I saw quality phrasing, effective pace, and writing experience in "A Walk through the Woods." Reading it offered to me a moment of pleasure. I look forward to seeing more of your work.
I enjoyed reading "Do What You Like." You do a great job of keeping the reader engaged. I read far too many stories in which writers spend too much time setting up the plot and/or characters. Your post allowed both to progress naturally. Only one negative comment: you misspelled "derision."
Great story: good pacing, character development, use of dialogue, and tension. I had only one momentary pause at a phrase that distracted: "...broke my heat into a million pieces." That sounded to my ear as somewhat jarring. I thought "...broke my heart." would have been more terse and therefore more effective. This is not so much a broad criticism as it is a comment on the effect on me of the flow and rhythm of words. Good work.
Good writing, though I disagree somewhat with your premise. I think television and culture reflect each other. While tv encourages antisocial behavior, it shows us only who we are and what we want to see. We glorify the angry gun-toting cowboy-swaggering individualist because we--as a culture--see ourselves that way. We cannot change television until we change ourselves.
"Over and Down" made for a fun read, but I have a minor comment: I felt it move too quickly. I wanted to savor the characters and the situations, but I was moved to Roy before I "got" Severus, and then onto the doctor before before I got to know Roy. May I suggest that you exploit more fully each character and change of location as a "scene"? I felt that I was watching the action rather than "being there." Please don't take my comments as a negative review... I enjoyed the story. I understand that your work on "Over and Down" might be an early draft, and my comment, therefore, petty. I look forward to the entire story.
"The Artist" blew me away, too. But then, I am a film buff, and I enjoy old B&Ws and silent movies. The pop culture crowd cannot know what it is missing in its blind pursuit of shiny things that deny the value of its own cultural history. Sad.
Great. It's worth a 5.0, but I stumbled over "completely" in line 8. That's only because I have a grudge against adverbs, and not due to fault in the poem.
Great story. My only criticism lies in a couple of misspellings spotted in reading, but I couldn't find them when I scanned back trough the piece. I recall "weak" for week, but I got lost in the story and forgot the other. Great writing.
Well thought out and well written. I would have broken it down into separate essays, but the length is not a detriment. After all, I read it to the end.
I am a native-born American with no experience beyond our borders, but through reading, I have acquired an infatuation with Indian culture. In my short time on Writing.com I have read several of Dr, Gupta's essays and have found them fair and reasoned.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/artmajor
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 11:22pm on Dec 25, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
