. It leaves me with one question though. The car that was in the driveway was mom's car. For Christmas, dad got "the" car super cleaned. Did he get his own car super cleaned? That would be something to make a little more clear since the story has a whole segment about where mom's car parks.

Of course kids don't want to get clothes for Christmas. Ha ha.

The time jump to when the kids are not only grown up but even had long careers was an interesting narrative choice. Are those people that you know? Was it a memory that you used for this story? Her career didn't seem to be a big deal for the overall story.

Even with the confusion about whose car was washed and my question about Melanie's professional choices, this was a vivid story full of things happening and a good mystery that luckily gets solved in the end.

Annette
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Review of On This Night  Open in new Window.
Review by Annette Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Purple OnePride Author Icon,

I am here with a review for your holiday themed poem because I am taking part in "12 Days Of Christmas 2024" Open in new Window..

Aw. This is so sweet. Looking forward not to presents, but to the delight of a child who will open up presents is truly what this whole thing is about. It's fun to see children enjoy their new toys, clothes, gimmicks, and the festive foods of the season.

Starting out with "I" made you able to have a perfect pine tree shape with a sharp tip. Considering that a Christmas tree can have a star at the top, a three letter word could have also worked. Although I can't think of a good one.

This poem made me laugh a little when it said to sleep and to snore and smile when it said her smiles of wonder.

Well written.

Annette
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Review of The Big Gift  Open in new Window.
Review by Annette Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello dragonwoman Author Icon,

I am here with a review for your holiday themed story because I am taking part in "12 Days Of Christmas 2024" Open in new Window..

The suspense! What in the world is Kat's present? Is the thumbnail of a horse and the general descriptions of a barn and living on a farm a hint at a horse or a pony? Or is it something else? Argh! I caint stand the suspense! To say it with Kat. That was some really good accent writing by the way. Usually, it's hard to incorporate regional ways of talking without making the accent too thick or watering it down, but yours here was on point.

The story was very visual. I was right there with the protagonists.

Very good writing that roped me in and leaves me wondering. If this were a book, I would turn the pages until I found out what the present was.

Keep writing.

Annette
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Review by Annette Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello Sarah Author Icon,

I am here with a review for your holiday themed article because I am taking part in "12 Days Of Christmas 2024" Open in new Window..

Very thought-provoking article. It is at timely, but also a reminder how "the more things change, the more they stay the same."

The article mentions how some people are more interested in the price of an object or whether they can somehow turn it into clicks, likes, follows, etc. on social media. While the digital part is new to this century, young people reshaping the holidays, Christmas in particular, is not new. Christmas has been overtaken by consumerism a long time ago.

Your text seems to be penned off the cuff as if you were writing what came to your mind. That's perfectly fine. You could clean it up a little bit for spelling issues.

An example:

Christmas is just around the corner and what better way to celebrate than being together with your dear once. ones

Keep writing.

Annette
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Review by Annette Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Jacky Author Icon,

I am here with a review for your holiday themed story because I am taking part in "12 Days Of Christmas 2024" Open in new Window..

This was a fun read. I started guessing that Alex and Randy weren't kids or people when the window well was mentioned the first time. I like that you only gave away what they really are at the very end. Even if it was somewhat expected.

Three pounds! *Mindblown* That's a lot. Of course, it works for this kind of over the top story. It would be unusual for the likes of Alex and Randy to come up with a whole operation in which they empty out a kitchen worth of cookie racks.

There was one ending quotation mark missing:

“I think it’s amazing! Let’s get some before they come home!" They gathered and ran in and out several times.

Keep writing.

Annette
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Review of The Covid Rebel  Open in new Window.
Review by Annette Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Hello Luminementis,

While this fall and winter season has brought back some more mask wearing, I am glad that the surreal time when conversations like this one were happening constantly is over.

Your story flowed well and I could follow Billy and Dad's back and forth easily. The different colors helped.

One thing that I found difficult to parse out was who said what about evolution versus God's plan. I read both areas where that topic came up twice, but the double negatives surrounding the statements leave me not knowing what Billy, Dad, or Uncle Jimmy think on the matter.
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Review of Spell Books  Open in new Window.
Review by Annette Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Gervic,

Read and Review directed me to this item of yours.

I now notice that you've been busy with activities for the site for well over a decade. It makes me wonder where my mind was? I know about Dragon Vale and Trinket Adventure, but this one passed up my attention.

The page looks good. It shows your dedication to making things not only functional but also attractive.

Keep making this site the best it can be!
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Review by Annette Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.0)
Hello doctor,

This is an interesting piece in that it appears that you copied or consolidated facts about aloe vera from other sources. Since the claims in this text are of medicinal nature, you should cite your sources.

There is a formatting error in your comma placement. The comma is always flush with the word right before it, and not with the word after it.
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Review by Annette Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello Glisting,

I found this through the read & review function.

Is this a line from a hymn? Or is it a quote from the Bible?It reads like a religious text.

From a writing point of view, I have no comments as I am not sure you created it or merely reposted it.

You can add an explanation to your text.
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