The pacing in this piece is great and I found myself hooked straight away. Thank you for producing such an encouraging and believable piece. I used to live in those mountains and they do have such an effect that pictures can never show. Blessings!
This piece has GREAT, believable dialogue and has just the right amount of gritty, hard boiled feel. It drew me in and I wasn't just sad for the loss of Al's partner but also for any more adventures they could have had. Bravo! You have made a fan out of this follower!
I like the economical style, both sparse and realistic. This one smacks of Robert Bloch's "Enoch", probably the scariest story a young migraineur could ever be forced to read. Bravo! Your Bad Man definitely differs from Seth's strange, Stockholm Syndromesque attachment to his tiny brain monster.
‘But you must promise to take good care of him.’
‘Sure,’ said Mr. Cassidy.
‘And you'll give him… what he wants? What he needs?’
Definitely enjoy the different angle and endings - great job!
I love this! I often wonder if the muse will follow me wherever I may go. Now, because of you, I know. :)
I enjoy the rhythm and the cadence of you poem very much. The "blessing" of the "fading eye", very poignant. Thank you! Write on!
This is nice. I like the rhythm of the words. They flow and row like the characters. And, the title is perfect - a little sweet, a little mysterious! You are definitely one of my new faves! I like your style a lot.
Love it! This is exactly the way I used to get my former hubbs to do things that I knew and he knew he could do faster and better. I ground the flour and made the bread, homeschooled and make kids into respectable little people. He could do the rest!
I like this! It is very hard for me to write on command - academic writing is different, though. But, it is only when the muse overtakes like some wonderful surprise that out comes scribbling onto napkins and onto the backs of grocery receipts that *something*, that special piece I hold onto and repeat again and again. I had an old account to. Writers, I think, are always remaking themselves!
I like the part where you "confide in the outdoors" - that helps me with a lot of things, too.
And, the end "still nothing" says a lot. The "still" can mean more than one thing. Great choice!
Very exciting! I felt like I was right there with you. Don't leave us all hanging...keep writing!
The dialogue was very believable and the writing was like a diary. Good deal.
I know this feeling, gypsie_soul - it's the best thing in the world! You articulated it very well - we are all free to fail so long as we are really trying!
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