This promises a lot! You really build up tension and mystery in the first chapter. It really made me wonder what was so important about that file and who the mysterious man was. And in the second chapter I got a real sense of Farooq's personality, about how he's so emotional and gets angry at a lot of things. And the mystery came back at the end about where Asad had gone. Keep up the good description and the mystery and this story should be amazing.
Write On!
Quester...
This looks quite good. The dialogue sounds like the stuff policemen and detectives would say. I also like the idea of an eighty-year-old who can solve a crime. However I would have liked this chapter to be a bit longer so you could add more. This story could go far I think.
Write On!
Quester...
This was a very great piece. I could find nothing bad except for a misspelling of LIGHTNING. Very descriptive and a good plot. It was, in a way, poetic. Keep writing!
Quester
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