If certain sentences were shortened they might have made a greater impact. Long sentences can become clumsy and unwieldy where punctuation is lacking.
"Far away in a picturesque jungle a tiny little bird with a rainbow painted sky flew across". Sentence is a little disjointed. The rainbow painted sky belongs to the picturesque jungle not to the tiny little bird.
The reference to the bird changes from 'he/him' to 'it' frequently and can be confusing to the reader.
Subject to the above, it's a nice feel-good story and the respect for nature comes across clearly, as does the message that small in stature doesn't necessarily mean weak.
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 5:21pm on Dec 26, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
My review has been submitted for consideration in "