Nicely done! I really liked the words you used in this poem. They were very well done. I liked the perspective given from the victims' families and the rest of the world. I could really relate to that. However, I was confused by the word "Maelstorm." Is that a word? Also, the format of putting your sentences all together can be a bit confusing to a reader. That said, this was a beautiful poem, and a beautiful tribute to those children in Connecticut
Excellent! I was intrigued from beginning to end! Very well done! Now there were a few areas where I was confused, such as when Joe answered the phone, and then it's "Joe, it's Martin." At first, I wasn't sure, but I did catch it when I read again. Also, there are a few areas that need a few commas. Otherwise, this is great. I personally like it because it has surgeons and medicine as a prominent theme, and I am interested in that type of thing. :) Doubly so because I like romance too. Overall, nicely done!
Well done! You used the right words to describe the situation, and it worked well. I can see everything fits together nicely. There isn't really anything that I would change about it. I love every part of the piece. Great job!
Good rhyming. Interesting way to express the theme, it seems a bit rappish. I don't know if you intend it to be that way or not, considering in your title that you have the word "song" there. I am not sure you should say that "a kiss would mean goodbye" because a kiss doesn't always mean goodbye. Nothing much to say here, except you forgot to put an apostrophe in "we're" at the beginning of stanza four, and "I" is not capitalized in the second line of stanza eight. Overall, very interesting.
This is very good. I like the suspense that is held throughout the whole piece. Very good beginning too. However, I would like to hear more. I am left feeling like something is missing, and I think that some background can help with that. More details would be helpful too. But I will say the details you do have are vibrant and expressive, and I commend you on that. Very good overall. Very good indeed.
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