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3 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Bamsareq Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Although I am sure you likely had a specific meaning when writing this poem, I can't help but be torn between two possible interpretations. One interpretation being "death of a loved one" and the other being the more literal "long distance relationship".

The story within the poem is written in such a cryptic way that I have found myself rereading sections several times over to decipher the meaning.

"It wont be a struggle for long my love." - This implies to me that if the narrator is deceased, perhaps he/she knows something about the love that was left behind. Perhaps death also comes soon for them? Or is it the more literal answer, the narrator has been away and coming back to be with his love in person?

This poem reads so smoothly, so easily, and yet leaves so much open to interpretation. Instead of spelling it all out for the reader, you force us to use our imaginations!

Great work!

If you have a chance, I would appreciate your feedback on some of my work as well!
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Review by Bamsareq Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Overall, I really liked this short story. You manage to capture the personality of children perfectly, as well as the frustration of the parents at different points, trying to keep their cool while not ruining the eventual surprise. It's a well-written, light story that chronicles an average family's above-average Saturday. Only one error that stood out to me is two times you spelled Lily with three L's (Lilly) instead of just two, a simple mistake!
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