I enjoyed this held my attention it didn’t end the way I thought it would and that’s a good thing. Your pacing is good I think a bit more build up on the brothers but perhaps you left it that way to cause the reader to think
I like your flow of consciousness also as someone who has autism I related to this. ow do you use wings to fly when you’ve always be pushed into the ground.
I enjoyed the beginning low and pace. Defitnely had my attention, but it seemed to unravel a bit at the end. All in all I thought the idea played out well in the story.
Keep writing
I’d like if you ever decide to write a prequel
As someone who deals with Autism & ADHD and some serious chronic illness this poem is my day and at times my weeks and months while attempting to live an artist life.
I like it because of its rawness and utter vulnerability.
Don't give up and remember Rest Is Revolution
I read this as one who is about to turn 50. a half century I don't feel old except for my health and my knees oh and my back.
I say this to say your poem found me out later in the night on a Tuesday than I have been in a long while and I'm already regretting it.
I enjoyed how you made aging not a sadness but a outside loss while inside we are still young.
I enjoyed this thankyou
I read your poem as a grandmother and mother who has raised and loved children not always her own.
I read this as a mother estranged from her drug addicted bonus daughter reeling in the pain of knowing I can't help. I felt I was with you because I too have been there. I hope peace finds you and you allow her in and share your favorite drink. Hospitals are and lately seem to be the space of a levels of hell especially all they see is money signs. Condolences for you.
Well written
Keep writing
Hello
I really liked the imagery and I'm familiar with
the bible verses
but the lines reminded of
a love poem and I could feel the
seaweed wrapped around my head.
the Poem is very visceral well done.
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