First of all, I loved this. I'm not typically a poetry reader, but the first word caught me off-guard, and I couldn't stop for the life of me. In 20 lines, I had gone from my couch, to this drug den, to a couch in a house that I can now better see becoming a prison such as that. I see hope, despair, desperation, loneliness, and I dare say a sense of family, despite, or because of their plight.
I would only replace they're with their on line 8. The numbering shows how much thought you've put into every syllable, but I'm not sure it's necessary, and might be a little distracting. But overall, this was a fantastic read, and I'm looking forward to sharing it.
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