I enjoyed reading your story. You were able to evoke many images by just using your words. Your story left me with lots of questions that I would certainly look forward to reading if you were to go ahead and turn this into a short story or even novel.
Well done!
This is wonderful. It's so powerful. You can feel the torment in your words. You want to have a friend, so you feel you must be someone that you are not. You don't want to have to pretend to be someone else but you don't want to be alone.
Enjoying the story and how it is progressing.
I still believe that some of your paragraphs are too long. You have several scenes in the one paragraph. Some of your sentrences could be condensed, specifically when you're describing where Bradshaw places an item on his body.
I was quite surprised that Bradshaw traded Grim for a different dagger, as it seemed to be his favourite.
Again, the dialogue is not always properly formated as well as incorrect tenses are being used.
This is a beautiful poem. I am able to feel how much love is between the couple. Reading the words brought vivid images to my mind.
I loved it.
Thank-you.
Sincerely,
Betina.
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