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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/astorey63
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20 Public Reviews Given
20 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
Review of Summertime  Open in new Window.
Review by Ashley Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.0)
I really liked your poem, it was very sweet and the imagery you used made it very easy for me to see what was going on. My favorite stanza's were the 6th and 7th.
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Review by Ashley Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I absolutely love this and admire your story!
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Review of MAD COW DISEASE?  Open in new Window.
Review by Ashley Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.5)
Good job with the dialouge and end rhyme. Some of its hard to follow, maybe the word choice? The ending is real cute!
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Review of Under Your Skin  Open in new Window.
Review by Ashley Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (2.5)
I really liked this, you were very descriptive and used great details. And definetly grossed me out haha! But I wish you could have ended the story by telling what happened to the man.
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Review by Ashley Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (3.0)
I absolutely loved this story, and I can really relate to this considering I am in a similar situation. But reading this made me feel as if I am making the right decision by keeping my baby. You did a great job expressing the characters emotions.
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Review by Ashley Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.0)
I like how you start each "sentence" with the title. LOVE the ending, it's so sweet! It sounds like it should say "If only you were perfect".
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Review of Whisper Of A Name  Open in new Window.
Review by Ashley Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
I love in the opening paragraph you say " It was as most things are, misunderstood and eventually forgotten." That is so true. You say so many things in this story that are relateable such as a grandmothers eyes. This really makes the reader be involved with the character. I like how you gave enough detail to support the story and how you used repition. The end was shocking. Great job!
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Review of Lead Me  Open in new Window.
Review by Ashley Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.0)
This was very good, I liked your word choices. I really like the first stanza.
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Review by Ashley Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (2.0)
Like the title, it's an attention grabber! In the first sentence you could have done without the word "almost". I like how descriptive you are throughout the story. The story is good and the language kind of makes the character who he is but some of it just does not sound right. Like the word choice "spindly and gurgling" you used. Intresting story but towards the end it seemed like you were rushing to end it, maybe elaborate more or go into detail about the spider??? Overall great job.
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Review by Ashley Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (2.0)
Great job with descriptions and details. I felt like I could see what was going on. Nice usage of repititions! Some parts of the story were hard to follow. Maybe because of word choice?
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Review of Malice Intended  Open in new Window.
Review by Ashley Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (2.5)
I really liked this, it instantly caught my attention. You did a great job with details and descriptions of everything!
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