I think you have the base for a very strong, character-driven story here. The goal of this sort of mystery/suspense story is to get the reader interested enough in the character and the situation so that he or she wants to know what happens next, and I feel you do this very well. The prose style is easy to read, and events in the story flow naturally (the conclusion of the story does not seem contrived at all, so I'm not sure what problem other readers might have with it). One suggestion I might make concerns some lengthy expository paragraphs the story contains, The story takes place over a fair length of time, and explaining these periods away in a linear format can disrupt the flow of the story. I wonder if the story wouldn't work better if it began somewhat further in to your narrative, such as the meeting with the detective or Lena's first meeting with Kieran, and worked it's way backward though reminiscing and flashbacks, utilizing dialogue rather than narration. Just a thought. My only other quibble (and it's an extremely minor one) is that the story's title refers to the quilt the couple worked on, and while it is mentioned at length at the beginning of the story and briefly at the end of it, it barely gets a mention through the majority of the piece. Maybe it might work better if the quilt is the one thing Lena leaves behind, serving as a constant reminder of the place she once took in Kieran's life. Like I said, though, that's minor. Here's wishing you good luck in getting the story published.
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 7:28pm on Dec 25, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
My review has been submitted for consideration in "