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202 Public Reviews Given
209 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by autumnlady Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is very well written. Great continuity and building of urgency to the crescendo of the finale. Beautiful language and descriptive imagery used to describe this analogy of the blown wild rose seed to that of the soul.
There are a few typos and spelling errors. Otherwise this would be a perfect poem!
Keep writing *Smile*
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2
Review of I Wish I Knew  Open in new Window.
Review by autumnlady Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
A very sad poem. It must have been very hard to write. You tell the story very well. The way it is written evokes you anger and frustration and pain. But you still manage to write with good meter and rhythm. I especially like the first line. It explains straight away that what we are about to read is painful to you, and that you're not "yourself". I also like the 4th line in the last stanza. It tells us how confused you are.
A lovely heartwrenching poem, well written and to the point *Smile*
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3
Review of New Life  Open in new Window.
Review by autumnlady Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Well written. Good style and content. Keep writing *Smile*
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4
Review of MY "HI!" TO YOU  Open in new Window.
Review by autumnlady Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
A lovely introduction to yourself and your work.
Keep writing *Smile*
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5
Review of Beautiful Bones  Open in new Window.
Review by autumnlady Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Well written. A good story with good continuity and description. The repetition works very well. A lovely dark twist at the end. Good work. Keep writing *Smile*
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Review of Ten  Open in new Window.
Review by autumnlady Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love this piece! Your use of language and description is wonderful. The pace and flow of this piece is excellent. You have talent! Keep writing *Smile*
Please come and join our Black Case Experience Cafe *Smile*

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Review of To Laugh Like He  Open in new Window.
Review by autumnlady Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
A good piece of work! It flows well with good rhythm. The content is excellent. The happiest people are those that don't take themselves too seriously.
Keep writing *Smile*
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8
Review by autumnlady Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
This is a very depressing piece. You have captured the hopelessness of depression with good imagery and description. Good use of language evokes your emotions.
Keep writing *Smile*

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9
Review by autumnlady Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
A lovely poem. You have managed to convey all your thoughts and frustrations in a poetic way. It has a good flow and excellent content.
Keep writing *Smile*

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10
Review of Belonging safely  Open in new Window.
Review by autumnlady Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
These are good love song lyrics. All love songs need to touch the listener and these are very emotive.
Keep writing *Smile*

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11
Review of Runaway  Open in new Window.
Review by autumnlady Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
This piece is quite repetitive. Are they song lyrics? The work has good emotion but needs to be more descriptive and less self absorbed as a stand alone piece.
Keep writing *Smile*

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12
Review of Colors Changing  Open in new Window.
Review by autumnlady Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
A nice little piece. It has good emotion, yet needs to be a little more descriptive in the language used.
"though not even it I can trust" - this line needs reworking.
Keep writing *Smile*

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13
Review of The Key  Open in new Window.
Review by autumnlady Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (3.0)
A nice little piece. Good use of analogy. It could use a little more descriptive language and emotion.
Keep writing *Smile*

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14
Review of Poets Many  Open in new Window.
Review by autumnlady Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a very well written poem. Good use of language and description. Good imagery. Good use of analogy. The content is wonderful and the poem has an easy flow and cadence.
Keep writing *Smile*

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15
Review of Reflection  Open in new Window.
Review by autumnlady Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I think we can all relate to this piece. Well written.

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16
16
Review by autumnlady Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Good poem! Nicely written.
Keep writing *Smile*

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17
Review of Shadows  Open in new Window.
Review by autumnlady Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I like this fun "Halloween" type poem. The abba quatrain is very difficult to write, yet you have made it seem easy. It flows well with great description and imagery. You have good continuity, leading the reader along, telling the story then announcing who you are and what you are going to do. It would make a great childrens scary poem, especially the last line! An enjoyable poem to read.
Keep writing *Smile*
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Review by autumnlady Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (3.0)
"He had a wrinkled but sharp face with a long thin nose. His nose extended so far beyond his face Brett wondered how the man could wear a surgical mask that could cover his entire face. Brett noticed the eyes immediately"
You describe the mans nose first and then say he noticed his eyes "immediatley". That sentence needs to be changed around.
"Brett was the complete opposite of copasetic"
Wouldn't it be easier to say he was upset, panicking, or something else?
This is a well constructed story with good continuity and a great twist. It has good characterisation and content. It needs a little revision.
Keep writing *Smile*

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19
Review of I Am...  Open in new Window.
Review by autumnlady Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.5)
"it’s better to be silent and
be
thought a fool rather than to speak and remove all doubt".
When quoting other people's work it is courteous to name the original author.
A nice little piece.
Keep writing *Smile*

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20
Review of Scales  Open in new Window.
Review by autumnlady Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
A very well written poem. Your use of language is delightful and imaginative. Your content and message clear and concise. Your philosophy thought provoking.
Well done! *Smile*
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Review of The Sky is Grey  Open in new Window.
Review by autumnlady Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a very moving piece. The utter desolation you manage to convey in so few words is astonishing. The analogy of the "fire" that destroyed everything, save for the black tree cumbling is befitting of this intense analogy to the devastation you convey. Your portrayal of a life that no longer exists and the havoc that was wrought is perfect! Your language fills the reader with that same desolation. Our only hope is that "dark silhouette that appears to be breathing"
You shock the reader with your brevity, yet the readers consciousness and understanding is stirred by your language.
Well Done!
Keep writing *Smile*
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22
Review of About a Girl  Open in new Window.
Review by autumnlady Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
A very nice piece. You use of descriptive words paint a very real picture of this girl that you dream about. Your needs and desires are written with colour and clarity.
Some suggestions if I may.
You start this piece with "So". - I think this is redundant.
"A connection that is magic, scary, beautiful." - could you use another more suitable word than scary?
I think the ending could use a revision. It seems a little child like.
Overall a good piece.
Keep writing *Smile*
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23
Review of Where Were You  Open in new Window.
Review by autumnlady Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I really like this piece! The way you have carried the reader along, gently at first, then dropped them scalding into a boiling cauldron of accusations and remonstrations. The way you have begun each of the first 5 stanzas with "I wanted" - "I needed" -"I pleaded" - "I screamed" - "I longed" till you read out the sentence of all the allegations. Your use of language beats the reader down until they feel exactly the same.
Well written! Good construction and continuity. Good use of language and description.
There is no argument. Guilty is the only verdict!
Keep writing *Smile*
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Review by autumnlady Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
The analogy of roads and highways to the "journey" of life is well worn. Yet you seem to have given it a new surface in this piece. In the first stanza, the repetition of "run over" gives the reader an insight into your characterisation. "Run over" and over run. In the second stanza your allusion to "quarks" and the "space-time cloth" creates a vivid picture. Your use of alliteration adds depth to your piece.
The content of one man's journey "picking and choosing reality" is well executed.
Well written with good structure and deliciously debatable philosophy *Smile*
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Review by autumnlady Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
You have some good points in this piece. You are missing a few, but as you point out, you will "add from time to time".
Can you tell this is written by a woman? *Pthb*
I like the humour used and the plain language. A good philosophy as well. Our differences do make us attractive to each other. Compromise and acceptance are key issues. Of course we can't forget that small thing called LOVE.
Espousal love can endure any obstacles and circumstances in Life, if couples remain a "couple". That old adage "United we stand, divided we fall" takes on new meaning when challenges beset us.
Keep writing and keep Loving *Smile*
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