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Review of Here I Am  Open in new Window.
Review by assuranceagent Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Very nice. You've managed to tell a solid story in the space of only 500 words. That's certainly not easy to do and I think you've accomplished it gracefully. The story itself is moving and one that I think most people old enough to vote could identify with. You did a nice job with dialogue given the space you had to work with.

As far as suggestions go, I'd count them minor. It might have created a slightly greater tension if, instead of tipping your hand early on by having your narrator refer to his love as "my wife," you instead left some abiguity there. Even, perhaps, referring to her as simply "she." Doing this would serve to leave some question as to the outcome of the conflict in the story. Other than that, I'm not sure what I'd change, save for a couple grammatical or typographical errors here and there.

Generally, a very strong showing in a very small space. Well done! And congratulations on the win!
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