There was something in your writing that is so completely natural that I found myself wondering I had not read this before, published in a book of some sort. The fear of losing a child are usually seen through the view of a woman. Why just today, I was reading a story of two mothers who lost their children in different ways, and it is just refreshing to see the male's point of view, the switching of the roles.
Well, I will begin by saying the storytelling in the beginning seemed nothing less than flawless and for that I was happen for. I am a person that likes to pay attention to detail and to determine whether certain word choices work for certain things.
You had a very acute sense of writing, that at times seemed a bit slow paced, and tedious, but overall, managed to pull together into something worth reading.
I won't lie and say however, the subject its self isn't horribly cliche, but I will go so far as to tell you the conclusion in comparison to the story didn't quite sum everything up as well as I would have hoped. That's the only thing that truly needs editing.
Happy Writings Artetisma
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