Welcome to Writing.com. I found your item on the Newbie’s listing page and I thought I’d take a look.
Writing about the pains of love is often one of the most difficult topics because almost every poet has written a piece on it. In this piece you’ve expressed yourself well, and I was pleased to come across it.
By the way, it looks like you’ve posted this same item twice. You may want to delete one of them.
Have a wonderful day,
Anood
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
I’ve read through the last 15 or so entries in your journal and I think it’s rather interesting, insightful and very honest. I don’t think people could ask for much more from a personal journal.
You reviewed my journal a while back, and I apologize for taking so long to get to yours. I intended to do it much sooner, but life tends to get in the way sometimes.
A mommy’s love is the strongest love of all. I think this is a wonderfully inspirational, educational journal, and as soon as I saw this link, I placed it on my favorites list. As it’s new now, I look forward to watching it grow.
It's very cute when we are reading a book together and we come to a page with a robin or a duck --and Jonah pinches his tiny thumb and forefinger together to sign "bird."
This is the sort of love that only a mother will know. It almost made me cry, as fresh memories of my son saying the word “birdie” while we looked through a book rushed through my mind. I imagine the emotions connected with it are much stronger for a mother who knows her son may never talk, and yet is still learning to communicate.
Found your item here on the Newbie’s listing page. Welcome to Writing.com.
I can relate to what you’re trying to express here, and I really like the idea behind this, but I wonder if you couldn’t strengthen this piece by using less-common, possibly more in depth words?
Have yourself a wonderful day,
Anood
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Found your item here on the Newbie’s listing page. Welcome to Writing.com.
This short piece is full of emotion. I can sincerely relate to this, because I know the way my sons smile makes me feel. I just wish he’d stay small forever.
Have yourself a wonderful day,
Anood
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
This is so sincerely sweet, I’d have been in tears if I didn’t have such a wide smile feeling what you felt while writing this. You’ve written a wonderfully beautiful letter that expresses the good memories about a lost love one, while leaving out the longing that most works on death have in them. I know it’s there, but it’s no longer the prominent emotion. That makes this unique and genuine. I loved this letter. I hope, when I am gone, someone writes something so positive, like this, for me.
Wow! This is an incredibly strong and passionate piece that is sincerely morbid in tone and visualizations. It reads smoothly and I couldn’t suggest a thing to improve it! Well done!
Have a wonderful day,
Anood
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
"Invalid Item"
Are you interested in relationships with Arabs or Muslims? Check out this preface and the following chapters: "Invalid Item"
I loved this all the way through until the last line. It seemed almost shallow compared to the rest of this piece. There is so much mystery and it’s truly gripping until that very last, almost clichéd line. I suggest you end this with a strong statement, rather than a question of uncertainty.
Otherwise, this was brilliant as far as I could see.
Have a wonderful day,
Anood
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
"Invalid Item"
Are you interested in relationships with Arabs or Muslims? Check out this preface and the following chapters: "Invalid Item"
Humm, I think what you’re saying here has a lot of merit. I try to blind myself from seeing those who make themselves so much more than they are, and uplift those who are truly modest. I try to be modest myself.
I love reading your thoughts. They always make me think.
Have yourself a wonderful day,
Anood
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
This is a wonderfully written tribute to just one of the many stars who has somehow touched your life, and many others. A beautiful read, like much else I’ve read by you.
Have yourself a wonderful day,
Anood
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Though I found this was a very interesting line of thought, I wonder if there isn’t a way that you could re-word this to make it read easier. I understand that you’ve used dictionary definitions for the sake of this piece, but it does make reading rather difficult – your point is almost lost in all the punctuation and line breaks.
This is of course just my opinion.
Have yourself a wonderful day,
Anood
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Acrostics are always fun to write. But there are a few things you should clean up here. You’ve put spaces after the first letter of each word excepting the first line, and this makes it hard to read. Also here:
T till happiness fills the air <-- You need to remove the second “t”.
Hope this is helpful.
Have yourself a wonderful day,
Anood
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Anyone who’s ever suffered from depression can relate with these feelings and these thoughts. I sincerely hope that you’re feeling better by the time you read this. It gets better.
You’ve done a really good job describing yourself here, but because so many of us poets suffer, we write, and thus a lot of this sounds, to me like it’s already been said before. Maybe you could search for a more original spin on these emotions?!
Have yourself a wonderful day,
Anood
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Welcome to Writing.com! I found your items on the Newbie’s listing page and thought I’d take a look!
I did love this. I think you’ve done a fantastic job taking your reader into a world that’s painted vividly with tones of distinct and horrid emotions. This is an in-depth look at suicide. Well done!
If you have any questions about the site, please feel free to ask.
Have yourself a wonderful day,
Anood
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Welcome to Writing.com! I found your items on the Newbie’s listing page and thought I’d take a look!
I loved this look at you and the way you see yourself. This is really a fantastic read and I can sincerely relate to these thoughts, and emotions. You’ve written this wonderfully. Well done!
If you have any questions about the site, please feel free to ask.
Have yourself a wonderful day,
Anood
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Welcome to Writing.com! I found your items on the Newbie’s listing page and thought I’d take a look!
This is a really interesting line of thought, but you really have to ask yourself what all you’d be missing if it’d be this easy. Do you really want it?!
If you have any questions about the site, please feel free to ask.
Have yourself a wonderful day,
Anood
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
What a wonderfully descriptive piece of writing this is! You’ve used a fantastic metaphor, while allowing your reader to see vivid images of nature through your emotions! Well done!
Have yourself a wonderful day,
Anood
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
There is such a heart-wrenchingly sad truth to this piece, and I can certainly relate to atmosphere of emotions you’re expressing here. I do hope that you can live again soon, and me too.
Have yourself a wonderful day,
Anood
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
What an incredibly emotional read this is! I found the line of thought not only touching but also so sweet I wish someone think of me in this way. If I could suggest anything to improve this, it would be that you read this over for rhythm, as I found a few lines seemed to have an extra beat or two.
Have yourself a wonderful day,
Anood
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
This is another gripping piece that has not only shown some of natures best, but also tied it up with the realities of life and death. You’ve done a great job here and I can’t wait to read more of your work!
Have yourself a wonderful day,
Anood
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/anood
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.37 seconds at 3:13pm on Sep 22, 2024 via server web1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
I love this. I really do!