I found your story while using the search engine, and I've got to say, it is a very cute one!
While I'm not familiar with League of Legends in general (the presence of Teemo was the clue, mostly thanks to one of BigBang's pictures :P), a simple Google search was enough to help me visualize the story as I read it. And honestly made me wanna tickle Gnar myself. ^^
For the review part, I can think of two things that could be improved:
It looks like you refer to the characters by their names most of the time. I guess it works here - specially for someone not used to their universe -, but I think switching a little and using synonyms or short descriptions of the characters is a possible improvement.
It looks like there are 5 paragraphs, with the last two close together. I don't know if there's an ideal paragraph length for a tickle story, but maybe if the 2nd, 4th and 5th paragraphs were broken down/separated a little it would then make the story easier to read.
Of course, you could simply keep those points in mind for the next story you publish. Or ignore them, it's up to you. Honestly I thought it was enjoyable to read and even made me wanna know what happened next. ;) So, keep up the good work! :)
Yes, I think tickle stories are underrated. Compared to, say, drawn art.
There's the saying about "A picture is worth a thousand words", and while I believe it's true, it only visually portrays a "frame" (or, if in comic style, a sequence of frames) from the story. And technically, it is possible to just draw something for fun without too much thought put into it and this piece would still have some appeal to it.
With writing... eh, I think it's harder. Telling a story, to me, takes a lot more effort than showing a picture. And that's why it's underrated.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/ashadowyguy
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 1:43am on Nov 16, 2024 via server WEBX1.