This is outstanding in flow and truest to poetry that rhymes. A lot of poems for me are hit or miss, and few and far between, and they don't really speak to me but this one kept me from first stanza to fourth. The fact that you keep returning to the lyric "what a beautiful disaster" says to me that you get it ... what poetry really is.
Bravo! This is well spoken in your poetic voice and I love the overall feel of this particular piece. I wouldn't really change anything about it, I think as it is ... it's concise and fresh and doesn't need revision. I added you to my favorites because I enjoyed it that much.
I really enjoyed this poem of 'jest' as it really gets you thinking about the subjects you cover. I wouldn't change a thing about this write ... I believe that there's enough said in what you do have, and its said rather well in your poetic voice. I really enjoyed this ...
First; I do believe in love at first sight. I think of it as a unique magic as owned by the recipient in a way a medium has psychic blips ... Just knowing by 3rd eye sight or feeling. Your writing flows and keeps the mind's attention on what is happening and it does invite the reader to finish the piece without skipping through. Whether or not others believe in your subject won't matter in this case. It's a captivating short read. Well done!
Power in a poem is something to be commended. This verse "With lame excuses and passing the buck they hope to regain enough votes in time. But then maybe it’s all just down to luck and who is allowed in the voting line." is the power point of the entire composition and also "Just choose which candidate lies to you less." The wolves were never one with the truth. You have definitely captured the way of the politician and discrimination that is ignored by some and seen by a few. Well penned, I really enjoyed this piece!
The lyrics is amiss in rhyme but I really felt refreshed reading something other than boo hoo he left me! Thank you for restoring my faith in these sort of poems!
I am giving you the 5.0 for the flow. It really continues from one stanza to the next the way a poem of this type ought to ... I am sorry that you had a muse for such a pain, but you captured it well (or so it reads to be) ~ J Hallam
This could maybe use some minor revision, but it is otherwise a great read. I can clearly follow the story without much trouble and I found it interesting enough to read all the way through (ever skip long reads because of boredom? then you understand what I mean) Do you have more to it or is it a standalone short? ~J Hallam
This poem, although concise speaks volumes about your subject. "We have lost our way in tangled strings" and what a point you make just with this part of the stanza alone as well as "the black and white facts begin" and that is how it really is when we think about the confusion of politics and where their decisions lead. Unfortunately it will remain "black and white" in their tangled webs of confusion. Well penned.
From a life-review to a plethora of blood, this was a nice little hint of horror spice. Your descriptions are fair, though it could use some revision.
~Jess
I really like what you have going here. It reminded me of when I read a Koontz novel and my mind kept wandering here and there as other thoughts would enter. I like how it shows where your mind went at various points of the read, you expressed them well through these 9 stanzas.
Jess
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/authorjhallam
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 1:32am on Nov 13, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
