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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/batgirl1941l
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23 Public Reviews Given
110 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
Review by Serendipity Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
"Trees will watch o’er you
the earth be your grave." -
I'm not sure if this last line fits. It goes with the theme of everything sun - moon - wind - water - fire - earth. But, it doesn't seem to go. All of the other ones were objects that someone would use - toys, blankets, etc. - graves is not in that area of objects. But I do understand that the point is for the grave to be there. It just seems odd.

I really like this poem actually. It is kind of cool. And I don't find it sad {maybe I'm wierd}.

It reminds me of the kind of things that my Mom always told me to be - self reliant and independant. Which are all things I respect. That probably wasn't the intent - but I think it is a good thing.

It's like a Mother telling her child - go ahead and go make your own mistakes. That is a good thing to teach a child and it is important for people to make mistakes so that they can learn from them.

Plus it's just pretty.
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Review by Serendipity Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Cute and funny. Seems like something some one would pass around the office email or something.

But really it seems more like the son was just trying to get out of having an uncomfortable conversation and pretending to be ignorant. A college graduate should have more common sence than that, especially someone that well versed in "communication"

Have you ever thought about putting character names in it? I think it would be more interesting conversationally and less like stand up comedy to have a character's name.
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