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415 Public Reviews Given
428 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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51
51
Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Nice story, plenty of suspense.

I liked the dialogue you used I also like the way the story flowed from start to finish.

You could expand on the story if you wanted. Maybe about the second robber who had gotten away. Did he come for revenge against the hostage who had given police information? Was he cornered and involved in a shoot out?

A couple of ideas maybe?.

I like the way you have laid your story out too. Not on top of each other but nice spacing between paragraphs makes for easier reading.

Well done.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
52
52
Review of Human Ideas  
Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Nice last line, that made me chuckle.

To be fair I was thinking the aliens were a bit wimpy.

You did well with this I thought, you used the whole story to set us up for that last line and it was worth it.

The interaction between your characters worked, you could sense the irritation from the alien.

nice work.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
53
53
Review of Menagerie  
Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I like what you have done here turning Earth into a merchants breeding facility and us an irritating infection.

I like the descriptions that you have used to describe the asteroid and its features.

The dialogue worked well between the characters and I think it flowed nicely.

I liked the way in which you made us destroying the ozone layer the damage done to his breeding facility.

Nice imagination. Well done


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
54
54
Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I like what you have done here.

A clerical error, what a way to go.

Although quite a gloomy subject the end of the Earth, you did it well in a way that made me smile and titter a bit.

I particularly liked the shuffling of papers and the off screen discussion. The dialogue was nicely done too.

Well done, nice job.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
55
55
Review of Broken Mirrors  
Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I found myself reading faster and faster to find out what was going to happen.

You could do a lot more with this if you wanted to.

You have got me asking all sorts questions, which if you answered some of them would lead to a lot longer piece of writing.

What is the back story? Who is she? Who broke the mirrors? Was it her, or someone else? Who took things away from her?

I look forward to reading more if you do decide to expand the piece.

Grammar I cannot comment on. It is an area that I need to improve upon.

You certainly engaged with me though I couldn't read this fast enough.

Nice job.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
56
56
Review of Piano Skeleton  
Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Good job.

I like this story. You managed to fit a full tale into such a small word count.

The ending was a nice touch first the piano gets Steve then it gets his girlfriend.

You could take it further maybe have the skeletons become part of a ghostly musical troupe playing for the ghostly hierarchy.

What dialogue you used worked and fit into the story nicely. I like the way you inserted texting into the story, because like it or love it everyone uses text messaging more than calling now.

Nice story, thank you for sharing it with us.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
57
57
Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
I struggled at first to see what she was up to. I like your dialogue between the two women especially when she was detailing about the affair.

I still do not understand how she will get onto television but you certainly put some effort into it.

I like the ending where you had the attorney jump for the gun and try a shot at her. When the whole thing would be investigated that would definitely get her the interviews she craves.

Nice story


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
58
58
Review of Christmas Miracle  
Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Nice little story,

I enjoyed reading this, it fits the bill for that Christmas eve tale to the kids just before they drop off to sleep.

Not too long that they lose interest but not too short either. A stocking filler story so to speak.

It is a tale that is short enough to cut through the kids excitement at christmas and focus them on santa.

Nice work.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
59
59
Review of Time Kills All  
Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I can't say i enjoyed reading this, but that is only because of the subect matter. I have two young girls.

Anyway the piece itself. It was a nice piece of writing the story flowed from start to finish smoothly with no sharp corners so to speak.

The storyline was good, it certainly made me stop and think. I could feel his loss and then when at the end you added the wife into the mix you hit the jackpot so to speak.

I was thinking this guy had had it bad losing his daughter then bam you hit us with the hammer blow. Nice touch at the end it gave it an added twist. Instead of being a sad story it turned into a travesty.

Nice job.

I cannot comment on grammar it is one of the things i get criticised most for myself.

I did enjoy the writing even though it came a bit too close to one of my personal nightmares.

Keep it up.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
60
60
Review of The Cure  
Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Good story.

The sad thing is, it is so good because it is the sort of thing we could envision someone actually doing.

I liked the ending where even though he makes it out the office he will not escape. you also give us a scene where the vaccine has been used and the men are comliant non communicative near zombies.

You could do a lot with this. Have your doctor escape and start working on an anti-virus. Organise a resistance cell. Infaltrate government and try to get a reversal that way.

Lots of scope.

I look forward to see if you do take it further.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
61
61
Review of Pale October  
Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi, Leahpatra,

A nice story, i noticed a couple of small typo's that you may want to fix, nothing serious.

I liked the way you had him not wanting to admit to his cousin that he wanted a date. Very much a guy thing.

The next bit threw me a little, '" This outta be fun I thought to myself. "Yep, it will be" she said.'. If he thought it, how did she answer?

Unless you plan to put a twist in and she is a ghost or spirit or something. Either way it is not a bad thing. It only made me ask the question it did not in anyway put me off reading the story.

Do you plan on taking it further?

With the halloween theme you could take it down the horror route, or teens romance, mystery, or a combination of a few different themes.

I liked the way the story changed slightly when he saw Morisha. You could quite obviously tell he was smitten.

Nice job i look forward to reading more if you develop it further.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
62
62
Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Nice story, i liked the build up the explanation about always building a haunted house.

I did guess what was coming but saying that i still enjoyed reading this.

You could take this story in a few different directions should you decide to build off it.

You leave us with us asking questions such as, how did she get home? Why is she tied to the house? How come she did not know she had died?

Loads of potential.

You could even turn it into a story about her realising she is a ghost, coming into her haunting powers or even throw a comedic slant on it like Beetlejuice.

I noticed one typo, 'Startle I asked'.

Whatever you decide good luck with it.

Nice job.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
63
63
Review of Unwanted Feelings  
Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
A tale i think most of us can relate to.

You capture her feelings really well.

I noticed one typo i think, 'I remained seared and clapped for him,'

Other than that i thought it was a nice piece.

It flowed nicely, i liked the dialogue you used it seamed to fit in with what you were portraying.

Nice jobe, well done.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
64
64
Review of The Time Machine  
Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
A play on back to the future, it works.

A nice little story in so few words.

One mistake i noticed, i think you missed a word out 'the attendant and both said at the same time' I think 'I' is missing. I may be wrong but it doesn't quite flow.

A space added 'looked a t the car'.

But to be fair if that is all there is to pick up on that is a good thing an easy fix for you.

I do the same sort of thing, i get into the story start writing and my fingers cannot keep up with my mind. I have loads of this type of mistake.

Your story flowed nicely for such a small word count. You had a definate beginning with the auction, the middle where you were waiting for the husband to come back and the finish when the car took them on their adventure.

Obviously you have plenty of scope to take this further with a time travelling device. I am not sure how easy that would be with the differences in the environments and keeping the time lines straight. Could be a good challenge for you.

Good luck, nice job.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
65
65
Review of Green Tinted  
Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I enjoyed reading this i noticed a couple of mistakes 'She was gasping, head over her mouth' Should that have been hand over the mouth. 'staring reluctantly at he portal' and i think that should have been 'the'.

Nothing much really. The story flows nicely and i like the twist at the end where your character had been suspiscious and programmed a second portal.

The dialogue you used worked well.

A nice little story. Do you plan to take it further? Perhaps they come back to arrest him or something, or maybe you tell the story of the development of the world.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
66
66
Review of Be With Me  
Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, Glad you were able to edit your work it reads a lot better now.

A cracking little story that i thoroughly enjoyed reading.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
67
67
Review of Tobias' Day Off  
Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Nice story, at first I thought you were going down the avatar route with water bending. It was a nice pleasant surprise when you did not and hit us with the dragon.

You had some nice descriptive phrases in this that worked really well.

Thank you for sharing this with us


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
68
68
Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, nice little piece of writing, thought provoking. I think I saw one misused word ' lived his like feeling' other than that though I liked it.

I had to read it twice to get to grips with it, I put that down to me trying to be clever and power through.

I like some of the phrases you used they worked well.

Nice job.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
69
69
Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
A pleasant story which made me smile.

I like the part about snail mail describing how it worked in the olden days. I can remember those days myself and having to lick the stamps to send those snail mail letters.

Whilst I was reading this I realised that there are probably a lot on here who may have never sent a real letter. Fair enough they may have seen formal letters or bills and advertisements sent through the mail but most of the modern youth use text or e mail.

Anyway a nice pleasant story with a funny ending that I enjoyed reading. Thank you for sharing this with us.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
70
70
Review of Following orders  
Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Nice little tale with a nice twist at the end.

It makes you think also especially in light of the last 100 years in Europe how many have fought because they had to and did not want to? How many have sat in the back of trucks to carry out a duty they believed wrong but known if they didn't carry it out they would be the ones in trouble?

Nice little backstory. Then an incident to set the idea of him being upset with his lot, then BOOM got him.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
71
71
Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
A good little story. You set the stage for the young girls dreams then you gave her the tools to achieve those dreams.

The dialogue worked between them.

No better place to see a tightrope walker than a circus.

To be fair quite a lot of story fit into such a small word count.


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72
72
Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Nice story here.

We have all been in the same position i imagine. The first one is usually the worst one.

Break ups affect each of us differently, like your story people can grow from them and learn and move on. Other cannot, they dwell in the past and things fester and twist at them to in some cases they take their own lives or in other they withdraw and become bitter and twiste.

What i am awkwardly getting to is some of these diffrent ways of dealing with a break up could be used to expand your story or you could explore writing several different versions. One where he moves on, one where he gets bitter and twisted, one where he strikes out in revenge at his former love and new love etc..

The dialogue you used worked well. You also painted some nice scenes with your descriptive phrases.

From a grammar point of view i cannot help i need improvement there myself.

Nice job, well done.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
73
73
Review of The Birthdays  
Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
A very nice childrens tale.

Not too long for them to lose interest but long enough to keep them engaged and interested.

A perfect bedtime story.

The characters all worked well and you used a theme a lot of children would be familiar with.

There was also a nice example of friendship.

Well done, nice job.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
74
74
Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
A nice funny little tale.

You were right it would not have been fair to leave him in the rain whilst you waited it out.

The bit with the keys was a nice little joke it is the sort of comment a lot of us would make.

Although you did not use loads of descriptive phrases you still set the scene of a downpour very well.

I can relate to the wife thing to.

Nice job in a small word count.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
75
75
Review of The Dance  
Review by bellowsface
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I got caught up in this, when you were describing the speed and setting the atmosphere i found myself starting to read faster.

So your story certainly connected with me.

I like the dialogue used to set the telling of the story up, that worked well.

The description of the pool was great.

Grammar i just do not know enough to offer an opinion.

Quite a lot told in a small word count, nice job.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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